Funny jokes...

[Darth_mel]

1. When I was born, I was given a choice - A big dick or a good memory. I don't remember, what I chose.

 

2. Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.

 

3. A wife is a sex object. Every time you ask for sex, she objects.

 

4. Impotence: Nature's way of saying 'No hard feelings...'

 

5. There are only two four letter words that are offensive to men - 'don't' and 'stop', unless they are used together of course.

 

6. Panties: Not the best thing on earth, but next to best thing on earth.

 

7. There are three stages of sex in a man's life: Tri Weekly, Try Weekly, and Try Weakly.

 

8. Virginity can be cured.

 

9. Virginity is not dignity, it's lack of opportunity.

 

10. Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.

 

11. I tried phone sex once, but the holes in the dialer were too small.

 

12. Marriage is the only war where you get to sleep with the enemy.

 

13. A couple just married were happy with the whole thing. He was happy with the Hole and she was happy with the Thing.

 

14. Q: What are the three biggest tragedies in a mans life?

A: Life sucks, job sucks, and the wife doesn't.

 

15. Q: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?

A: Breasts don't have eyes.

 

16. Despite the old saying, 'Don't take your troubles to bed', many men still sleep with their wives!!!

[Potheader]

definitely a perk me up at 1:30am in the morning!!!

[Iziz]

Good one!

[Nullbig]

[Robin]

funny

[Relagsingh]

6 and 14 are my favourites.

[Blue2]

One of the best Funny Jokes seen around here

[Mage]

my contribution

 

 

 

A successful rancher died and left everything to his devoted wife. She was a very good-looking woman and determined to keep the ranch, but knew very little about ranching, so she decided to place an ad in the newspaper for a ranch hand. Two cowboys applied for the job.

One was gay and the other a drunk.

 

She thought long and hard about it, and when no one else applied she decided to hire the GAY guy, figuring it would be safer to have him around the house than the drunk. He proved to be a hard worker who put in long hours every day and knew a lot about ranching. For weeks, the two of them worked, and the ranch was doing very well.

 

Then one day, the rancher's widow said to the hired hand, 'You have done a really good job, and the ranch looks great. You should go into town and kick up

your heels.'

 

The hired hand readily agreed and went into town one Saturday night.

 

One o 'clock came, however, and he didn't return.

Two o'clock and no hired hand. Finally he returned around

Two-thirty, and upon entering the room, he found the rancher's widow sitting by the fireplace with a glass of wine, waiting for him.

She quietly called him over to her.

 

'Unbutton my blouse and take it off,' she said. Trembling, he did as she directed.

'Now take off my boots.' He did as she asked, ever so slowly.

'Now take off my socks.' He removed each gently and placed them neatly by her boots.

'Now take off my skirt.' He slowly unbuttoned it, constantly watching her eyes in the fire light.

'Now take off my bra.' Again, with trembling hands, he did as he was told and dropped it to the floor.

 

Then she looked at him and said, 'If you ever wear my clothes into town again, you're fired.'