Disciplining children or child abuse?

[Freestylers09]

how small were u? Must have been big enough to understand "face" LOL a.k.a "dignity"

 

below a certain age, children do not understand this concept, and below that age, it's ok, in fact, better to discipline them immediately rather than wait until go home. How to tell what age? It's the age where they will lie down on the floor and kick and scream in public when u forbid them something. That's the age where they have no concept of "dignity".

 

in order words should know whats call behave and if dont know how to..really kiam pah one?

 

quite logical though

[Latka]

how small were u? Must have been big enough to understand "face" LOL a.k.a "dignity"

 

below a certain age, children do not understand this concept, and below that age, it's ok, in fact, better to discipline them immediately rather than wait until go home. How to tell what age? It's the age where they will lie down on the floor and kick and scream in public when u forbid them something. That's the age where they have no concept of "dignity".

 

 

Ya lar ya lar u win lar.

[Skunk]

haha no offense :)

[Skunk]

in order words should know whats call behave and if dont know how to..really kiam pah one?

 

quite logical though

 

my daughter will even spin on the floor machiam breakdance LOL

 

interestingly, i "breakdanced" as a naughty toddler too lol.....i think being stubborn is hereditary....so when i whack her, i see myself in her, and whack less hard lol

[Skunk]

teach children is like teaching a dog...

 

must cane until obedient lol....

 

unfortunately i didnt do that to my dog so ended up my dog bullies me.

 

my 2 dogs are more obedient than my elder daughter lol

 

teach dog is easy, teach human difficult. More than just whacking lah haha

[Mazda2gal]

It is impt to discipline your child, i have seen so many youngsters with no respect for rules and regulations, nor for anyone, parents, teachers etc. In short, plain spoilt. In the end they go astray, parents cannot control them, turn to filing 'Beyond parental control' with the courts, so that the child gets sent to a home. Or they commit offence and get charged, sentence to jail term and caning.

 

But disciplining is not easy, esp certain kids who are stubborn and violent. Really need lots of patience and master the art of discipline, and must discipline with love, if not the child might become a worse terror, coz he/she cannot feel love, doesn't know why he/she is whacked, only left with feelings of hatred for the parents. Only intelligent, firm, sensible and emotionally stable parents will discipline children well.

[Floweradvisor]

I don't think it is abusing since they are the parents and they know the behavior of their children since they live with them. We just see them only five to fifteen minutes maybe, but the parents might know their children more than us. It is their way to discipline their kids and if they do not do them, their children may become worse.

[Amuze]

But most parents will not believe that their kids (may) have a mental disorder..most times professional help, helps.

[Typhoonz]

Yesterday I witnessed a rather disturbing series of incidents.

 

#1 - A boy of about 3-4 years old ran out of the restaurant his parents were dining in. The father gave chase and yelled loudly for the boy to get back. When the boy refused, the father grabbed him and carried him back to the restaurant.

 

#2 - The boy kept crying in the restaurant. The dad carried him out of the restaurant and repeatedly slapped his face until the cheek was bright red.

 

#3 - At the lift lobby, the boy who was still crying gestured that he wanted the father to carry him. The father picked up the boy and threw him onto a couch instead.

 

Admittedly, I have no idea what is the head and tail of this story. However, I felt very disturbed watching it. In my mind these actions are actually child abuse, agree?

 

#1 is normal but #2 & #3 has crossed the line...

[Friedpiggy]

I think cane only works below primary school. At that age, I think from P2 or 3 onwards i would throw the cane away down the rubbish chute...its amusing now thinking back my parents get angry wanna whack me but cannot find the cane lol.

 

Its even more amusing that they realise that i must have made the cane disappear so they bought new ones and hid it somewhere which they think i didnt know and i would always ensure it would go missing again.

 

Anyway, now i sell handphones at a heartland mall. lai lai trade in also can...

 

 

[Matrixx]

long long ago - this is call disciplining your child. Nowadays - this is call child abuse

 

 

 

Hahaha, I agree with you. When I was young, kenna caning every other day when we did something wrong. When donning school uniforms, everybody will see the cane marks on the legs. Instead of pity, you get a lot of "O-Bi-Good".

But I agree that this was common back then. Cannot apply now

[A_korusawa]

I used to think so too, but now no longer. I think using hands is better. And i've justified why. Care to share any justification? Or else it's just a baseless opinion, right?

 

i think u got me on the wrong point.

from yr pt, i agree wif u . . . .

 

but my point is - have you ever asked yr child how they'd remember the bruises marks left on their body?

they will remember the cane you used to cane them. yes, u can discard that cane.

 

but if its from your hand . . . . can you imagine how they will 'look' at yr hands? that look will stain at your hand!...............this is my point.

 

however, i cannot deliver this message to all parents, nor this will be well received......i.e. no rites or wrong!

 

kudos to all parents............

[Good-Carbuyer]

Yesterday I witnessed a rather disturbing series of incidents.

 

#1 - A boy of about 3-4 years old ran out of the restaurant his parents were dining in. The father gave chase and yelled loudly for the boy to get back. When the boy refused, the father grabbed him and carried him back to the restaurant.

 

#2 - The boy kept crying in the restaurant. The dad carried him out of the restaurant and repeatedly slapped his face until the cheek was bright red.

 

#3 - At the lift lobby, the boy who was still crying gestured that he wanted the father to carry him. The father picked up the boy and threw him onto a couch instead.

 

Admittedly, I have no idea what is the head and tail of this story. However, I felt very disturbed watching it. In my mind these actions are actually child abuse, agree?

Once I saw a man (not sure if the father) repeatedly pushed a boy into the path of my car while I was driving behind them. He keep pushing the boy each time the boy tried to avoid my car

I believe both men had about the same parental maturity, if any

[A_korusawa]

Well said, I support you. I am parents of 3 kids and I whack them if scolding doesnt help, and this will be my last resort. I dont believe in talking to the children cos they are still a kid and they dont understand what you are trying to say. I am always the bad guy in the family and that is fine with me.

 

THANKS!

 

it was once said: 4-7 yrs old determine the personality of a child, 14-17 yrs old determine the character of the kid, 21 to grave determine the opportunity/quality of his/her life!

 

yes, kids nowadays think very fast (we were not as fast as them - for good or bad).

- so i told myself that corporate punishment stands 70% against 30% lecturing/reasoning for age 4-7

- then it'd be 30% punishment against 70% lecturing/reasoning when they reaches 7-14.

- well, i'd stretch punishment more for boys. try to minimise for girls

- from 14-17, this is the most difficult time - u have to outwit them, but still instill fear on them!

- 17 onwards.......u have to be their best fren

- 21 onwards.......u have to be their best & worst business partners/stakeholders

 

i told myself that if i can manage all above, i will be of no regrets what they turn out to be - fillial or cruel to me......

 

u c, i never use the word: "RESPECT".......cos this is not determine by parents, it shud be by their kids' heart!

 

what TS see - its not a bad father afterall, at least he cares to hit him for good

the worst parents - they dun even bother to care or discpline their kids when they are wrong!

Rem: spare the rod, spoil the brat

 

those whom had their father beaten them upside down & turn them now into the upright person you are.....you are so lucky!

imagine, u witnessed how yr father squandered his $ in womanizing instead of caring yr studies - he dun even bother to care.....................so which one is worst?

 

TS - what say u? cheers!

Edited September 16, 2010 by A_korusawa

[Ironstarz]

Please think twice before slapping your kid. I was slapped by my dad before when i was young and experienced hearing loss for a day at my right ear. It did not help when i grew older, my hearing was not that good anymore. And i am not joking here.

[Weiming89]

Ya.. I agree that parents if wanna hit, hit hands and leg is ok..slapping of face abit-.- .... My cousin who is like pri 2... His father is a v nice guy...always smily and stuff treat the family vv ni e too..but occasionally, my cousin would do stupid things like scold his mum(yes!) or like just throw a big fuss in public or wat..my uncle would be so angry tat he would slap him in his face a few time.. Yes..and it turn red..but i oso dunno y he dun hit other place but face.. My uncle is a v civilised abit book worm looking high managment manager.. Dunno y only went he hit his son he changed to another person and look scary

 

ur uncle is bruce banner...hahaha...jkjk

[1l0v3you]

My father used to use his slipper or shoe to throw at me and wack me when i am naughty outside..at home or in car, cane is uzed and often i have alot alot of cane marks all over my hand and leg..it make me so paisei when i go sch..others might think my father is child abusin me badly..now i am 23, i always look back at times i used to get beaten up..now i apperciate wat my father do to discipline me..make me study..and not go the wrong way... If my father not do this to me..i thinm now i wun be in local uni, i might be at some ah beng shop selling handphones....

 

And yes, next time if my children is naughty, i will wack them..but oso not too hard..apporiate beating mAkes oneearn mistake and learn.. U think the father not pain went beat the child ar..da zai shou shan , tong zai xin li

putting people down to make yourself look/feel better.

disgusting.

Edited October 4, 2010 by 1l0v3you

[1l0v3you]

I think cane only works below primary school. At that age, I think from P2 or 3 onwards i would throw the cane away down the rubbish chute...its amusing now thinking back my parents get angry wanna whack me but cannot find the cane lol.

 

Its even more amusing that they realise that i must have made the cane disappear so they bought new ones and hid it somewhere which they think i didnt know and i would always ensure it would go missing again.

 

Anyway, now i sell handphones at a heartland mall. lai lai trade in also can...

ehhh?

i stay nearby hahaha. sekali i buy my iphone screen protector from you one LOL.