RadX Moderator October 25, 2016 Author Share October 25, 2016 indeed good that this thread brings MCFers closer amidst the COE, cash is king, full cash, property bla bla bla... MCF is about PEOPLE and we are humans at the end of the day and we connect through different means. Sometime down the path of life, we can make a difference and it is good that MCF has brought the likes of many of us here to even share these things that would seem taboo in the real connected world. Here, it is a place of solace to share and be amongst pals who resonate and can understand as well. Great work all and keep up the spirit that makes us stik with MCF @eviilusion its gd to let the emotions flow and as you regain the courage to face it, we are just a call away. Take care ↡ Advertisement 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Evillusion Supersonic October 25, 2016 Share October 25, 2016 in this case, wifey is practising 'ignorance is bliss'. However, she has to realsie that she has the responsibility to get herself treated IF she wants to. There is this concept called 'sanctioned deviance' where we give leeway for people who are deemed sick, BUT she has to be responsible HERSELF in order to find out her condition, and not get her loved ones worried. Cuts 2 ways bro. PErhaps her mind is clouded now, and unable to think properly. That said, give her time to realise the magnamity of her own empowerment of her condition. You can only do so much. Thus, do take care of your own sanity! PEace and if you really want to talk, I am a pm away... okay bro...no worries! Never heard of the term sanctioned deviance but i have reminded her of her reponsibilities towards her ownself but haiz again! Told her if she refused to take care of herself no one can! To her its her sacrifice for the family! She even cried when i suggested getting a maid to let her rest! indeed good that this thread brings MCFers closer amidst the COE, cash is king, full cash, property bla bla bla... MCF is about PEOPLE and we are humans at the end of the day and we connect through different means. Sometime down the path of life, we can make a difference and it is good that MCF has brought the likes of many of us here to even share these things that would seem taboo in the real connected world. Here, it is a place of solace to share and be amongst pals who resonate and can understand as well. Great work all and keep up the spirit that makes us stik with MCF @eviilusion its gd to let the emotions flow and as you regain the courage to face it, we are just a call away. Take care you want to make me cry right! Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Weez911 Supersonic October 25, 2016 Share October 25, 2016 she refused to go! A friend had given me a specialist contact from Eastshore but she is very steadfast in not going! She says its a waste of time and money! Told her to go KTPH she lagi says it a waste of time. Thats why i get stressed out and depressed when she wants to talk about it. And when i get depressed i will shut down and need to be alone but she will insist on talking and the cycle will go on! Thanks everyone for the words of comfort! Bro u are closest to her and you might know how to persuade to bring her there. If you are concerned about money, we are here to help. 9 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lala81 Hypersonic October 25, 2016 Share October 25, 2016 okay bro...no worries! Never heard of the term sanctioned deviance but i have reminded her of her reponsibilities towards her ownself but haiz again! Told her if she refused to take care of herself no one can! To her its her sacrifice for the family! She even cried when i suggested getting a maid to let her rest! you want to make me cry right!ððð Definitely not easy. Very tough on yourself. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lala81 Hypersonic October 25, 2016 Share October 25, 2016 You will need to talk and plan, no matter how heart pain it is. Also asked her to submit the LPA : https://www.publicguardian.gov.sg/opg/Pages/The-LPA-The-Lasting-Power-of-Attorney.aspx Would save everyone lots of troubles. I know it, I've been there. LPA is not really required for husband and spouse as long as accounts or properties are in joint account or dual names. But parent to child etc then important to sort it out. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ktglfc Hypersonic October 25, 2016 Share October 25, 2016 The greatest gift you can give someone is your time .... Because when you give your time, you are giving a portion of your life that you will never get back ... 14 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RadX Moderator October 25, 2016 Author Share October 25, 2016 Definitely not easy. Very tough on yourself. Yes bro, and sometimes as with all, we have to let go and respect the wishes of the patient. We hv been there b4, and we can only do so much. Challenge here is it is family we are talking abt and easier said than done. Balance to the issue is key, self-preservation as well as that of maintaining the patient's rights and dignity. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Evillusion Supersonic October 25, 2016 Share October 25, 2016 Bro u are closest to her and you might know how to persuade to bring her there. If you are concerned about money, we are here to help.thanks bro....but she is rather adamant on not going! Her hearbeat can be a constant 100+ per minute at rest and sometime quite faint but regular! I try not to wake her up especially when my daughter is not schooling....but she will claim i purposely do so to make her angry as she has the habit of making coffee for me and seeing me off at the door! Want to let her rest but at time it can get very frustating!Definitely not easy. Very tough on yourself.ya...its draining! Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vid Hypersonic October 25, 2016 Share October 25, 2016 thanks bro....but she is rather adamant on not going! Her hearbeat can be a constant 100+ per minute at rest and sometime quite faint but regular! I try not to wake her up especially when my daughter is not schooling....but she will claim i purposely do so to make her angry as she has the habit of making coffee for me and seeing me off at the door! Want to let her rest but at time it can get very frustating! ya...its draining! Get a 3rd party to talk to her? Sometimes it's hard for husband or immediate family so someone else might be able to. Like her friends. 6 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lala81 Hypersonic October 25, 2016 Share October 25, 2016 Yes bro, and sometimes as with all, we have to let go and respect the wishes of the patient. We hv been there b4, and we can only do so much. Challenge here is it is family we are talking abt and easier said than done. Balance to the issue is key, self-preservation as well as that of maintaining the patient's rights and dignity. Child to parent is always tough cos our parents still see us as a child. I can imagine the frustration between husband and wife though. Well chronic disease management, if owns elf not motivated, hard to achieve anything. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blacksnow 4th Gear October 25, 2016 Share October 25, 2016 thanks bro....but she is rather adamant on not going! Her hearbeat can be a constant 100+ per minute at rest and sometime quite faint but regular! I try not to wake her up especially when my daughter is not schooling....but she will claim i purposely do so to make her angry as she has the habit of making coffee for me and seeing me off at the door! Want to let her rest but at time it can get very frustating! ya...its draining! what is her condition/doctor's diagnosis? Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RadX Moderator October 25, 2016 Author Share October 25, 2016 what is her condition/doctor's diagnosis? dun think they have the whole pic, but seems like CHF from the signs being mentioned 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
inlinesix Supersonic October 25, 2016 Share October 25, 2016 Really boh pian. She has to come out of her own shelf on her own. No one can talk her into leaving her shelf. The more you talk about it, the protective shield will get thicker. Make yourself prepared for the worst case. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Evillusion Supersonic October 25, 2016 Share October 25, 2016 what is her condition/doctor's diagnosis?Her heart beat is a constant 120bpm last she went to see doctor! I also tries to monitor her hb every few days! She gets easily agitated and seems paranoid! Doctors told her to rest and relax as they had seen a few patients with the same ailments which will always result in a heart attack.....but its very difficult for her! For the past few month she has been complaining of having a sensation of having something stuck in her windpipe or throat while swallowing and these few days she says its getting really bad! Get a 3rd party to talk to her? Sometimes it's hard for husband or immediate family so someone else might be able to. Like her friends. she has a few cousins she is very close to. One is always on overseas working trip and the other has her hand full with an ailing father! Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
SuPerBoRed Twincharged October 25, 2016 Share October 25, 2016 okay bro...no worries! Never heard of the term sanctioned deviance but i have reminded her of her reponsibilities towards her ownself but haiz again! Told her if she refused to take care of herself no one can! To her its her sacrifice for the family! She even cried when i suggested getting a maid to let her rest! you want to make me cry right! Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kurty Supercharged October 25, 2016 Share October 25, 2016 Get a 3rd party to talk to her? Sometimes it's hard for husband or immediate family so someone else might be able to. Like her friends. yeah, bro. I agrees with Bro Vid. Women are such a pain at times, thick and stubborn.. I also feel I can't advice my wife at times, she just don't listen.. hence, get a friend or try a counsellor? Before I step into marriage, I always feel I was not ready. not ready to be a husband, father all responsibilities.. I get to meet this nice social worker, hearing me out. encouraging me to step out from the shadows Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Evillusion Supersonic October 25, 2016 Share October 25, 2016 (edited) very sad to hear your situation bro.. really don't have any consoling words to say. i guess you have to be very MUCH more patient and understanding with her.. and put up with any ''nonsense'' she may throw at you. Life always throw us tough changes.. live through and appreciate the journey. read ur story i also want to cry la... thanks bro.....have always taught myself to take things squarely as it comes no matter how painful it is! So apt talking here of my probs and this song playing on radio....https://youtu.be/rqDq3eyTGck Edited October 25, 2016 by Eviilusion Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Evillusion Supersonic October 25, 2016 Share October 25, 2016 yeah, bro. I agrees with Bro Vid. Women are such a pain at times, thick and stubborn.. I also feel I can't advice my wife at times, she just don't listen.. hence, get a friend or try a counsellor? Before I step into marriage, I always feel I was not ready. not ready to be a husband, father all responsibilities.. I get to meet this nice social worker, hearing me out. encouraging me to step out from the shadows You can tell me that again... ↡ Advertisement 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
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