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Need advice for family related issues


UncleAtas
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(edited)

Need some advice.

 

Just moved in to my new house for a few months already.. Brought in my parents in law + bro in law to live together as they do not have a place of their own.

 

To cut story short.

 

My wife experienced a very bad encounter with his father. I will not list them all but a few only

 

  1. He brushed his hands against my wife’s bottom while he was walking behind her

 

  1. While my wife was walking in the house, he was sitting at the dining and staring at my wife’s chest area. How she knew this was that she was looking at him right in the face all along.

 

  1. While she was napping in the living room, she opened her eyes and caught her dad staring at her. When he notice that she’s awake, he walked off abruptly without saying anything.

 

This incidents has caused her so much distress and lose all the respect she had towards him. She has been locking herself in the room while im at work and feeling shitty every single day. Crying every time she recalled these incidents. She felt that she has been sexually violated.

 

Tried telling her mom, but she brushed it off as it could be an accident and it can happen anywhere.  Even told my wife to forget all about it.

 

It has been a few weeks and the tension at home is really tight.

 

What should I do? Should I confront him?

 

Feeling shitty thinking about this issue.

 

Having a new and big house doesn’t mean happiness is guaranteed. Dang!

Edited by Sickboi
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Erm i think u are referring to your wife's father right.

 

Is he quite elderly already? Any signs of dementia?

 

Need some advice.

 

Just moved in to my new house for a few months already.. Brought in my parents in law + bro in law to live together as they do not have a place of their own.

 

To cut story short.

 

My wife experienced a very bad encounter with his father. I will not list them all but a few only

 

  1. He brushed his hands against my wife’s bottom while he was walking behind her

 

  1. While my wife was walking in the house, he was sitting at the dining and staring at my wife’s chest area. How she knew this was that she was looking at him right in the face all along.

 

  1. While she was napping in the living room, she opened her eyes and caught her dad staring at her. When he notice that she’s awake, she walked off abruptly.

 

This incidents has caused her so much distress and lose all the respect she had towards him. She has been locking herself in the room while im at work and feeling shitty every single day. Crying every time she recalled these incidents. She felt that she has been sexually violated.

 

Tried telling her mom, but she brushed it off as it could be an accident and it can happen anywhere.  Even told my wife to forget all about it.

 

It has been a few weeks and the tension at home is really tight.

 

What should I do? Should I confront him?

 

Feeling shitty thinking about this issue.

 

Having a new and big house doesn’t mean happiness is guaranteed. Dang!

 

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Need some advice.

 

Just moved in to my new house for a few months already.. Brought in my parents in law + bro in law to live together as they do not have a place of their own.

 

To cut story short.

 

My wife experienced a very bad encounter with his father. I will not list them all but a few only

 

 

 

parent in law + bro in law mean your wife's father and brother??

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(edited)

So which father? 

regardless i will kick the perpetrator out, or at least give an ultimatum that that's what will happen should he step out of line again. It's your house le, you is boss. 

Edited by Mockngbrd
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Supercharged

before she got married and moved out, she didn't have such similar experience with her own father?

 

anyway, nothing difficult here.  for me I would play the bad guy and ask the in-laws to move out.  small price to pay for helping own wife .

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Supersonic

 

 

My wife experienced a very bad encounter with his father.

 

Can be clearer?

 

Whose father is this?

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The TS's he/she all messed up.

 

But agree with @Lala81, need to rule out early signs of dementia if it is really her own father whom she had known all her life. The recent subtle change in behaviour could be the red flags.

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Can be clearer?

 

Whose father is this?

 

 

not trying to be funny, it is important to know whose father. If he is the wife's father, then why is she behaving like he is a stranger trying to tiko her?? 

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The TS's he/she all messed up.

 

But agree with @Lala81, need to rule out early signs of dementia if it is really her own father whom she had known all her life. The recent subtle change in behaviour could be the red flags.

 

 

sounds like HER father.  Yes, I wonder if these demented changes are coming up

 

Also, how was it when she was young?  

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not trying to be funny, it is important to know whose father. If he is the wife's father, then why is she behaving like he is a stranger trying to tiko her?? 

 

not trying to be funny, it is important to know whose father. If he is the wife's father, then why is she behaving like he is a stranger trying to tiko her?? 

 

 

All this while she could have stayed away from the father and all these may not have been shown but now that they are under the same roof, hmmmmmmmmm

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(edited)

Ask your wife to read this... see if any of the symptoms are congruent:

 

 

 

Signs and symptoms of dementia

Dementia is a collection of symptoms including memory loss, personality change, and impaired intellectual functions resulting from disease or trauma to the brain. These changes are not part of normal aging and are severe enough to impact daily living, independence, and relationships. While Alzheimer’s disease is the most common type of dementia, there are also many other forms, including vascular and mixed dementia.

With dementia, there will likely be noticeable decline in communication, learning, remembering, and problem solving. These changes may occur quickly or very slowly over time.

The progression and outcome of dementia vary, but are largely determined by the type of dementia and which area of the brain is affected. Diagnosis is possible through advanced brain imaging, clinical examinations, and diagnostic testing.

Common signs and symptoms of dementia
  • Memory loss
  • Impaired judgment
  • Difficulties with abstract thinking
  • Faulty reasoning
  • Inappropriate behavior
  • Loss of communication skills
  • Disorientation to time and place
  • Gait, motor, and balance problems
  • Neglect of personal care and safety
  • Hallucinations, paranoia, agitation

You might observe that a person with dementia:
  • repeatedly asks the same questions
  • becomes lost or disoriented in familiar places
  • is unable to follow directions
  • is disoriented as to the date or time of day
  • does not recognize and is confused about familiar people
  • has difficulty with routine tasks such as paying the bills
  • neglects personal safety, hygiene, and nutrition

Note: he need not satisfy all the listed symptoms. Just some of them will be enough to make a reasonable suspicion to the diagnosis.

 

Read more at this link: http://www.helpguide.org/articles/alzheimers-dementia/understanding-dementia.htm

 

Edited by Vratenza
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Yah sorry. HER father. [smash]

 

 

see if she recollects ANY such behavior when she was young.  Could have manifested, but she may not have been privy to it then

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Turbocharged

Biological father or step father?

 

The wife should know her own biological father better, step father is another story all together.

 

The fact that the in laws did not have a place of their own spell unusual trouble,  maybe the father was always an issue in the family.

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Anyway don't think He has dementia. Currently he is driving Uber/Grab.

 

 

another question is why the parents do not have a house on their own?

 

Did she ask for your permission to have her parents staying with you (or why she agree to let them stay)?

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