Things to do to keep the marriage exciting and healthy?

[Jman888]

Of late I have sort of ran out of things to do with my wife. Besides the usual groceries purchase, attending church, and little shopping we basically do nothing new as a couple. and recently she's busy so i have been hanging out with my colleagues after work and it involves colleague... and i have to remind myself i am married...

 

 

i surprised wife with mcdelivery breakfast last week... but received mixed reception. She told me she preferred big breakfast instead of pancakes and commented that it is expensive with delivery charge and asked me y don't eat with her at mcdonalds instead.... but eventually she still thanked me for the breakfast.

 

this is the 4th year with her liao .. what couple stuff do u guys usually do? i want to fall over for her again...

 

first of all, u need to understand there are 'ups' & 'downs' in marriage for almost all couple, so dun worry. If you guys are young, you most likely focusing on career before kids arrive. Since you have more time to spare, go read up some books or attend seminar if you really interested in 'managing' your marriage.

[Lab4games]

how come so many bros suggest to have kid to make the sparks work again? Kid is both a bundle of joy and a huge load of baggage. I wouldn't want to fall into the situation where we are still together in the marriage because of the kid. I still do not want a kid, i want to enjoy the couple only lifestyle.. DINK is good! i married young and m still young now:)

 

i am not bored without her, i am more like looking ways to help find back a spark to rekindle the love which sadly is dwindling. I don't know about how she feels about our love, cos we are still pretty much together and i know she's not having an affair.

 

 

 

 

[Lab4games]

Yes I agree with u going for a tour helps.

 

Maybe try out something special once in a while, bring her on suprise dates eg going for midnight movie or just going to some cafe just to chill.

 

If u wanna feel young can bring her to arab street smoke shisha and see fire dances hahaha

 

how does shisha smell/taste like? i am non-smoker and never like the smell of smoking... but if shisha is totally harmless, i will try with her..

[Lab4games]

try asking your frens to call you between 9pm to 12pm.

dont talk openly in the living room

 

secretively run to the toilet to talk

 

or ask them to msg you at these timings also.

read then delete the msg so that yr boh cannot chk your hp.

put in a password lock on yr hp also

 

scenario 1.

- your boh will return back to you automatically.

- she will be sweeter than sweet to you

 

if scenario 1 doesn't happen, go to scenario 2 - hire a PI to see if someone else is bonking yr boh

 

else scenario 3... standby to change wife

 

But Hor !! gentle reminder ... DONT TURN THE WAYANG WITH INTO REAL ACTION OK ?

 

pretty much done all the above liao. collick even call and msg me out of the blue at 2am/3am. Wife also starts to notice i am sms-ing more now at all hours. but seems like she trusts me and never ask to see any of the msg. i openly flirt with collick cos she's pretty pleasing to my eyes. and she's quite touchy sometimes la that's y i got to remind myself i am married.

 

whatever i am doing in office with collick stays that way and wife is still wife after all. I still want to go home at the end of the day to b with my wife. I yearn for more attention from wife..i still know only wife will stand by me not some random

 

i will date wife out once she's free for a good talk. thanks for alll the suggestions to find back the spark.

[Hishercar]

She was with me in UOB management trainee batch. We learnt together.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Yoga turned her life around

 

She was a driven yuppie with a fervour for the good life - until her three-year marriage fell apart and her six-year business folded.

 

Sat, Apr 04, 2009

The Straits Times

 

Before Ms Anthea Ong discovered yoga in 2006, she was a driven yuppie juggling the demands of her job, husband and fervour for the good life.

 

The 40-year-old said: 'I was very career-minded.'

 

Then her marriage of three years to her American husband fell apart. Soon after, the education technology business she founded and ran for six years also wound up.

 

Distraught, she plunged into workshops and conferences teaching positive thinking and feminism, and visited healing centres, tarot card readers and religious institutions. ( i went thru the same thing too)

 

She said: 'I was trying to understand why something I thought would last forever didn't. I wanted to find another way of looking at life.'

 

Then she attended a beginner's class in Ashtanga yoga at the Ananda Marga Yoga Society of Singapore in Parkway Centre. Lessons focused on breathing and the meditative aspects of yoga.

 

Dada Shankarsanananda, a trainer at Ananda, said: 'Yoga without meditation is like fish without water.'

 

Ms Ong, who is the managing director of a business consultancy firm, recalled: 'When I first started, I had a broken heart and was nursing immense and severe emotional pain.

 

'I felt good after that first lesson as I had to focus on the breathing and postures so my pain had no place for those two hours. I was calmed in a very deeply soothing way.

 

'When you've cried your heart out, it's a wonderful feeling to know there is another way to cope with these all-consuming emotions.'

 

Now she goes to the gym three times a week and recently picked up inline skating. She wakes up every day at 6am to practise yoga and meditate.

 

She returns to Ananda every Tuesday for a review session.

 

'Yoga taught me to stop sweating the small stuff. I'm thankful for how it has awakened a part of me and made me a better person. It's still a learning process but I do feel more centred and I now have the tools to handle any challenges that may come my way,' she said.

 

Yoga even helped her give up smoking and to find joy in helping others.

 

For her 40th birthday, she organised a party which raised funds for Very Special Arts, a charity for people with disabilities. She got her friends to buy the charity's artwork instead of showering presents on her.

 

She is also an adviser at youth charity Youth Challenge.

 

She said: 'I'm glad things happened the way they did. If not, I'd still be living my life the way I did.

 

'I feel so grateful (for having found yoga) because I came out feeling happy for who and where I am. I lost everything to gain everything.'

 

 

 

[Loneranger]

Of late I have sort of ran out of things to do with my wife. Besides the usual groceries purchase, attending church, and little shopping we basically do nothing new as a couple. and recently she's busy so i have been hanging out with my colleagues after work and it involves colleague... and i have to remind myself i am married...

 

 

i surprised wife with mcdelivery breakfast last week... but received mixed reception. She told me she preferred big breakfast instead of pancakes and commented that it is expensive with delivery charge and asked me y don't eat with her at mcdonalds instead.... but eventually she still thanked me for the breakfast.

 

this is the 4th year with her liao .. what couple stuff do u guys usually do? i want to fall over for her again...

 

 

That's what happen when you love your wife more than she love you. Don't try too hard, it takes two to clap.

 

[Watwheels]

I think no point when only you are putting in effort to make the relationship work. Busy at work is to me is an excuse. Spending some time to pay attention to your partner dun need big effort. It's just a matter of whether a person wants to do it or not.

 

Both of you need to do something that requires bonding, the default choice is to have a baby like many here suggested cos both of you will be focused on one thing and one thing only.

 

Entertainment can only last short term and not fulfilling. Having a child will bond the family together.

 

I think I can work for govt liao.

[Lab4games]

must defend her abit..

she's busy with part time degree and work.

 

3 nights she's in school....

weekend she will be busy rushing assignments.

basically left me alot of time to do my own things. Even if i find a mistress outside also can...

 

evenings when she's free we go out for dinner and back home.

weekend when she's not rushing for assignments we just go out walk walk, don't find it very exciting..

[Limhm]

Start a family bro! That's a sure way of bonding, rebonding or whatever you call it . . . .

 

GOOD　LUCK!

 

I totally agree...

 

To TS, give u n ur wife a chance to learn to take care of ur ur own little ones...Ur wife might not know how to take care of cats n dogs, like me...but when talk abt our kids, it's different story.

 

Felt my hb n I had many things to talk abt out children...when we go dating every mth without our kids, our conversation nvr fail to mention abt our boys, our views , our goal......

 

N oso aim to hav 2 kids cos 1 kid only make u abit busy...but 2 kids will make u crazy....hahahah....tat's e fun n joy le.

Edited April 5, 2009 by Limhm

[Hishercar]

marriage is a partnership in life just like a "business"

 

at any time , no person can be angry at the same time and similarly no two persons are extermely busy

 

i dont know how old you are but from what you say it seems like your wife is trying to make a career for herself

 

to begin you may want to be more interested in what she is doing and offer to help BUT DONT expect anything in return because it can turn people off

 

sometimes when one is so busy, a small breathing space may be good

 

if both of you trust each other and believe this marriage is forever

 

then there is plenty of time for both of you to enjoy each other's company

 

perhaps you can clubs to keep yourself entertained and upgrade yourself too

 

 

 

[Redplanet]

must defend her abit..

she's busy with part time degree and work.

 

3 nights she's in school....

weekend she will be busy rushing assignments.

basically left me alot of time to do my own things. Even if i find a mistress outside also can...

 

evenings when she's free we go out for dinner and back home.

weekend when she's not rushing for assignments we just go out walk walk, don't find it very exciting..

 

You seem to be the one dissatisfied with the current situation, cos your wife's time is already tight on schedule. It does not mean that she has changed or that her love for you has diminished. It's just that at certain points in our lives different priorities show up in a relationship.

 

So, while she is busy improving herself, no doubt for the future of your family, perhaps you can also try to pick up some new skills or hobbies to make your time worthwhile.

 

This is just a phase...things will work themselves out. Never give up!

 

My 2 cents...

[Comnao]

good luck !!

 

but always be mentally prepared for the worst

but sometimes... it may be just a case of over-devotion to work and obsession with that next promotion

 

i am self employed so i have a lot of free time on my hands

yes, i am chauffer + gardener + bell boy + errand boy + dog walker

 

i only tell myself : i am confident. bcos i am the one making more $.

she is working hard to provide us a safety net ... just in case my business fails.

we are all working for this family and we are one. Period.

 

yes, there were also temptations from SYTs from the business associates.

Even my own receptionist looks pretty good.

Just tell yourself : 1 blow (*job) and it is ALL gone

 

hope it all works out for you.

[Comnao]

must defend her abit..

she's busy with part time degree and work.

 

3 nights she's in school....

weekend she will be busy rushing assignments.

basically left me alot of time to do my own things. Even if i find a mistress outside also can...

 

evenings when she's free we go out for dinner and back home.

weekend when she's not rushing for assignments we just go out walk walk, don't find it very exciting..

 

i was reading your posts FIFO

basically i think you deserve 1 tight slap

 

your wife is there slogging her S off for her degree and there you are thinking of a lame excuse to go for ECA

 

the problem doesnt lie w your wife. its YOU

 

i also did a PT degree previously.

i also neglected my family, my business and my health.

it is not easy coping with work, school and business... Not easy is a understatement

it is Farking Shiong. i lost 10kg over that 2years in NUS

there were times when i fell asleep when driving or had not seen my wife face for 2 days

 

yet my wife stood by me thru thick, thin and thru it all

 

she even gave up 1 promotion to give more time to hold up the family in my absence.

Now is my payback time.

[Thug]

Of late I have sort of ran out of things to do with my wife. Besides the usual groceries purchase, attending church, and little shopping we basically do nothing new as a couple. and recently she's busy so i have been hanging out with my colleagues after work and it involves colleague... and i have to remind myself i am married...

 

 

i surprised wife with mcdelivery breakfast last week... but received mixed reception. She told me she preferred big breakfast instead of pancakes and commented that it is expensive with delivery charge and asked me y don't eat with her at mcdonalds instead.... but eventually she still thanked me for the breakfast.

 

this is the 4th year with her liao .. what couple stuff do u guys usually do? i want to fall over for her again...

 

After hot of heels for someone its the bonding period.

Everyday you and ur wife are building up the bond between u 2.

Ever said something briefly and immediately ur wife understands what u say?

 

Thats bond...

[Lab4games]

No i am not doing ECA outside la. i have never sleep with anyone except my wife after marriage. I also did think if i am the one who has the problem.

 

this is her last sem in PT degree. 1 more month and she's done.

for the last 2.5yrs, we were much better. she's more loving and patient.. this time round, it's diff with her.

for starters her mood swings are so bad.

 

like now she just threw a temper at me...just because i told her to share the fan as she moved it just for herself.. i mean that's what i get after she just came home? hmm..

 

i got my degree, no doubt it's not easy getting a degree but one has to balance everything. i did my part to entertain her, amuse her, talk to her, motivate her all the while. i may not be the best husband but not a lousy one either.

 

for the past 3 months, there's a lot of nonsense argument, black face, quarrel over very small little things. probably she's too stress then... but also don't have to take it out on me.

 

both of us should have a lot of pent up frustrations

 

i was reading your posts FIFO

basically i think you deserve 1 tight slap

 

your wife is there slogging her S off for her degree and there you are thinking of a lame excuse to go for ECA

 

the problem doesnt lie w your wife. its YOU

 

i also did a PT degree previously.

i also neglected my family, my business and my health.

it is not easy coping with work, school and business... Not easy is a understatement

it is Farking Shiong. i lost 10kg over that 2years in NUS

there were times when i fell asleep when driving or had not seen my wife face for 2 days

 

yet my wife stood by me thru thick, thin and thru it all

 

she even gave up 1 promotion to give more time to hold up the family in my absence.

Now is my payback time.

 

[Hiphiphoray]

you are lucky you are still at this stage

 

DINK

 

go for frequent tours, massage.....

 

once the kids time, the next time you yearn for this life is 12 years after the kid is borned

 

Ya boy. I second that.

 

TS should seriously start thinking abt kids. Cos kids takes a hell of a longggggggggg time to grow up.

 

Anyway, everyday u see me i see u.....of course sianz rah! Why not TS have a few kids instead. Open up a new chapter in thier life. They will see that life is a lot more meangingfull and purposefull.

Edited April 5, 2009 by Hiphiphoray

[Lab4games]

After hot of heels for someone its the bonding period.

Everyday you and ur wife are building up the bond between u 2.

Ever said something briefly and immediately ur wife understands what u say?

 

Thats bond...

 

 

yes we used to always blurt out the same phrases when talking....and we will laugh it off.

now can chit chat very happy liao as long as don't become an argument.

[Lab4games]

Ya boy. I second that.

 

TS should seriously start thinking abt kids. Cos kids takes a hell of a longggggggggg time to grow up.

 

Anyway, everyday u see me i see u.....of course sianz rah! Why not TS have a few kids instead. Open up a new chapter in thier life. They will see that life is a lot more meangingfull and purposefull.

 

what if end up i have to take care of the kid most of the time? this already happened to the dog.

 

now that she's near completion of her degree, she already started thinking what to do, what to learn after degree...

 

i have my own things to do, i am happy spending time with the dog, i have clients to meet in the evening. i am pretty self-entertained when wife is not around.

 

ok in short, i want to rekindle the love..i want her to feel my love, and i want to feel her love.

i know it can be done because we r still sleeping together. marriage is not on the rocks yet.

Edited April 5, 2009 by Lab4games