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Something to tickle yr Humor Bones

Qpik

By Qpik,
in Lite & EZ

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Qpik

Qpik

Supercharged

JOKE 1

 

A woman takes a lover home during the day, while her husband is at work.

 

Unbeknownst to her, her 9 year old son was hiding in the closet.

 

Her husband comes home unexpectedly, so she puts the lover in the closet with the little boy.

 

The little boy says, "Dark in here."

 

The man says, "Yes it is."

 

Boy- "I have a baseball."

 

Man- "That's nice."

 

Boy- "Want to buy it?"

 

Man- "No, thanks."

 

Boy- "My dad's outside."

 

Man- "OK, how much?"

 

Boy- "$250."

 

In the next few weeks, it happens again that the boy and the mom's lover are in the closet together.

 

Boy- "Dark in here."

 

Man- "Yes, it is."

 

Boy- "I have a baseball glove."

 

The lover, remembering the last time, asks the boy, "How much?"

 

Boy- "$750."

 

Man- "Fine."

 

A few days later, the father says to the boy, "Grab your glove. Let's go outside and toss the baseball back and forth."

 

The boy says, "I can't. I sold them."

 

The father asks, "How much did you sell them for?"

 

The son says "$1,000."

 

The father says, "That's terrible to overcharge your friends like that. That is way more than those two things cost. I'm going to take you to church and make you confess."

 

They go to church and the father makes the little boy sit in the confession booth and he closes the door.

 

The boy says, "Dark in here."

 

The priest says, "Don't start that sh*t again."

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JOKE 2

A man bought a donkey from a preacher.

 

The preacher told the man that this donkey had been trained in a very unique way, (being the donkey of a preacher).

 

The only way to make the donkey go, was to say, "Hallelujah!"

 

The only way to make the donkey stop, was to say, "Amen!"

 

The man was pleased with his purchase and immediately got on the animal to try out the preacher's instructions.

 

"Hallelujah!" shouted the man.

 

The donkey began to trot.

 

"Amen!" shouted the man.

 

The donkey stopped immediately.

 

"This is great!" said the man.

 

With a "Hallelujah," he rode off very proud of his new purchase.

 

The man traveled for a long time through some mountains.

 

Soon he was heading toward a cliff.

 

He could not remember the word to make the donkey stop.

 

"Stop," said the man.

 

"Halt!" he cried. The donkey just kept going.

 

"Oh, no... Bible!....Church!...Please Stop!!" shouted the man.

 

The donkey just began to trot faster.

 

He was getting closer and closer to the cliff edge.

 

Finally, in desperation, the man said a prayer.

 

"Please, dear Lord. Please make this donkey stop before I go off the end of this mountain, In Jesus name, AMEN."

 

The donkey came to an abrupt stop just one step from the edge of the cliff.

 

"HALLELUJAH!", shouted the man.

 

 

 

JOKES 3

One day

 

One day, 3 men were captured by cannibals and were brought to the chief.

 

The Chief told them to get 10 of one kind of fruit and sends them off.

 

The 1st guy comes back with 10 apples.

 

The chief then tells him that he has to stick all 10 apples up his butt without any expression or he will be killed and eaten.

 

The 1st guy sticks in the first apple with great struggle but managed to get it in.

 

Then he went for the second one but winced out in pain and was killed.

 

The 2nd guy came back with 10 berries.

 

The chief explained the rules and the 2nd guy was putting them in one by one, 1....2...3...4....5...6....7...8...9... and as soon as he was getting to the tenth berry.., he laughed hysterically and was killed.

 

The 1st and 2nd guy meet in Heaven.

 

The 1st guy asks the 2nd guy, " Why did you laugh?! You almost made it!!!".

 

And the 2nd guy replied, "I couldn't help it... I saw the 3rd guy coming with pineapples !!!"

 

JOKES 4

A man approached a beautiful woman in the large supermarket and asked, "Hi, I've lost my wife here in the supermarket. Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?"

 

"Why?" asked the confused woman.

 

The man replied, "Because every time I talk to a beautiful woman my wife appears out of nowhere."

 

JOKES 5

Deer Ah Lian

 

Thanks you for your letter. Wrong time no see you. How everything? For me, I am quiet find.

 

You say in your letter your taukeh soh want you to chain your look? Somemore you must wear kick kok soo, hope you can wok properly.

 

You know, Ah Kau Kia working in a soft where company now. Last week, he take I, Muthu & few of his friend to May Nonut to eat barger.

 

After that he take we all go to kalah ok.

 

Muthu sing and sing no stop until the sky bright.

 

Next week, my father mother going to sellerbread 20 years annie wear sari.

 

My father mother going to give a fist to all the kampong people. So you must come with your hole family.

 

I only hope one day we no need to write and send letter to you and to me.

 

Better I e-meow you, you e-meow me.

 

I will ketchup with you soon.

 

And when you got time, please few free to call me.

 

Goo bye.....

 

 

Worm regard,

Ah Beng

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Qpik

Qpik

Supercharged
  • Author

where you E-Meow me...

 

unless you are referring to the question I rec'd at www.askSinfor4D.com that I got this morningunimpressed.gif

 

laugh.giflaugh.giflaugh.giflaugh.gif

 

ok i give you 1 golden no. 3836, must permutate for tomorrow only, HUAT AH

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Picnic06-Biante15

Picnic06-Biante15

Supersonic

[laugh][laugh][laugh][laugh][thumbsup][thumbsup][thumbsup][thumbsup]

 

 

poor priest ............. [sweatdrop][sweatdrop][sweatdrop]

 

 

Maybe continue from here:

 

The boy says, "Dark in here."

 

The priest says, "Don't start that sh*t again."

 

The boy says, "My father is waiting outside"

 

The priest says, "Now how much"

 

The boy says, "$1000"

 

The boy returns to his father and says "God just gave him another $1000"

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Route88

Route88

2nd Gear

Firm it up!

 

One morning while making breakfast, a man walked up to his wife and pinched her on the butt and said, "If you firmed this up, we could get rid of your control top pantyhose." While this was on the edge of intolerable, she kept silent.

 

The next morning, the man woke his wife with a pinch on each of her breasts and said "You know, if you firmed these up, we could get rid of your bra."

 

This was beyond a silent response, so she rolled over and grabbed him by his penis. With a death grip in place, she said, "You know, if you firmed this up, we could get rid of the gardener, the postman, the poolman and your brother." [shocked]

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Qpik

Qpik

Supercharged
  • Author

i forgot to add:-

 

Disclaimer:

the no. i give is 1 thing, u hv to consult www.4DnU.com to see if yr Life got side luck or not laugh.giflaugh.giflaugh.gif

 

that is not manned by me so i hv no control over that.

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