My little suggestion - A parenting folder perhaps?

[Lala81]

That's the thing, I am unsure if I should attend the prenatal classes recommended by TMC, wife thinks its a waste of time as a plastic doll is different from a live baby.

I have absolutely no experience with babies, ya I find them cute, that's about it. Not the kind who loves to play with children for prolonged periods

 

The prenatal class is good for learning how to push during vaginal delivery. Also the TMC one by Wong Boi Boi, she will teach your wife how to do those prenatal exercises. And she usually explains what happens during pregnancy. So if you've no prior experience. It might be good.

She also teaches way to hold a baby to reduce colic. How to bathe a baby etc ...

[Toothiewabbit]

I can probably comment only when I reach there bro. I tend to get very short fused especially when I'm tired and woke up prematurely, guess that is one major thing i'm not looking foward to as well.

 

 

I can understand as I dun cope too well the following day after a night of interrupted sleep. I would be in sixs and sevens during the day in office.

 

I know it's easier said than done - its paramount to get the baby settled into routine as quickly as possible, taking all factors and circumstances into consideration. Some may disagree with this but I know from experience that a baby is like a blank piece of paper, ready to be composed by you from day 1.

 

The primary care-givers must tag-team well so that one can steal some rest/breather while the other care for the baby.

 

Happy fathering

[Mrmilktooth]

The best piece of advice I feel can give. If both parents to be are complete noobs to newborn care...

 

Is get a confinement lady to take care first month at least.

 

This way, mother can recuperate fully while learning all e tricks to tc of newborn.. the father can also learn everything..

 

Cos grandparents may not be familiar ..Cos they last touched newborn like 30years ago?

 

Unless some were nanny as part x job..

 

 

Least that's how my wife n I learned our skills..

[Little_prince]

 

Grandparents better than maids.

 

My in laws take care for the wkdays daytime when we working. They are the ones who spend most time with my girl.

So my girl's mother tongue is chinese. I have to try to speak to her more in English when I'm playing with her cos my wife also mostly speak mandarin.

Night my wife will bring her back to our house (i work late).

 

Yeah time is a quantity that can't be substituted. I'm going to be sole breadwinner soon. So as a father, it definitely sucks spending less time with your kids.

LL The only reassurance is that wife/in laws going to be taking care of them.

 

even with grandparents. i decided to get a maid.

 

at my parent's age, i don't want to over strain them.

 

just need them to over see the maid, and time to play with the kid nia.

[Little_prince]

 

Am thinking about something from Piaget, since I got our wedding bands there. Its not the value of the present I reckon, rather the effort me as a husband put in after our child is born right?

 

absolutely correct.

 

but sometimes, as men, we just wanna show our appreciation ro our wives for giving us something so precious right?

[Little_prince]

I had the same thinking as you on girls being more endearing etc.

Also cos I got no sisters, tend to prefer girls and I guess fathers tend to dote on daughters.

 

Fast forward years later, I don't have a son

so when watching sports, playing games etc, kinda miss not having a son to share the guys stuff.

 

Having said the above, agreed with some of you that most impt is having healthy children so boy or girl no diff but when I shout "Goal" in living room whilst watching EPL, no son to hi 5 with me abit sianz haha!!

 

孩子都是宝！

[Mrmilktooth]

I had the same thinking as you on girls being more endearing etc.

Also cos I got no sisters, tend to prefer girls and I guess fathers tend to dote on daughters.

 

Fast forward years later, I don't have a son

so when watching sports, playing games etc, kinda miss not having a son to share the guys stuff.

 

Having said the above, agreed with some of you that most impt is having healthy children so boy or girl no diff but when I shout "Goal" in living room whilst watching EPL, no son to hi 5 with me abit sianz haha!!

 

+1...

 

daughters are more "homely" usuallty than sons..

 

intially i hope for boy first then a girl... but again healthy baby is more important..

 

 

im going to buy a liverpool mini ball for her 1st birthday soon.. lol she will NOT support the enemy clubs in england..

 

for #2, i hope its a girl too ... then i no need buy too many new stuff...

 

but its hopeless, there are SOOOO many cute stuff for girls to wear ...... the moms and grandparents will just go crazy and buy everything.. unless i nag them to stop..

 

 

absolutely correct.

 

but sometimes, as men, we just wanna show our appreciation ro our wives for giving us something so precious right?

 

sometimes a hug and 3 simple words are good enough.. for me..

 

 

I appreciate my parents more after i became a father. Sad to need to be one to love your parents more, but it's true.

 

this one i totally agree... it takes a HERO to accknowledge another HERO!!..

 

 

jokes aside... i really feel moms are the toughest occupation in the world..

 

Everyone's birthday is the day their mom went into labour and bring them into the world!!

 

so im telling my mother i love her on my birthday every year...

[Mason016]

 

+1...

 

daughters are more "homely" usuallty than sons..

 

intially i hope for boy first then a girl... but again healthy baby is more important..

 

 

im going to buy a liverpool mini ball for her 1st birthday soon.. lol she will NOT support the enemy clubs in england..

 

for #2, i hope its a girl too ... then i no need buy too many new stuff...

 

but its hopeless, there are SOOOO many cute stuff for girls to wear ...... the moms and grandparents will just go crazy and buy everything.. unless i nag them to stop..

 

 

sometimes a hug and 3 simple words are good enough.. for me..

 

this one i totally agree... it takes a HERO to accknowledge another HERO!!..

 

 

jokes aside... i really feel moms are the toughest occupation in the world..

 

Everyone's birthday is the day their mom went into labour and bring them into the world!!

 

so im telling my mother i love her on my birthday every year...

 

Haha, my neighbor was trying to get his one year old kid to say "liverpool" while watching the game! Damned funny sia.

 

So if your girl marries a manure fan how??

[Mrmilktooth]

 

Haha, my neighbor was trying to get his one year old kid to say "liverpool" while watching the game! Damned funny sia.

 

So if your girl marries a manure fan how??

 

honestly all dads dont like their sons-in-law...

 

hahaha...

 

no boys who are manure fans can start bgr with my girl next time.. lol

[Jman888]

The best piece of advice I feel can give. If both parents to be are complete noobs to newborn care...

 

Is get a confinement lady to take care first month at least.

 

This way, mother can recuperate fully while learning all e tricks to tc of newborn.. the father can also learn everything..

 

Cos grandparents may not be familiar ..Cos they last touched newborn like 30years ago?

 

Unless some were nanny as part x job..

 

 

Least that's how my wife n I learned our skills..

 

 

if you hire a confinement lady from up north, let them do their job if you know they meant good, some of the way they handle babies may be a bit rough but it is part of conditioning process. many young parents may feel heart pain and stop or even fire the confinement lady for mistreating their kid.

[Little_prince]

 

honestly all dads dont like their sons-in-law...

 

hahaha...

 

no boys who are manure fans can start bgr with my girl next time.. lol

my thoughts too. lol

[Spring]

 

+1...

 

daughters are more "homely" usuallty than sons..

 

intially i hope for boy first then a girl... but again healthy baby is more important..

 

 

im going to buy a liverpool mini ball for her 1st birthday soon.. lol she will NOT support the enemy clubs in england..

 

for #2, i hope its a girl too ... then i no need buy too many new stuff...

 

but its hopeless, there are SOOOO many cute stuff for girls to wear ...... the moms and grandparents will just go crazy and buy everything.. unless i nag them to stop..

 

 

sometimes a hug and 3 simple words are good enough.. for me..

 

this one i totally agree... it takes a HERO to accknowledge another HERO!!..

 

 

jokes aside... i really feel moms are the toughest occupation in the world..

 

Everyone's birthday is the day their mom went into labour and bring them into the world!!

 

so im telling my mother i love her on my birthday every year...

Haven't tell you that I manage to psycho daughter and wife to follow my football passion as well.

Think I deserve a pat on the back for this haha!! So can be done as well but suppose it's not 100% same as with the boys but never mind better than nothing!

 

Yes well said on mothers. They have to be a wife, daughter, mother and worker all rolled into one. That's what I call multi-tasking!!

 

Have a good weekend but no EPL leh......

 

[Heartlander]

Now, Mod without doing anything, has already allow this thread to grow in a parents "forum" liao :))

 

Besides Car-related issues and other chit-chat issues, most of the Bros here are parents, so having a parents-related discussion would also be good :)

 

Perhaps just change the title of this thread to Parenting Discussion :))

Think they are still huddling to deliberate and try to come to some consensus lah. Be patient.

 

But not sure here allow "NGO" to exist or not. Maybe they scare everyone will lobby for some personal space if this group got their way like that? Machiam what happening to HK now, haha.

[Lala81]

@Icebrush79

Don't know if you read my reply to your earlier post about planning to leave with your father.

 

Here it is again...

 

My summary is that men just aren't very good at nuturing. In bringing up a kid, i would say women are the most important. The guys can do all the essentials but the extra touch is what makes women special. And women are much much more patient when it comes to nuturing the kids to speak or do things.

 

 

My advice is don't leave with your dad.

Men just don't have the patience/stamina to take a care of a baby for hours on end.

My friend is a good example. Leave with his father. A man just won't be able to develop a child's linguistic ability early on.
When the women teach the kid, you see the benefits of repeating yourself twenty thirty times in a row.

 

even with grandparents. i decided to get a maid.

 

at my parent's age, i don't want to over strain them.

 

just need them to over see the maid, and time to play with the kid nia.

 

my 2nd one coming. I also might want to get a maid. But they not very keen and since the maid is going to be at their place mostly. I decided to hold off for now. Hahaha let everyone suffer a bit first

Lol. i buy almost all my girl's clothes online. Carters, Gap (only when have sale)

80-90% of her clothes is chosen by me.

 

 

 

but its hopeless, there are SOOOO many cute stuff for girls to wear ...... the moms and grandparents will just go crazy and buy everything.. unless i nag them to stop..

 

Edited October 10, 2014 by Lala81

[Atrecord]

Parenting in SGP is tough, but has its own fun and rewards. It's impt to have good family or extended support. If both parents are working (as is usually the case now otherwise difficult to survive), then the best arrangement is for either the paternal or maternal grandparents to help look after. You know you can count on them to love and take care of your kids, unlike some of the horror maid news of ill-treating babies or kids...

 

Personal lives can cast aside when got baby. So for those who has active social lives before kids, will need major adjustment.

 

For us, we were lucky that wife and i were all along not too socially-active type, so it wasn't too drastic. My mother helped to look after my kids, one after another (19 mth apart), so that few years it was really tough for her I'm sure, as she was already in her mid-60s. We were staying in the same block (that was a calculated move when I got married), so we will bring the baby to my parents' place before going to work, then bring baby back to sleep at night, so that my mother can get some good rest. Weekends, we look after so my mother got more rest and maybe go out and live her life...

 

Even now, when kids are in pri sch, my folks help a lot. We are staying together now, and my dad who retired last year, helps to bring kids back from school.

 

My wife and i count ourselves lucky to have such support system in place.

 

For those starting family, the first 1.5-2 yr is the tough period, where constant attention is required. It's better to bite bullet and continue this by having 2nd (or more) kid around 2 yr later so you continue when you're used to the tougher (c.f. to before kids) routine. This way, can 'finish' earlier and relax back earlier...

 

By about 2, the toddler can play by himself/herself, so a bit easier, no need constant attention, hence can devote time to another newborn. Then when the younger one is about 2, and elder one ~4, start to relax liao - as they can play by themselves on their own and won't always look for you...

 

And be aware of this, fertility of both man and woman peaks early, maybe late teens, and goes downhill without looking back. This is the reason why it is far easier to conceive when young. The prob is everyone is busy with work in the earlier years, or want to enjoy first. Then when have enough fun and money, around mid/late 30s want to start family, it is not always easy. There are many cases of repeated tries, but no success. So population dwindle as not even enough for renewal, much less growth.

 

Results = govt open door to let in FTs… (but no, this is not what I want to say, since this is parenting - not political - related)

 

The real result to be felt decades later, is that there will be either not enough or no one to take care of us later on, when we age.

 

I feel the strain when my grandma is ill and i have 7 uncles/aunties (plus my dad). I worry when it comes to my folks as I only have one brother to share the load...

 

 

 

[Mrmilktooth]

my FIL never even help my MIL take care of their 2 girls. (1 whom is my wife)

 

so i have exceeded all expectations of my MIL when i basically can do everything to take care of my girl..

 

 

but honestly its much easier to have 2 adults to 1 baby.. least can take turn to rest, especially when they are getting more aware of their surroundings and they have boundless!!! energy..

 

and taking care of a newborn really shack out.. i can KO at 10pm.. when usually before that 12+ everyday no issue..

 

its better to start early.. but again just 2 cents

Edited October 10, 2014 by Mrmilktooth

[Ktglfc]

Haven't tell you that I manage to psycho daughter and wife to follow my football passion as well.

Think I deserve a pat on the back for this haha!! So can be done as well but suppose it's not 100% same as with the boys but never mind better than nothing!

 

Yes well said on mothers. They have to be a wife, daughter, mother and worker all rolled into one. That's what I call multi-tasking!!

 

Have a good weekend but no EPL leh......

 

 

I have yet to convince the kids to join me in watching football matches

ok lah, they are still young, and let them enjoy their childhood :))

play some app games and balance with some outdoor activities, like swimming and playing police and thieves at the playground :)

[Watwheels]

I think TS is first time parent. I can understand the excitement especially your first and still an infant. But once the infant becomes "terrible 2" as in 2yo, "horrible 3", "vomit blood 4", etc etc you will think and talk differently. LoL...

 

Right now I have a "vomit blood 4" and the other becoming a "terrible 2". To tell you the truth I'm exhausted. The best time I think it's when they are at infant stage, once they know how to talk, walk and run, it will become a nightmare. Now when I get home it's like watching live wrestling match between the two. The wailing and crying, knn buay tahan. This is fatherhood. Welcome to hell. LoL...

Edited October 10, 2014 by Watwheels