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Problem with mother


Curahee
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I m having this problem with my mother since young, now i already 27 yrs old still the same. I go oversea travel, she will stop me say i waste money travel, life too comfy, only know how to travel, enjoy life etc, for ur info i only go nearby country like bkk, malaysia, 1 yr once, i think its not a lot n costly. i go for road trip to malaysia she will stop me say that will kena rob, kill, buang etc, stay in spore better, i go JB for dinner she will stop me say JB crime rate very high, will kill, rob, i 1 am haven't come home she will call me and ask me go home asap, sleep too late bad for health, i very angry sometime, wonder why my freedom always need to be restricted, i need to tell lies like go friend bbq chalet etc den can stay out for a night or drive my car out of spore secretly, i m a laughing stock among my friends as they always laugh at me that i am mummy boy, so old liao mommy still control me like a 5 yrs old kid... Every nite go for friends gathering confirm cannot stay late etc coz the phone will be bombarded. She even say when i get my flat, move out, she will also control me. I dunno how... My wife very angry also as she start to control my wife behavior now. Anyone can provide some suggestion to solve this life long problem....

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Try having a long heart to heart talk with her that you are already a grown up who knows how to take care of ownself and tell her not to worry?

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wah sound very extreme...thought usually mothers if were to exhibit such behaviour is normally towards daughters and not son...

 

Yes i dun understand, even my female friend also say their mom not like that.... My mom nv work outside before, nv see outside world before, dun like to explore n travel hence maybe thats why like a frog in the well, all her view very narrow minded n the worst thing is she tot her views r always right. Even i argue n try to tok some sense into her also no use, she will always feel she is right. My bro also kena the same thing like me. <_<

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You need to talk to your mom pal...

 

If this goes on, it might affect your marriage or personal development....

 

She loves you yes.. but she cannot control your life like a puppet....

 

I'm sorry to hear that bro...

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sorry but. ur dad not around anymore? perhaps she just need companion? u must be well taken care of since young.

 

Yes he still around. Yes she take care of my family very well. Hence i always give in to her, n try not to defy her instructions. But i m reaching a point that i cannot take it anymore. I m like a cage animal all these year, why can't i travel? Even go oversea also cannot... I muz tell lies say its co. outing or lucky draw winner den i have the permission to go. This also affect me n my wife relationship....

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Neutral Newbie

well i am 23 this year and sometimes i face this problem sometimes too. My mum is just like your mother, nv work outside before and blah blah. I feel that to settle this problem is to tell her how you feel. She will definitely reject what you say and say things like she love you and you will forever be her son blah blah. But be firm. Tell her that you dont like her to do that etc. Even if she reject what you say, i am sure she will think about you said to her. Hopefully she will change her actions.

A few friend of mine face this kind of problem too, from what i observe, this is because all this while they are a very 'guai' child who nv gave their parents much worry or problems. however surprisingly this made the parents worry even more about them -_- so my advice is, just talk to her abt this issue.

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Yes he still around. Yes she take care of my family very well. Hence i always give in to her, n try not to defy her instructions. But i m reaching a point that i cannot take it anymore. I m like a cage animal all these year, why can't i travel? Even go oversea also cannot... I muz tell lies say its co. outing or lucky draw winner den i have the permission to go. This also affect me n my wife relationship....

 

have a good talk with her...if she tells you its waste of money to travel, perhaps you can reassure her that you are earning enough and will set aside a healthy sum every month for savings despite travelling..if she tell you not to stay out too late which is bad for your health, you can reassure her that you will always strive to have sufficient sleep and rest and that occasionally staying up late won't affect your health at all...

 

yes, know how you feel but your mum really loves you...I think from the way you described, you and your bro mean the world to her..try talking to her in a calm manner and dun get agitated when you discuss with her about this...and as another forumer suggested, ask your dad to chip in a few words as well...for example when you try to convince her its ok to do something, then your father comes in to lend his support, then you can light heartedly tell her 'ha nor, even dad also agrees!'... [;)]

Edited by Damienic
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in your mom heart, u are still a little boy. mabe thing will change when u settle down.

 

most mothers still do think of their son as a boy even when they are grown ups....my mum dun fuss over me like in the case of TS, but sometimes when I go out with her occasionally, she will suddenly go off to buy me an ice-cream like she used to do when I was a child..Iam already in my 30's.. [blush]

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Neutral Newbie

I m having this problem with my mother since young, now i already 27 yrs old still the same. I go oversea travel, she will stop me say i waste money travel, life too comfy, only know how to travel, enjoy life etc, for ur info i only go nearby country like bkk, malaysia, 1 yr once, i think its not a lot n costly. i go for road trip to malaysia she will stop me say that will kena rob, kill, buang etc, stay in spore better, i go JB for dinner she will stop me say JB crime rate very high, will kill, rob, i 1 am haven't come home she will call me and ask me go home asap, sleep too late bad for health, i very angry sometime, wonder why my freedom always need to be restricted, i need to tell lies like go friend bbq chalet etc den can stay out for a night or drive my car out of spore secretly, i m a laughing stock among my friends as they always laugh at me that i am mummy boy, so old liao mommy still control me like a 5 yrs old kid... Every nite go for friends gathering confirm cannot stay late etc coz the phone will be bombarded. She even say when i get my flat, move out, she will also control me. I dunno how... My wife very angry also as she start to control my wife behavior now. Anyone can provide some suggestion to solve this life long problem....

 

 

mother very good

 

u can joke with her that if she control too much, u too stressed, how to have grandkids ?

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that's typical of mothers. but as long as you know you are big enough and don't need that sorta care, that's fine. and most importantly, when married, don't ever live with her. it'll ruin your marriage.

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....I go oversea travel, she will stop me say i waste money travel, life too comfy, only know how to travel, enjoy life etc, for ur info i only go nearby country like bkk, malaysia, 1 yr once, i think its not a lot n costly. i go for road trip to malaysia she will stop me say that will kena rob, kill, buang etc, stay in spore better, i go JB for dinner she will stop me say JB crime rate very high, will kill, rob, i ...

 

Try bring her along for your travels and road-trip and JB dinners. Maybe no more naggings, but "when going again ahh ?".

When me & wif brought my mum along to Genting via coach twice, she enjoyed, never say worried about safety.

The 3rd time, we went alone. On the coach ride back, she kept calling say worried about our safety.

 

 

 

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