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#1

Posted 28 November 2016 - 11:21 AM

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Spin off from the earlier thread which was locked...
 
Just wondering how you blokes out there perceive or define how a man's financial responsibilities are - in a marriage? 
There's no right or wrong, I guess largely, it also depends on a person's upbringing and family environment.
 
I strongly believe that husband and wife should both contribute financially. Doesn't matter who contributes more, mostly the man, but its the core principle that a marriage is shared responsibilities and hence, in a world where women are increasingly independent and demands equality, I reckon this is fair practice.
 
Marriage is a partnership, and with dual contribution, the potential to achieve greater things grows 2 fold. 
Of course, I know of many women who disagrees...  
 
So just wanna hear your views.

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It is not your aptitude, but your attitude, that determines your altitude....

#2

Posted 28 November 2016 - 11:33 AM

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sp4wn - take care of all financial responsibilities (car/home/bills)

sp4wn's wife - all things house related / everything else

everything else - give or take and strike a balance.

(the above 3 is a mutual consensus which we discussed for a few months before she quit her job, which i made her do)

 

wife tired? sp4wn do dishes.

 

sp4wn tired? wife massage him.

 

wife tired? sp4wn walk the dog

 

sp4wn meet mcf kakis? wife figure out her own plan.

 

wife go out ktv with friends? sp4wn feed himself, walk the dog, let wife take a break every now and then

 

sp4wn wife's is awesome. (she just message me asking me what i want for dinner so she can plan and accommodate)

 

 


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#3

Posted 28 November 2016 - 11:36 AM

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I wanna piak!!! (sing To the tune of I wanna rock) :XD:

#4

Posted 28 November 2016 - 11:37 AM

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sp4wn - take care of all financial responsibilities (car/home/bills)
sp4wn's wife - all things house related / everything else
everything else - give or take and strike a balance.
(the above 3 is a mutual consensus which we discussed for a few months before she quit her job, which i made her do)

wife tired? sp4wn do dishes.

sp4wn tired? wife massage him.

wife tired? sp4wn walk the dog

sp4wn meet mcf kakis? wife figure out her own plan.

wife go out ktv with friends? sp4wn feed himself, walk the dog, let wife take a break every now and then

sp4wn wife's is awesome. (she just message me asking me what i want for dinner so she can plan and accommodate)


Well done.

Try level 2. Kids

#5

Posted 28 November 2016 - 11:39 AM

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depends on who you ask, old man or young man.

 

some strawberries (boy or girl) can continue to leech on their own parents even after they are married.


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骑白马的不一定是王子,可能是唐僧;带翅膀的也不一定是天使,有时候是鸟人。

#6

Posted 28 November 2016 - 11:41 AM

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Well done.

Try level 2. Kids

 

simple....pass kids to grandparents and continue as usual

 

[idea]  :D



#7

Posted 28 November 2016 - 11:44 AM

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Well done.

Try level 2. Kids

 

yes. trying bro. i honestly dont foresee any issues ... as it is, when the other is tired, the other just takes care of things. dont even need to ask. if i see my wife tired, i just do the dishes quietly. 

 

so hopefully, things will always continue to get better! ^^



#8

Posted 28 November 2016 - 11:45 AM

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depends on who you ask, old man or young man.

 

some strawberries (boy or girl) can continue to leech on their own parents even after they are married.

 

Doesn't matter young or old. It is a timeless question. 
 
Every Gen X/Y / millennials/ strawberry/durian will have to deal with this question someday. It could be the deal breaker in getting married - Which I personally went thru, thus the curiously to see how others percieve.

It is not your aptitude, but your attitude, that determines your altitude....

#9

Posted 28 November 2016 - 11:45 AM

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Well done.

Try level 2. Kids

With kids is much higher level...lol.
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#10

Posted 28 November 2016 - 11:49 AM

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yes. trying bro. i honestly dont foresee any issues ... as it is, when the other is tired, the other just takes care of things. dont even need to ask. if i see my wife tired, i just do the dishes quietly. 

 

so hopefully, things will always continue to get better! ^^

 

With kids, not as straightfoward. 
 
Many times, you won't know how your spouse wants to bring up the kids / what kind of attention spent on kids is considered ample / how fastidious she is pertaining to all things kids.
 
Kids will change your quality of life for sure. As to what extend, it depends on what kind of parent you are and/or spouse expects you to be.

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It is not your aptitude, but your attitude, that determines your altitude....

#11

Posted 28 November 2016 - 11:52 AM

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Spin off from the earlier thread which was locked...
 
Just wondering how you blokes out there perceive or define how a man's financial responsibilities are - in a marriage? 
There's no right or wrong, I guess largely, it also depends on a person's upbringing and family environment.
 
I strongly believe that husband and wife should both contribute financially. Doesn't matter who contributes more, mostly the man, but its the core principle that a marriage is shared responsibilities and hence, in a world where women are increasingly independent and demands equality, I reckon this is fair practice.
 
Marriage is a partnership, and with dual contribution, the potential to achieve greater things grows 2 fold. 
Of course, I know of many women who disagrees...  
 
So just wanna hear your views.


I dislike the tacit (implied) assumption that only financial contributions really matter.

I'm sure you didn't really mean that, but it does come across that way.

There are plenty of other ways to contribute to a successful marriage and not all women (or men) are the same in their makeup and expectations.
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We live in a primitive time, don't we, Will? Neither savage nor wise. Half measures are the curse of it; any rational society would either kill me or put me to some use.

#12

Posted 28 November 2016 - 11:57 AM

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With kids, not as straightfoward. 
 
Many times, you won't know how your spouse wants to bring up the kids / what kind of attention spent on kids is considered ample / how fastidious she is pertaining to all things kids.
 
Kids will change your quality of life for sure. As to what extend, it depends on what kind of parent you are and/or spouse expects you to be.

 

 

well, i can only keep my fingers crossed and both of us go in with a positive mindset ^^

i agree with all of you, (i know i was a handful myself) ... so i guess positivity and communication is key (i still tell my wife when her cooking isnt up to scratch  lol... then normally she will try something else so that the next ver is better)



#13

Posted 28 November 2016 - 12:00 PM

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I dislike the tacit (implied) assumption that only financial contributions really matter.

I'm sure you didn't really mean that, but it does come across that way.

There are plenty of other ways to contribute to a successful marriage and not all women (or men) are the same in their makeup and expectations.

 

Actually, I meant it. 
 
Besides infidelity, financial disagreements rank tops as the number marriage breaker. It is important that you state what your financial perceptions are prior to marriage and both must agree.
I concur that there are plenty other ways to contribute, but I'm a practical person. 
 
If my spouse works, I don't see a reason why she should not be contributing. Its doesn't need to be equal, but the thought that both are playing a part in everything works for me.
Needless to say, I also contribute to the chores (that my maid doesn't do), the kids and all other things fairly.   

It is not your aptitude, but your attitude, that determines your altitude....

#14

Posted 28 November 2016 - 12:01 PM

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Spin off from the earlier thread which was locked...
 
Just wondering how you blokes out there perceive or define how a man's financial responsibilities are - in a marriage? 
There's no right or wrong, I guess largely, it also depends on a person's upbringing and family environment.
 
I strongly believe that husband and wife should both contribute financially. Doesn't matter who contributes more, mostly the man, but its the core principle that a marriage is shared responsibilities and hence, in a world where women are increasingly independent and demands equality, I reckon this is fair practice.
 
Marriage is a partnership, and with dual contribution, the potential to achieve greater things grows 2 fold. 
Of course, I know of many women who disagrees...  
 
So just wanna hear your views.

 

 

All I read from the threads here seem to point out that the men seems to foot most of the bills, if not all. But, as what I got from my married gf(s), the men only give like 500-800 bucks a month in all. Even the most publicly admired couple. 

 

I am considered a (very) strong and independent woman by most people who know me personally, but at this point of time, I would like to admit I seriously underestimated the complexity of marriage life, motherhood, and men in generally. I think it is quite unfair to expect the modern women to do everything: have a job to support the family, take care of household stuffs, raise the kids and take care of the husband's welfare. It's a 3-4 people's job. I agreed with what lala81 said in the previous thread, staying at home is much much harder than going to work. I still remember the relieved feeling when I finally could put on my makeup and my work clothes for my first day after maternity leave, and many days after that. If the man still being a d*ck, then there is no point. You think just throw in 500 bucks a month then you are responsible enough? 

 

On the side, I also see many family the wife stays home with 1 kid and a maid, and parents to help her out. Wow! So, just have to be sensible on both sides. 


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#15

Posted 28 November 2016 - 12:02 PM

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well, i can only keep my fingers crossed and both of us go in with a positive mindset ^^

i agree with all of you, (i know i was a handful myself) ... so i guess positivity and communication is key (i still tell my wife when her cooking isnt up to scratch  lol... then normally she will try something else so that the next ver is better)

 

Totally agree bro, communication is key.   :a-good:


It is not your aptitude, but your attitude, that determines your altitude....

#16

Posted 28 November 2016 - 12:04 PM

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based on who reply here (excluding me).. i can only say

 

12f58fbded1e912111e736dffe7bb7ad.jpg


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#17

Posted 28 November 2016 - 12:05 PM

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All I read from the threads here seem to point out that the men seems to foot most of the bills, if not all. But, as what I got from my married gf(s), the men only give like 500-800 bucks a month in all. Even the most publicly admired couple. 

 

I am considered a (very) strong and independent woman by most people who know me personally, but at this point of time, I would like to admit I seriously underestimated the complexity of marriage life, motherhood, and men in generally. I think it is quite unfair to expect the modern women to do everything: have a job to support the family, take care of household stuffs, raise the kids and take care of the husband's welfare. It's a 3-4 people's job. I agreed with what lala81 said in the previous thread, staying at home is much much harder than going to work. I still remember the relieved feeling when I finally could put on my makeup and my work clothes for my first day after maternity leave, and many days after that. If the man still being a d*ck, then there is no point. You think just throw in 500 bucks a month then you are responsible enough? 

 

On the side, I also see many family the wife stays home with 1 kid and a maid, and parents to help her out. Wow! So, just have to be sensible on both sides. 

 

You are a women, great then... Welcome feedback from women in a male dominated forum.
Marriage is a shared responsibility, and so financial contribution being part of the pillar of a marriage (among many other things of course) is essential.

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It is not your aptitude, but your attitude, that determines your altitude....

#18

Posted 28 November 2016 - 12:17 PM

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If my spouse works, I don't see a reason why she should not be contributing. Its doesn't need to be equal, but the thought that both are playing a part in everything works for me.
Needless to say, I also contribute to the chores (that my maid doesn't do), the kids and all other things fairly.   

 

You know, after work, most of the time your spouse is just as dead as you. Talking about my own experience, I consider myself as super fit and very hard working, but some days after work all I could do is to jump straight into the bed in my work clothes to rest.

 

During my younger time, I rejected some people who dared to ask me to stay home after marriage, but now thinking back, I sometimes tell my friends in an ideal world, maybe it is a better arrangement, one go to work to support the family, one stay home to take care of kids and household. And I stop judging women to demand that they stop working after marriage AND kids since I know first hand it is a hell of a tough job. These women are actually the smarter ones.


Edited by G1234, 28 November 2016 - 12:32 PM.

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#19

Posted 28 November 2016 - 12:35 PM

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Actually, I meant it. 
 
Besides infidelity, financial disagreements rank tops as the number marriage breaker. It is important that you state what your financial perceptions are prior to marriage and both must agree.
I concur that there are plenty other ways to contribute, but I'm a practical person. 
 
If my spouse works, I don't see a reason why she should not be contributing. Its doesn't need to be equal, but the thought that both are playing a part in everything works for me.
Needless to say, I also contribute to the chores (that my maid doesn't do), the kids and all other things fairly.   

 

 

 

this is why i say old or young, for older mindset, men will never allow women to contribute financially. She can earn her keep, she need not contribute and leave all the burden to the men.  


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#20

Posted 28 November 2016 - 12:37 PM

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All I read from the threads here seem to point out that the men seems to foot most of the bills, if not all. But, as what I got from my married gf(s), the men only give like 500-800 bucks a month in all. Even the most publicly admired couple. 

 

I am considered a (very) strong and independent woman by most people who know me personally, but at this point of time, I would like to admit I seriously underestimated the complexity of marriage life, motherhood, and men in generally. I think it is quite unfair to expect the modern women to do everything: have a job to support the family, take care of household stuffs, raise the kids and take care of the husband's welfare. It's a 3-4 people's job. I agreed with what lala81 said in the previous thread, staying at home is much much harder than going to work. I still remember the relieved feeling when I finally could put on my makeup and my work clothes for my first day after maternity leave, and many days after that. If the man still being a d*ck, then there is no point. You think just throw in 500 bucks a month then you are responsible enough? 

 

On the side, I also see many family the wife stays home with 1 kid and a maid, and parents to help her out. Wow! So, just have to be sensible on both sides. 

 

500-800/month? Seriously?

I mean unless the husband is not earning much and maybe sapu all the miscellaneous bills as well (car, house, utilities, eating out etc) ... that's not much.




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