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Car humour

By FaezClutchless on 31 Jan 2012

Attached Image: picturesdothowbitsdotcom.jpg

ďA chuckle a day keeps the doctor away.Ē Sometimes we need a laugh or two to reduce the amount of stress or worries we have in our daily lives. Recently, one of my friends mentioned about a certain automotive joke which involves the number 710.

I have never heard of it and I was a little clueless. So I went online and did an internet search on the joke and found it. I had a really good laugh and later on went to search more jokes on cars. This is what I found and would like to share with everyone here some of the good ones.

Attached Image: 710.jpg

1) A few days ago I was having some work done at my local garage. A blonde came in and asked for a seven-hundred-ten. We all looked at each other and another customer asked, "What is a seven-hundred-ten?"

She replied, "You know, the little piece in the middle of the engine, I have lost it and need a new one." She replied that she did not know exactly what it was, but this piece had always been there.
The mechanic gave her a piece of paper and a pen and asked her to draw what the piece looked like. She drew a circle and in the middle of it wrote 710.

He then took her over to another car which had its hood up and asked "Is there a 710 on this car?"

She pointed and said, "Of course, itís right there."

This is what she pointed to... (see picture above)

2) A businessman walked into a New York City bank and asked for the loan officer. He said he was going to Europe on business for two weeks and needed to borrow $5,000. The loan officer said the bank would need some security for such a loan.

The business man then handed over the keys to a Rolls Royce that was parked on the street in front of the bank. Everything checked out and the loan officer accepted the car as collateral for the loan. An employee then drove the Rolls into the bank's underground garage and parked it there.

Two weeks later the businessman returned, repaid the $5,000 and the interest which came to $15.41.

The loan officer said, "We do appreciate your business and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a bit puzzled. While you were away we checked and found that you are a multimillionaire. What puzzles us is why you would bother to borrow $5,000?"

The business man replied: "Where else in New York City can I park my car for two weeks for fifteen bucks?"

3) I was recently riding with a friend of mine.

We were coming to a red light, and he shoots right through it. I ask him, "Why'd you do that?" He tells me this is how his brother drives.

We come to another red light, and again, he shoots right through it. I ask him, "Why'd you do that?" Again, he tells me this is how his brother drives.

We come to a green light, and he slams on the brakes. My heart nearly goes into my throat. I shouted at him, "Why do you do that?!"

He replied, "You never know, my brother could be coming the other way."

4) A traffic cop pulled alongside a speeding car on the motorway. Glancing into the car, he was astounded to see that the young lady, who was driving, was knitting.

Realising that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the policeman wound down his window, turned on his loudspeaker and yelled, 'PULL OVER!'
'NO', the young lady yelled back, 'IT's A SCARF!'

5) As Retired Lieutenant Commander Andrew Craig was driving his old car down the motorway, his mobile phone rang. Answering, he heard his wife's voice urgently warning him, 'Andrew, I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on the M275. Please be careful!'
'Botheration, 'said Andrew, 'Itís not just one car. Itís hundreds of them!'

6) There was this car that was driving very slowly down the highway. A State Trooper pulls it over. "What have I done wrong, officer?" the driver asks.
"You are going 26mph on a major highway. There is a law against that," the officer says to the driver. "You must go at least 50mph."
"But when I turned on the highway, the sign said 26!" the driver replies.
"HA HA HA!" The officer laughs out loud. "That is because this is Interstate 26! The 26 isn't the speed limit!"

The driver leans back in her car seat and the cop sees another woman sitting beside her. She looked as pale as a ghost.
"What happened to her?" the officer asks.
"I don't know, but she has been that way ever since we got off of interstate 160."

7) There was once a small snail who always dreamed of becoming a race-car driver. One day he heard that an uncle of his had died and left him some money! Now his dream could be realized! He bought himself a car, souped it up, and then painted a large red "S" on it.

When he was at his first race, a friend of his asked him why he had painted the big red "S" on the car? Simple, the snail replied when people see my car go zooming down the, track I want them all to exclaim: Oh look!! See the S car go!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Written by FaezClutchless
Some say that his blood is actually RON98 petrol and some say that his right foot weighs over 20kg. But all that we know about Faez is that he loves to drive and is a JDM enthusiast.

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