Jump to content

Killing Your Monday Blues............


Picnic06-Biante15
 Share

Recommended Posts

Just to kick start your "Monday Blues" with [sly][sly][sly]

 

 

"Deception Is The Name Of The Game....."

 

 

A man was sitting reading his papers when

his wife hit him round the head with a frying pan.

 

'What was that for?' the man asked.

 

The wife replied 'That was for the piece of

paper with the name Jenny on it that I found in your pants pocket'.

 

The man then said 'When I was at the races

last week Jenny was the name of the horse I bet on'

 

The wife apologized and went on with the housework.

 

Three days later the man is watching TV when his wife bashes him

on the head with an even bigger frying pan, knocking him unconscious.

 

Upon re-gaining consciousness the man asked why she had hit again.

 

Wife replied. 'Your horse phoned' ....

 

 

[smash][smash][smash][smash][smash]

↡ Advertisement
Link to post
Share on other sites

Neutral Newbie

A woman was shaking out a rug on the balcony of her 17th floor condominium when a sudden gust of wind blew her over the railing. "Damn, that was stupid," she thought as she fell. "What a way to die."

 

As she passed the 14th floor, a man standing at his railing caught her in his arms.

While she looked at him in disbelieving gratitude, he asked, "Do you suck?"

"No!" she shrieked, aghast.

So, he dropped her.

 

As she passed the 12th floor, another man reached out and caught her. "Do you screw?" he asked.

"Of course not!" she exclaimed before she could stop herself.

He dropped her, too.

 

The poor woman prayed to God for one more chance. As luck would have it, she was caught a third time, by a man on the eighth floor. "I suck! I screw!" she screamed in panic.

"Slut!" he said, and dropped her.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Neutral Newbie

Jackie Chan went to a pub in States, he met Steven Spielberg,

 

Steven punched Jackie right in his face

 

He asked, Why did u punch me? Steven said, That was for Pearl Habour,

 

Jackie : Im not Japanese!

 

Steven : Chinese Japanese all the same to me.

 

Next day, they both met again at the same pub, this time, Jackie punched Steven.

 

Steven: What was that for?!

 

Jackie: That was for Titanic

 

Steven : That wasnt me! It was the IceBerg

 

Jackie : IceBerg, CarlsBerg, SpielBerg all the same to me.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Neutral Newbie

Old lady, 85, a virgin, about to die. wanted her tombstone to read :

BORN A VIRGIN, LIVED A VIRGIN, DIED A VIRGIN.

The engraver shortened it to: " RETURNED UNOPENED "

Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
 Share

×
×
  • Create New...