A Bigger Wedding is Not Always Better

[Mustank]

'Bigger is not always better'

Singapore - Wedding planners said it is common for couples to try to outdo each other.

Ms Maria Jaffar, owner of MJ Wedding, said couples even take loans to hold grand ceremonies.

Some struggle later to repay their debts.

Ms Maria has been in the industry for more than 10 years and organises weddings almost every weekend - except during the fasting month.

She said that even though most of her clients promptly settle their payments, about five every year fail to do so.

She said: "Some still owe me money after the wedding and they would come up with all kinds of excuses not to pay me.

"I still wish them all the best and will not pursue them any further for their payment. Every year, I write off more than $10,000 in bad debts."

Ms Mimie Addam, who owns Tamara Bridal, insists that couples settle all their payments one week before their wedding day.

Ms Mimie, who is in her 40s and has been running her company for seven years, advises couples to save before their big day and spend within their means.

She said: "I've arranged ceremonies that cost as low as $6,000 and I've also helped plan some that cost about $50,000."

Ms Maria said: "I have this advice for couples - be prepared to make heavy losses when you hold a wedding.

"There is no way you can recuperate your expenses from your wedding 'hongbao'."

 

 

 

 

 

Wedding loans taken by Malay couples contributing to divorce rates

by Shaffiq Alkhatib

Singapore - It took him three years to save $10,000 for his wedding ceremony in 2007.

But his final bill was $25,500.

Then, for more than two years, Hafiz (not his real name) tried to settle the debt, using his $2,500 monthly salary.

The technician's parents eventually had to help him with his payments.

Financial troubles, like Hafiz's, have contributed to a breakdown of marriages in the Malay-Muslim community.

That troubled the Government enough for the Ministry of Social and Family Development to revamp a marriage preparation course for the community.

Last month, Dr Yaacob Ibrahim, Minister- in-charge of Muslim Affairs, said the course will include financial planning.

Hafiz, 36, wished he had someone to check with before going ahead with his grand wedding.

He said he wanted to make his wife happy.

He said: "Before our wedding, she went to a few of our friends' to get some ideas.

"She told me that she wanted ours to be bigger and grander than the others.

And I agreed with her out of love."

But he couldn't pay. So he had to take a bank loan of $10,000. Then he borrowed about $5,000 more from his relatives to hold the wedding at the void deck of his flat in Tampines.

He said with a chuckle: "Malays say that to be a bridegroom is similar to being a king for a day.

"But apparently, for me, being a 'king' turned out to be a very expensive affair."

Mr Hafiz said his sales assistant wife earns about $1,500 a month.

Pricey

The decoration at his wedding alone cost him thousands of dollars.

He recalled that for his wedding, the ceiling and pillars of the void deck were covered with fabric.

Coloured cloth was also used to cover the chairs and tables, which were topped with fresh flowers.

"The void deck looked like a hotel function room. It was very beautiful.

But it cost me close to $10,000 just for the decoration alone.

"In the end, my parents, who just received their CPF payouts, had to help me pay off my wedding debts," he said.

Hafiz has a 30-year-old sister who is single.

"She has a fiance and they intend to get married soon. But they told me that they will try to make their ceremony as simple as possible.

"My sister and her husband-to-be said that they will just have a small gathering for the 'akad nikah' (solemnisation), and that's it. Maybe that's a good idea after all I've been through," he said with a laugh.

Now that his debts are out of the way, he intends to start a family with his wife and buy a flat together.

Said Hafiz: "I don't have to worry about my debts any more and can move forward with my married life.

"Perhaps my wife and I should have thought things over before we went all out for our wedding."

Help with managing finances

Cinta Abadi (Malay for Eternal Love), the Ministry of Social and Family Development-run course for the Malay-Muslim community, is targeting more than 2,000 soon-to-wed couples each year.

Financial education will be an integral part of the course, The Straits Times reported.

In announcing the course, Dr Yaacob Ibrahim, Minister-in- charge of Muslim Affairs, said young Muslim families need to better understand the importance of help with managing finances managing their finances.

Dr Yaacob had said that it is important for couples to live within their means.

"It's nice that you're falling in love and having a family, but ultimately you need to deal with the finances," he said.

please spend within your means!!

excercise financial prudence!!

dont borrow!! save up and pay cash!!!

[Picnic06-Biante15]

 

'Bigger is not always better'

 

 

'Bigger' always enjoy more company ...

[Altivo]

U mean their guest dont give ang paos meh?

 

For my wedding banquet, the dinner was $31k. After being offset by the ang pao, I had nett profit of $600! hahaha.

 

[Jman888]

U mean their guest dont give ang paos meh?

 

For my wedding banquet, the dinner was $31k. After being offset by the ang pao, I had nett profit of $600! hahaha.

 

Malay wedding guest give $20, Chinese wedding guest give $200, of course make money lah

[1fast1]

U mean their guest dont give ang paos meh?

 

For my wedding banquet, the dinner was $31k. After being offset by the ang pao, I had nett profit of $600! hahaha.

 

 

From what I know of Malay weddings, the ang paos are usually quite small. It's basically a token amount. But they're always accepted very graciously.

 

For the Chinese weddings I've attended, there's a suggested or "recommended" amount, which I usually determine after discussion with Chinese friends.

[Little_prince]

U mean their guest dont give ang paos meh?

 

For my wedding banquet, the dinner was $31k. After being offset by the ang pao, I had nett profit of $600! hahaha.

 

 

yeah. i had 2 weddings dinner in fact. and overall 50 tables still can break even. chinese dinner usually wont lose money. only issue is the cash up front lor.

[Darryn]

 

yeah. i had 2 weddings dinner in fact. and overall 50 tables still can break even. chinese dinner usually wont lose money. only issue is the cash up front lor.

 

For the last one I saw - groom pay, but bride family take the bulk of the ang pao. So yeah, loss was made.

 

 

FWIW - when wifey and I do our banquet - red packet will be banned. We are inviting friends to celebrate with us, not to pay for a party

[Carnoob]

U mean their guest dont give ang paos meh?

 

For my wedding banquet, the dinner was $31k. After being offset by the ang pao, I had nett profit of $600! hahaha.

 

 

Err actually only Chinese give ang bao, I had many Malay colleagues, they mentioned they some times received gifts only not money. They would still have to accept graciously.

[Altivo]

Arh I see. I guess the customs are different then.

 

Yes, for chinese wedding dinners, most people will just increase the limit of their credit cards. Then pay the bank with ang pao $ when the statement comes.

 

yeah. i had 2 weddings dinner in fact. and overall 50 tables still can break even. chinese dinner usually wont lose money. only issue is the cash up front lor.

 

Wah seh! Over 50 tables? U held your wedding where? National Stadium? Hahaha

 

Mine was 45 tables. Just the phototaking alone is already a killer!

[Icedbs]

U mean their guest dont give ang paos meh?

 

For my wedding banquet, the dinner was $31k. After being offset by the ang pao, I had nett profit of $600! hahaha.

 

 

Bro, when was your wedding?

 

 

Per table is very expensive thesedays, but most guest still pay ang pow like it's still 10 years ago.Table price goes up way faster than ang pow money.

 

 

Very seldom people make money thesedays unless they have really rich relatives.

Edited October 31, 2013 by Icedbs

[Altivo]

 

Bro, when was your wedding?

 

 

Per table is very expensive thesedays, but most guest still pay ang pow like it's still 10 years ago.Table price goes up way faster than ang pow money.

 

 

Very seldom people make money thesedays unless they have really rich relatives.

 

U have a point too.

 

My wedding was 7 yrs ago. For me, I very fair one. When people invite me for wedding, I will check what's the cost per table. Then pao extra $20. If good friends, extra $68-88.

[Icedbs]

 

U have a point too.

 

My wedding was 7 yrs ago. For me, I very fair one. When people invite me for wedding, I will check what's the cost per table. Then pao extra $20. If good friends, extra $68-88.

 

I normally do that too,

 

I realised many people still like to give $80 or $88. The table alone thesedays, even at some 4 star hotel are already 4 figure.......give $88 sure the couple will lose big time.

 

10 years back 800-900 per table is already a big thing, thesedays easily 1400-$1500 a table for the same class.

[Datsun366]

me thinks that why couple getting married? Why banquet?

 

I believe universal deliberations needed.

 

so if persist with usual 'driving' maneuvers, no wonder lawyers happy.

 

compare and contrast cultures are not relevant.

 

why partnership, what level of commitment, Sampan holed must fix and ride wave together, abandon ship... What are the ties that bind?

 

the heart must work with the brain.

[Chickenfarm]

Mine was only 15 tables at Oriental Hotel in the year 2000.

 

Quite a windfall for me as my uncles all came with $1000 ang pows

 

Next day made cash paymentto the hotel, pay back my mum $5000 that she gave to me ex-gratia and still got remaninder left.

 

Have to thank all my relatives as they know farmer had it tough

[JackRabbit]

 

For the last one I saw - groom pay, but bride family take the bulk of the ang pao. So yeah, loss was made.

 

 

FWIW - when wifey and I do our banquet - red packet will be banned. We are inviting friends to celebrate with us, not to pay for a party

 

 

what do you mean? Aren't you married yet?

[Poohbor]

 

For the last one I saw - groom pay, but bride family take the bulk of the ang pao. So yeah, loss was made.

 

 

FWIW - when wifey and I do our banquet - red packet will be banned. We are inviting friends to celebrate with us, not to pay for a party

 

For fark sake do set aside your White man supremacist sentiments and get down to understand a cultural practice in its true sense.

 

You haven't seen the big snake pung sai yet!!

 

Go farking find out what the true sense of the ang pao giving before you go on with your pre-world war snob and hit ppl below their belts.

 

KNN I junk you 5!

[Darryn]

 

 

what do you mean? Aren't you married yet?

 

Married - but no banquet yet

 

I know I'm out of step here, and that it's very much a custom as to the banquet and angpao etc - so please don't flame me over. Just take it as a "cultural difference".

 

The idea of Ang Pao is one custom I've never liked - I find it rather commercial and not so nice. While I guess ultimately its the same purpose as a wedding gift (normally a household item) that is the custom at an ang mo wedding (to help the new family set up house) I just think the idea of paying to celebrate someones wedding a bit crass.

 

Don't really like the banquet either. Would prefer a buffet with music and dancing / partying as it gives people more time to interact and chat and "celebrate" the marriage.

 

For fark sake do set aside your White man supremacist sentiments and get down to understand a cultural practice in its true sense.

 

You haven't seen the big snake pung sai yet!!

 

Go farking find out what the true sense of the ang pao giving before you go on with your pre-world war snob and hit ppl below their belts.

 

KNN I junk you 5!

 

Please see my post below - the customs I grew up with are different to the customs you grew up with. Not neccessarily that one is better than the other.

 

That's why at MY banquet (note I didn't ask you to celebrate the same way) I will do things the way that I am comfortable with.

 

You celebrate how you are comfortable - and if I come to you banquet I will participate in the best spirit of the custom and tradition. Fair?

[Poohbor]

To be honest, nobody really gigve a fark to what you do like or not like about our customs.

 

If there is so many things here that you don't like, please feel free to go back to where you were from!