Cutting ties with parents

[Yusld]

The topic sounds unfilial but tolerance hit my limit. Not gonna type millions of words but my parents is too much, hit my nerves and I decide to end ties with them. Demanding for money, insulting and nothing can save this relationship any more. Even my hubby told me, just ignore them, no need to do anything but as far as my concern, I will want to cut off with them legally.

 

 

any friends have any advise? No flaming please , I labeled myself " unfilial " then............ Let me know the procedure, anyone?Thanks

Edited April 26, 2014 by Yusld

[Loki]

I don't think there is any way to legally "disown" your parents. If you really have to, just make sure your CPF nomination is updated, do up a will to exclude them etc. but dunno whether you can disown them legally.

[Babyckh]

The topic sounds unfilial but tolerance hit my limit. Not gonna type millions of words but my parents is too much, hit my nerves and I decide to end ties with them. Demanding for money, insulting and nothing can save this relationship any more. Even my hubby told me, just ignore them, no need to do anything but as far as my concern, I will want to cut off with them legally.

 

 

any friends have any advise? No flaming please , I labeled myself " unfilial " then............ Let me know the procedure, anyone?Thanks

 

It is extremely disturbing for you to have this thought. You must be damn pretty pissed off by them to think this way...Listen to your husband's advice, there may be alot of mis-understanding between you and your parents...reason with them, talk to them should be the wise way to deal with it. Moreover you are talking about disowning both your parents, not 1.

 

Anyway, you can refer to this thread for further action if you had think hard and clear,

 

Either way, please consider very carefully.

 

http://forums.animesuki.com/showthread.php?t=4837&page=183

[Gitanic]

The topic sounds unfilial but tolerance hit my limit. Not gonna type millions of words but my parents is too much, hit my nerves and I decide to end ties with them. Demanding for money, insulting and nothing can save this relationship any more. Even my hubby told me, just ignore them, no need to do anything but as far as my concern, I will want to cut off with them legally.

 

 

any friends have any advise? No flaming please , I labeled myself " unfilial " then............ Let me know the procedure, anyone?Thanks

how old are your parents?

 

before anything make sure it's not because of old people's illnesses.

 

google for old people's illnesses.

 

i have the impression that you are quite well off.

 

that everything else fails, can still sent them to nursing home.

 

but yes, i have come across some parents who were totally impossible as a human being.....

[Watwheels]

I think you should give each other time out to cool it off before deciding what to do. When ppl are angry they do rash things.

 

Cut ties or not they are still your parents who brought you up. You can run but you can't hide this fact.

 

I know it can be difficult coz all the while is they talk and you listen. They still look at you as a child believe it or not. When you talk they won't listen. Be patient. It takes time for them to adapt. You can prove to them they are not always right. Use action. Dun fight or get into an argument. I know fights can't really be totally avoided but do not take it at heart.

[Ktglfc]

TS, possible to cool down first?

What have your parents done to make you want to cut the ties? Irreversible situations?

 

If after serous considerations after you have cooled down, and you still want to proceed, maybe you may want to go meet family councillor first. And then, arrange a lawyer to settle the papers.

 

But, pls do consider again.

Your parents are atill your parents, and they have give birth and raised you up to where you are now...

[Tigerwoods]

Base on your points I believe you may have parents who are into due to gambling and other avenue of vices that they can't get out or too sucked into them and constantly wanting your money to feed their bondage.

If this the case, you may want to seek help from some Org that can deal with such issues to help them kick the habit.

Don't ever think of disowning them or leaving them out of your sight.. They need more of your help than you think...

[PSP415]

U can take out an adv in local newspaper to announce that henceforth you are no longer associated with both of them and you will not be liable for any debts or matters relating to them.

 

Then u need to go to a lawyer to disown them legally.

 

Can share, not in a million words, whether they have sold your birthrights or in any way abused or ill treated you since young?

 

Every family guaranteed to have own troubles and bad sheep. To take this step is very very very serious, not just about being termed unfilial but rather, will you be unconsciously be telling your kids that it's ok to do the same to you when you become in their eyes "troublesome"?

 

At the end of the day, can you live with your own conscience and are sure it's not a decision made in a moment of despair and super long pent up frustration?

 

It's your life and they are your parents. Their flesh and blood made you...... do give it serious thought when you are in a calmer and less frustrated period of your life.... You may be surprised at how the situation may not look as bad then.

 

Hope you have wisdom and patience from above to guide you.

 

Safe ride

Cheers

[Kingkong]

Did they kidnapped your kids to extort $$ from you?

[Hamburger]

go for a group counselling as a family. Find it sceptical? Trust me you would emerge from it with a different perspective.

 

worst of it all, what you got to lose by going.

 

PM me if you are unsure whom or which organisation to approach.

 

I wish you well......

[Jman888]

if you need to sort out the relationship with your parents, I believe you know where to

go, just a matter how open are you.

 

I believe there is no law to disown, just print on all major newspaper in Singapore or even Malaysia (if there is any relative concern are staying there). If you dun wish them to disturb you, you can apply for court injunction for them to come close to you.

[Meanmachine]

By reading your post, it seems quite bad and you can't handle it,

 

My advise is almost the same as many here, there is no right or wrong, perhaps thy are in extreme circumstances and beyond repairs.

 

Old folks need more compassion and to a certain degree deserve assistance as we are their children, Pardon my ignorance it is worse than throwing them in old folks home and let them suffer.

 

Be forgiving as they gave birth to you in this earth, cutting ties is the last thing on anyone mind. Stay sober and be kind to human being, whatever it is ,or how bad they are treating you, , Accept them and ask for forgiveness that you have done whatever it takes to make them happy.

 

Your husband is correct to stay, at least leave them alone for now, but remain in contact. Be strong my fren.

 

Om Mani Pahme Om

[Xanavi]

Did they kidnapped your kids to extort $$ from you?

Was that a genuine question?????

[Yusld]

Thanks for all above comments...... it really helps a lot. I read it with tears. Let me single out and clarify a few things in here.

 

- I am average , not rich not poor.

- They are in late 60s. 3 more siblings staying with them. Well off, total income of three siblings adding up around 170k per annum.

- Tolerance is Zero now, what had happen? Money, Money and Money. Will parents Sue their kids? Not wanting to emphasize more on this. Touch my heart and say...................... Legally or Personally, I did no wrong. As why I am so upset and decide to call it a day..... ????? They hurting me , I feel no longer have love from this kinship.

- I don't really know how to express to the extreme, but, I am lost! I just wana have a peaceful life with my husband and kids.

 

 

Any suggestions?

[Toothiewabbit]

There is a reason why we dun get to choose our parents.

 

Think carefully....this will come back to haunt you.

[Little_prince]

Thanks for all above comments...... it really helps a lot. I read it with tears. Let me single out and clarify a few things in here.

 

- I am average , not rich not poor.

- They are in late 60s. 3 more siblings staying with them. Well off, total income of three siblings adding up around 170k per annum.

- Tolerance is Zero now, what had happen? Money, Money and Money. Will parents Sue their kids? Not wanting to emphasize more on this. Touch my heart and say...................... Legally or Personally, I did no wrong. As why I am so upset and decide to call it a day..... ????? They hurting me , I feel no longer have love from this kinship.

- I don't really know how to express to the extreme, but, I am lost! I just wana have a peaceful life with my husband and kids.

 

 

Any suggestions?

just one parents or both? usually one will act as a balancing factor in the relationship.

 

any example of how they are such bad parents that u would resort to disowning them?

 

just a word of advice. quarrelling with parents is one thing. but disowning them would make things irreconcilable. .. so pls bear it in mind before doing anything rash

[Kingkong]

Was that a genuine question?????

Then, can you think of a good reason why TS needs to cut all ties with the persons who bring her to this earth?

[Yusld]

just one parents or both? usually one will act as a balancing factor in the relationship.

 

any example of how they are such bad parents that u would resort to disowning them?

 

just a word of advice. quarrelling with parents is one thing. but disowning them would make things irreconcilable. .. so pls bear it in mind before doing anything rash

 

One sing one clap........... One bad man one act as nice lady. The entire Drama is well directed.... Too bad I know their tricks.