kdash Supersonic January 3, 2018 Share January 3, 2018 But this one is soooooooo widespread and common here in SG. It's almost an unwritten rule for many people. My mother helped to take care of both my kids after they were born. I didn't have to open contract talks or negotiate with my mother. That time just asked, and she agreed right away... For that i - and my wife - have been very grateful. I have M'sian colleagues who do not have parents/in-laws here. Without extended family support, looking after their young kids was a big challenge. In fact, they left the kids with the parents in JB on weekdays, and go in to see the kids only on weekends. Brought them out only when they needed to go childcare. i agree bro, but i'm referring to the root motivation for having kids. it should be the parents' choice and willingness to have and raise kids, rather than the grandparents' wishes. i am also very grateful to my parents for helping to take care of my kids. without them it would be very tough. i have a senior colleague who keeps on complaining that he regrets having his son, due to the trouble, financial commitment etc... imagine how the son feels whenever he hears his dad complain about him... i have tried to reason with this colleague before, but he doesnt listen... Thought dentistry is one of the better proffession so shouldnt she be better off at old age. Its sad when i read this kind of story. I raised my children because i love them with no strings attached......i even feels paisey when my son comes back and buy for us things and meals. agree bro. and this unconditional love is reciprocated by your kids which is why they buy things for you and your wife etc... which beckons one to wonder what the conditions for raising up of the 2 sons were like in the case of the article... ↡ Advertisement Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Evillusion Supersonic January 3, 2018 Share January 3, 2018 But this one is soooooooo widespread and common here in SG. It's almost an unwritten rule for many people. My mother helped to take care of both my kids after they were born. I didn't have to open contract talks or negotiate with my mother. That time just asked, and she agreed right away... For that i - and my wife - have been very grateful. I have M'sian colleagues who do not have parents/in-laws here. Without extended family support, looking after their young kids was a big challenge. In fact, they left the kids with the parents in JB on weekdays, and go in to see the kids only on weekends. Brought them out only when they needed to go childcare. My son and daughter had never been taken by any others before.....well, my son was taken care by my mum for lesser than 6 month but our daughter.....100% by the 2 of us. i agree bro, but i'm referring to the root motivation for having kids. it should be the parents' choice and willingness to have and raise kids, rather than the grandparents' wishes. i am also very grateful to my parents for helping to take care of my kids. without them it would be very tough. i have a senior colleague who keeps on complaining that he regrets having his son, due to the trouble, financial commitment etc... imagine how the son feels whenever he hears his dad complain about him... i have tried to reason with this colleague before, but he doesnt listen... agree bro. and this unconditional love is reciprocated by your kids which is why they buy things for you and your wife etc... which beckons one to wonder what the conditions for raising up of the 2 sons were like in the case of the article... Mother most probably not so simpur kind and oni see dollars and cents. Most probably very calculative when raising her kids and very domineering.... Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jamesc Hypersonic January 3, 2018 Share January 3, 2018 She didn't bring him up because of love? 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jman888 Moderator January 3, 2018 Share January 3, 2018 I wouldn't say the mum is wrong even if she has the money to retire comfortably. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Evillusion Supersonic January 3, 2018 Share January 3, 2018 I wouldn't say the mum is wrong even if she has the money to retire comfortably.I learnt this from my grandfather-in-law. They never asked anything from their children but most of their children gives back willingly without being asked. Even at a ripe old age they lived on their own and when the grandfather died her grandmother lived on her own for 10 yrs and refused to live with her children. But of course the children and grandchildren visits her regularly and one grandson even visits her everyday for lunch which was a guise to keep her company. They gave up many things for their children.....sold off a private property for 1 son who was in trouble, sold off the next for another son but they never ask anything back in return. Thats why i try to follow in their footsteps eventhough it can be very difficult at time.....actually they are my idol. Once you bring out money in a relationship everything else becomes a transaction. 3 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
DACH Supersonic January 3, 2018 Share January 3, 2018 If one can't accept such sacrifices, then don't be a parent in the first place. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Evillusion Supersonic January 3, 2018 Share January 3, 2018 If one can't accept such sacrifices, then don't be a parent in the first place.only when one becomes a parent does one know how much a sacrifice can one bear.......so its rather difficult to foresee one weakness or strength..... She didn't bring him up because of love? 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jamesc Hypersonic January 3, 2018 Share January 3, 2018 only when one becomes a parent does one know how much a sacrifice can one bear.......so its rather difficult to foresee one weakness or strength..... maybe it was twice by accident or a leaking condom.... Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Evillusion Supersonic January 3, 2018 Share January 3, 2018 I know all about that. you poke the condom right.... Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jamesc Hypersonic January 3, 2018 Share January 3, 2018 you poke the condom right.... Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Evillusion Supersonic January 3, 2018 Share January 3, 2018 That time I didn't know and thought 1 was enough. Now I know must use 2 and put tiger balm in between. think its osmosis at work.... Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Atrecord Supersonic January 3, 2018 Share January 3, 2018 i agree bro, but i'm referring to the root motivation for having kids. it should be the parents' choice and willingness to have and raise kids, rather than the grandparents' wishes. i am also very grateful to my parents for helping to take care of my kids. without them it would be very tough. i have a senior colleague who keeps on complaining that he regrets having his son, due to the trouble, financial commitment etc... imagine how the son feels whenever he hears his dad complain about him... i have tried to reason with this colleague before, but he doesnt listen... oh yah, having kids should be because the parents themselves want to have them, and not because of external pressure. Conditions and environments would of course be contributing factors on whether it's conducive to have them too, but the biggest reason should be the parents want them. 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Atrecord Supersonic January 3, 2018 Share January 3, 2018 My son and daughter had never been taken by any others before.....well, my son was taken care by my mum for lesser than 6 month but our daughter.....100% by the 2 of us. wah you can manage arrh? my mum helped to look after our kids from the time my wife went back to work after maternity. We appreciated it much as we could continue to focus on our work without having to worry too much about whether they're well fed, clothed or safe, etc. We also made sure that we brought them home every night after dinner, so that my mum can have sufficient rest and not be kept awake. Glad we came through that phase... 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Evillusion Supersonic January 3, 2018 Share January 3, 2018 wah you can manage arrh? my mum helped to look after our kids from the time my wife went back to work after maternity. We appreciated it much as we could continue to focus on our work without having to worry too much about whether they're well fed, clothed or safe, etc. We also made sure that we brought them home every night after dinner, so that my mum can have sufficient rest and not be kept awake. Glad we came through that phase... i do minimal lar.... 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
kdash Supersonic January 3, 2018 Share January 3, 2018 i do minimal lar....ð¤£ð¤£ð¤£.....my oc did the most. She started to cook, as she refused any help from anybody not even her mum, as soon as she was discharged. Told her no need to cook and rest but she very adamant against buying outside food. Of course i helped out with the housework but she will reclean the area again when i am not around, so much so i gave up on cleaning the house......lol. Got 1 time i told her that we should get a maid to help her with the chores and cooking........she cried sia......telling us please dont as thats her sacrifice for the family......haiz.respect to your wife and all moms who made sacrifices for their families and kids Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Evillusion Supersonic January 3, 2018 Share January 3, 2018 respect to your wife and all moms who made sacrifices for their families and kids Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
DACH Supersonic January 3, 2018 Share January 3, 2018 oh yah, having kids should be because the parents themselves want to have them, and not because of external pressure. Conditions and environments would of course be contributing factors on whether it's conducive to have them too, but the biggest reason should be the parents want them. I agree with you. Having kids shouldn't be from external pressure, be it parents, grand parents, peers or even the govt giving money to tell people to have kids. The parents themselves should first know and understand the responsibilities of having a child and bringing up a child for his/her whole life. Many times, I will hear my friends complaining about parenthood, how tired, how expensive, etc, it is to have a child. If want to complain all these things, why have a child in the first place? It is already not responsible enough not to first evaluate the sacrifices, responsibilities and consequences if the couple choose to have a child and then blame the child for the problems developed in life after that. And not just that, don't have a child just because want to fulfill your self ego, like having a kid makes your life complete, or make you look successful. As a parent, you need to understand having a kid is not to fulfill your self ego but understand that raising a kid needs a lot of responsibility and sacrifices and you want a kid because you are ready to build his/her whole life. Not fulfilling self egos and hao lian "I got kid" and after that kpkb complaining about parenthood and blame the kid after that for your problems in your lives. Sometimes I think those childless couples who think that they should not have kids because they think they are not willingly to take that sacrifices and responsibilities, are probably more responsible than, those parents with kids but keep complaining about parenthood, blaming the child for their lives and demanded payback from their kids for their upbringing, like for this case. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Victor68 Turbocharged January 3, 2018 Share January 3, 2018 The moral of the story, give your children love and focus on the right values by setting the example on how you treat your own parents. Be prepared and ensure you plan for your old age without having to wait for handouts. It is always nice when you have something to give than to take. ↡ Advertisement 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
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