Before/After - How has fatherhood/motherhood change you?

[KoreanLover]

  [grouphug]  

 

dammmmm, I must go back treasure my wife lagi more

 

no leh

my kids have been sleeping in the same room since born

wait until they sleep then piak piak lor

good thing they are heavy sleepers

 

Wah.. so envy you..

 

having baby really reduce my piak piak to once in a few months.. so tired caring for the baby liao.. by the time he sleep, both my wife and me already 1/2 dead.. where got mood :(

[Mustank]

Wah.. so envy you..

 

having baby really reduce my piak piak to once in a few months.. so tired caring for the baby liao.. by the time he sleep, both my wife and me already 1/2 dead.. where got mood :(

 

once every few months?!?!?!?!

one week I don't get, I like that liao:

 

   

if the woman wants the man to be faithful, then that means she carrys the man's sex needs, vice versa

[Lala81]

once every few months?!?!?!?!

one week I don't get, I like that liao:

 

   

 

Last time for me was April 2014. 

 

main issue is the dryness.

 

Edited October 28, 2015 by Lala81

[KoreanLover]

Last time for me was April 2014. 

 

main issue is the dryness.

 

Yeah.. Dryness is the issue if spouse is still breastfeeding..

 

But can try lubricants like KY 

Edited October 28, 2015 by KoreanLover

[BanCoe]

nope, she promised me having kids wont affect our piak piak

..... And You bought it

[Mustank]

Last time for me was April 2014. 

 

main issue is the dryness.

 

guarantee sure work

 

[Lala81]

Very uncomfortable for the wife even with lubricants 

So give up lor. Haha. This is true love baby! 

 

guarantee sure work

 

[Mustank]

..... And You bought it

[Lala81]

for me and my wife, at first is like that also

but after the 2 kids, somehow things became better

she did not have natural birth

both were bridge position

 

for me, my wife is not my sister

if I am forced to look for other woman, the deal is definitely off

 

for my wife, it's more of a hormone thing.

It's not her fault, just too dry until painful and really zero desire.

 

Wait for didi to grow up lor 

[Mustank]

for my wife, it's more of a hormone thing.

It's not her fault, just too dry until painful and really zero desire.

 

Wait for didi to grow up lor 

 

I think you and I better don't turn up in any of the meet and greets

  :XD:  

[Ahseng]

I'm one that don't really like kids...

 

EXCEPT MY OWN! hahahahhaa

 

but they also can drive u crazy sometimes...

 

but they also can make u feel happy like you've never felt before.

 

but they also tekan u wake up in middle of night to care for them...(piss the bed / fever / etc)

 

but they also smile at you and u melt and then u come to forum and say NO REGRETS!!!

 

 

Just F*kin Do It! :)

[Icedbs]

Wow..very good comments. From what I hear so far, seems like more of following the heart than the mind when comes to having kids.

 

Ok....another question if you don't mind. Did you guys plan for it, or it happen to come so just take it and learn to go through it? And if it is the latter, did you panic for a while knowing your life gonna change or still jump with joy anyway?

 

So far, I see a lot of my friends' lives becomes their kids lives.  Their own life plan is totally out of the window, and replaced by the life of their kid. Their financials, holiday plans,  work , commitments, etc all change and evolve around their kids. Basically the kid is running their life!  Not sure if I can tahan that man....

 

 

Edited October 28, 2015 by Icedbs

[Ahseng]

Wow..very good comments. From what I hear so far, seems like more of following the heart than the mind when comes to having kids.

 

Ok....another question if you don't mind. Did you guys plan for it, or it happen to come so just take it and learn to go through it? And if it is the latter, did you panic for a while knowing your life gonna change or still jump with joy anyway?

 

For me is planned. but of cos cannot plan until so zhun what day what month.

 

Just enjoy X number of years after getting married then  start to throw away the rubber lor.

[Toothiewabbit]

the amount of $ spent on bring up a child can be earned back...

 

the time and effort spent on them from newborn till they are independent can never be gotten back..

 

ｅｖｅｎ ｉｆ ｙｏｕ ｈａｖｅ ａｌｌ ｔｈｅ ｍｏｎｅｙ ｉｎ ｔｈｅ ｗｏｒｌｄ，

but the experience can never be bought

 

 

 

being a parent makes one (me) appreciate all the things my parents did for me, my inlaws did for my wife..

 

so i hope one day my child will care for me the way when we are older.. ｂｕｔ ｎｏ ｇｕａｒａｎｔｅｅｓ。。

 

 

ｓｔｉｌｌ ｈｅｒ ｅｖｅｒｙ ａｃｔｉｏｎ ｗｉｌｌ ｍｅｌｔ ｍｙ ｈｅａｒｔ。。 ａｎｄ ｂｒｅａｋ ａｌｏｔ ｏｆ ｏｔｈｅｒｓ ｌａｔｅｒ ｏｎ ｉｎ ｌｉｆｅ。。

Children grow up in a hurry if we dun watch it. When I look at my eldest, I wished I could spend more time with him at toddler stage as I do now with my youngest

[Lala81]

Wow..very good comments. From what I hear so far, seems like more of following the heart than the mind when comes to having kids.

 

Ok....another question if you don't mind. Did you guys plan for it, or it happen to come so just take it and learn to go through it? And if it is the latter, did you panic for a while knowing your life gonna change or still jump with joy anyway?

 

So far, I see a lot of my friends' lives becomes their kids lives.  Their own life plan is totally out of the window, and replaced by the life of their kid. Their financials, holiday plans,  work , commitments, etc all change and evolve around their kids. Basically the kid is running their life!  Not sure if I can tahan that man....

 

Everything revolves around my kids.

What time i wake up, what time we go to bed. Whether we go on holiday (didn't for 3 out of the last 5 years). 

Meet my friends for dinner on last Saturday, we met at 815. I left by 1030 cos my girl want to go home liao. Would i want to stay later, sure. But my girl comes first.

 

But really we don't mind though it can be tiring and we can grumble about it.

[Jman888]

Wow..very good comments. From what I hear so far, seems like more of following the heart than the mind when comes to having kids.

 

Ok....another question if you don't mind. Did you guys plan for it, or it happen to come so just take it and learn to go through it? And if it is the latter, did you panic for a while knowing your life gonna change or still jump with joy anyway?

 

So far, I see a lot of my friends' lives becomes their kids lives. Their own life plan is totally out of the window, and replaced by the life of their kid. Their financials, holiday plans, work , commitments, etc all change and evolve around their kids. Basically the kid is running their life! Not sure if I can tahan that man....

 

you sounds like you dun have control over your life!

 

how you live and ways of parenting is up to you, but make sure you know what you are doing and live with the consequences.

[Lala81]

you sounds like you dun have control over your life!

 

how you live and ways of parenting is up to you, but make sure you know what you are doing and live with the consequences.

 

well said.

[Vid]

To be honest, when one "thinks" and do pros and cons assessment, there are no good reasons for having kids.

 

1. Every child is a shaving of your freedom by a minimum of 5 years. You face diapers, spilt milk, vomited stuff, faecal and urinal stuff, sleepless nights, sleepless days, MC no enough (new Jack Neo movie?)

 

2. After the 5 years, it's another 15 to 20 years of worry over how well the child is growing and coping with life's pressures. Your life is still structured along the child's schedule every day of this 15-20 years more. In fact, where you live and what kind of transport you have (whether public or private) might also be due to the needs of the child. You get a generous dose of worry every day in all kinds of situations the child is in (or not).

 

3. Your audiovisual world is transformed into one of crying (as babies), transiting into tantrums and bad behaviours (toddlers), and subsequently more or less some defiance and rebelliousness (during their teenage years).

 

4. After the 25 years, you continue to worry over the rest of your lives about whether they would be able to establish a family like you did, whether they are able to stand on their own against the world.

 

5. If you are lucky (or unlucky), you get grandchildren whom you have to start the same process all over again.

 

6. Your pocket money gets divided into many other pockets, each pocket of higher priority than your personal expenses. Every child in SG probably costs between half a mil to 1 mil to bring up.

 

Frankly, any "advantage" you get from the child directly will be few and far in between. There is also no guarantee of filial piety, or care for you when you are old. No warranty about what you are going to get or how each is going to turn out.

 

I do it simply because I never think about it. My parents never thought about it that way too, or I would never have been born. The only thing I might have thought about parenting is life is short, and this is the only way to get a complete package of life, with all its sweetness, bitterness, saltiness and spice!

 

But honestly, I do consider about having a specific number of children and not more, as every one means a huge cut off my pocket money!

 

Excellent post! [thumbsup] Can't say it any better myself.

 

A child in this society is really taxing on the finance. Unlike last time where kids are 自身自灭. Now the amount of energy one has to put into nurturing one so that he or she can survive when they grow up is unbelievable. Raising a child is definitely NOT easy.

 

With the joy, you get all the other emotions that come along with it. I would understand if someone is reluctant to have one.

 

Like you, I never really thought it out. if I did maybe I wouldn't have my two kids [laugh]