All the best to parents of PSLE candidates

[firefly20]

20 hours ago, Chongster said:

i am actually super glad no more T score for my sons.  at least still got chance to 鸡胡...

I can understand where are you coming from. Personally know of a few female friends who gave up their successful careers all for that 3-digit figure.

Sometimes the expectations are not met despite the sacrifices and then there'll be a great deal of unhappiness for both parent and child.

I think overall AL is better for mental health (even though I'm very curious what my nephew will get if it is T-score). Lol

[Lala81]

1 hour ago, firefly20 said:

I think overall AL is better for mental health (even though I'm very curious what my nephew will get if it is T-score). Lol

From the older system, I know so many pple with scores ranging from 250-280+. 

I personally think it's all relatively random. Just some are more conscientious or careful during exams than others. Some are particularly gifted in math/science but weaker in languages (or the dreaded Chinese). Some are all rounders but intellectually not impressive in one field.

Your IQ can be roughly around 120+ to mensa levels. I would roughly approximate a 250+ to 260 score as about IQ 120.

[Lala81]

1 hour ago, firefly20 said:

I can understand where are you coming from. Personally know of a few female friends who gave up their successful careers all for that 3-digit figure.

Sometimes the expectations are not met despite the sacrifices and then there'll be a great deal of unhappiness for both parent and child.

Haha so jialat meh, unhappiness?

If your child really underperformed, probably would be worst if the parents didn't maximise their efforts right.
Best not to be too demanding too. Whole aim of formal education is not to quench a curiosity for learning. 

[Flying_genie]

On 9/10/2020 at 10:55 PM, Tianmo said:

Yah, beside ACS (I), the only other IB Sch I know is SJI.  The rest of the IPs go take A level.... 

 

You are partially correct. IB offered in these local schools :
ACS(I) - MGS will join the ACS(I) boys for years 5/6
SJI - IB offered in year 5/6 (their school fees are the highest)
SOTA
Sports School 

Edited September 13, 2020 by Flying_genie

[firefly20]

39 minutes ago, Lala81 said:

Haha so jialat meh, unhappiness?

If your child really underperformed, probably would be worst if the parents didn't maximise their efforts right.
Best not to be too demanding too. Whole aim of formal education is not to quench a curiosity for learning. 

One parent I know quitted her Dir level job as she was fixated at a particular sch for her gal. No other sch, must be that one only.

Her gal’s result though respectable, wasn’t high enough to meet the COP of the targeted sch which resulted in a lot of negative feelings between them later on which was totally regrettable. 

I got another friend who quitted from her CFO job to coach her son full time 1 yr b4 PSLE. In the end, he did well enough to enroll to an above avg sec sch and to her, that sacrifice was worth it as he was in danger of going N(A) based on her sensing. 

So same sacrifice but different outcomes. The gal actually scored higher than the boy but the sentiments was different due to different expectations. 

[Lala81]

14 minutes ago, firefly20 said:

One parent I know quitted her Dir level job as she was fixated at a particular sch for her gal. No other sch, must be that one only.

Her gal’s result though respectable, wasn’t high enough to meet the COP of the targeted sch which resulted in a lot of negative feelings between them later on which was totally regrettable. 

I got another friend who quitted from her CFO job to coach her son full time 1 yr b4 PSLE. In the end, he did well enough to enroll to an above avg sec sch and to her, that sacrifice was worth it as he was in danger of going N(A) based on her sensing. 

So same sacrifice but different outcomes. The gal actually scored higher than the boy but the sentiments was different due to different expectations. 

Haha my wife is sahm and plan to do so for the foreseeable future leh. Though her occupational prospects nowhere close to the two you mentioned.

Haha if feel bitter will have ten times more haha. No need to be like that one lah. It's just a sacrifice for the kids. 

While it's reasonable to have expectations for the child. There's no need to weigh them down. For psle level. I won't even give them a goal in that sense. If they are of that level, they will get to it eventually. 

[Chongster]

21 minutes ago, Lala81 said:

Haha my wife is sahm and plan to do so for the foreseeable future leh. Though her occupational prospects nowhere close to the two you mentioned.

Haha if feel bitter will have ten times more haha. No need to be like that one lah. It's just a sacrifice for the kids. 

While it's reasonable to have expectations for the child. There's no need to weigh them down. For psle level. I won't even give them a goal in that sense. If they are of that level, they will get to it eventually. 

the child will also have expectations, and aspirations, and by P6, peer pressure.  And parents sometimes try to harness that, thinking since you got the aspirations (and hopefully motivation), i will pump in my resources to help you get there.  which is nothing wrong i guess, but parents must also teach kids how to deal with emotions and with disappointment and failures.

[Wind30]

9 hours ago, firefly20 said:

One parent I know quitted her Dir level job as she was fixated at a particular sch for her gal. No other sch, must be that one only.

Her gal’s result though respectable, wasn’t high enough to meet the COP of the targeted sch which resulted in a lot of negative feelings between them later on which was totally regrettable. 

I got another friend who quitted from her CFO job to coach her son full time 1 yr b4 PSLE. In the end, he did well enough to enroll to an above avg sec sch and to her, that sacrifice was worth it as he was in danger of going N(A) based on her sensing. 

So same sacrifice but different outcomes. The gal actually scored higher than the boy but the sentiments was different due to different expectations. 

I also have an old colleague for took a year off to tutor her kid. Her elder kid got DSA for both RGS and Nayang via academic. The kid is like school team in Tennis, and chess, enters national chess competitions. her younger is also in GEP.

Ultimately the competition is tougher than my time, especially at the top band. 

My wife kid of blames me when I refused to sign up my elder for learning lab, now trying to ask me to sign the younger for learning lab, but my elder opposes 🙂  say it is unfair....

To me, my thinking is different. Don't try your 100%... if you try and scrape into whatever stream/school, it will always be tough for you as you might be the lousiest student there. If you try 80% and get into the school and find you are lagging, you can always up it to 90% and get into the middle. That was my rationale when I was growing up (I was probably just lazy) but it has worked well for me. I never had much stress in my study life following my philosophy. I really think there are bad effects from trying 100% and knowing your "limit". 

The issue with this attitude is that you tend have lousy CCAs, no leadership position, etc... Which I think is a pretty big issue. Hoping to correct his when my girl goes to Secondary school.

 

 

 

 

[Wind30]

9 hours ago, Lala81 said:

Haha my wife is sahm and plan to do so for the foreseeable future leh. Though her occupational prospects nowhere close to the two you mentioned.

Haha if feel bitter will have ten times more haha. No need to be like that one lah. It's just a sacrifice for the kids. 

While it's reasonable to have expectations for the child. There's no need to weigh them down. For psle level. I won't even give them a goal in that sense. If they are of that level, they will get to it eventually. 

unfortunately my kid wants to get to rgs... all her friends are going there. I think a lot of the students have a "school" they want to go so the expectation is there and real.

 

[Chongster]

8 minutes ago, Wind30 said:

unfortunately my kid wants to get to rgs... all her friends are going there. I think a lot of the students have a "school" they want to go so the expectation is there and real.

 

Yeah at P4 will start to see this.  My oldest says he wants  to go Hwa Chong but is still saying the name of the school wrong.  
 

I think the competition and syllabus is really tough too, but then you got kids who evidently could hack it plus still have 2 ECAs and school team and and pick up various other enrichments so what gives ?

my only concern is actually my kids end up gangster schools.  

[Weez911]

9 hours ago, Lala81 said:

While it's reasonable to have expectations for the child. There's no need to weigh them down. For psle level. I won't even give them a goal in that sense. If they are of that level, they will get to it eventually. 

Yep I totally subscribe to this. I think I can even prorate that to the rest of a person's education all the way to Uni.

I have seen many people with average education do well in life. One is a very close example, my sis, who did not manage to get into local uni but she is now heading a department at a bank.

On the other hand, I have seen the majority of my ex-CHS/HCJC classmates doing just ok in their career. They are mostly engineers, educators, salesmen and a few property agents. Just a handful of them made it to the top of the pile as Director in govt agencies, Big 4 audit partner, oil trader and HOD in banks. When I was young, I always thought most of my fellow classmates will become successful later but that is not the case today.

Anecdotal of course, as these are just personal experiences. I think education is still important, but a person's ability to do well in their career is far more than what is printed on a piece of paper. The industry, the person's EQ and drive, and the job itself all play a bigger part later.  

Edited September 14, 2020 by Weez911

[Wind30]

2 minutes ago, Weez911 said:

Yep I totally subscribe to this. I think I can even prorate that to the rest of a person's education all the way to Uni.

I have seen many people with average education do well in life. One is a very close example, my sis, who did not manage to get into local uni but she is now heading a department at a bank.

On the other hand, I have seen the majority of my ex-CHS/HCJC classmates doing just ok in their career. They are mostly engineers, educators, salesmen and a few property agents. Just a handful of them made it to the top of the pile as Director in govt agencies, Big 4 audit partner, oil trader and HOD in banks. When I was young, I always thought most of my fellow classmates will become successful later but that is not the case today.

Anecdotal of course, as these are just personal experiences. I think education is still important, but a person's ability to do well in their career is far more than what is printed on a piece of paper. I think the industry, the person's EQ and drive, and the job itself all play a part later.  

Percentage lah... I am pretty sure my ri classmates does much better on average than my Heng ah Khe bong primary school classmates.

nothing is fixed in stone but parents always want to give their kids a leg up..

[Lala81]

9 minutes ago, Wind30 said:

unfortunately my kid wants to get to rgs... all her friends are going there. I think a lot of the students have a "school" they want to go so the expectation is there and real.

 

This is intrinsic motivation. Perfectly fine. Whether she makes or doesn't make it, it's easier for her to gain confidence or deal with the failure subsequently. 

Extrinsic motivation where the parent is fixated on one school or target is not healthy. Esp if only have one target. It can backfire as often as it works. Though to be fair, kids usually will buy in cos they want to please their parents and trust their parents' judgement. 

 

Probably the kids in these more competitive schools are like that, I came from a neighbourhood Pri school previously. I didn't even know any of the schools except that I went to HCI for some event and their school was huge lol. But different times. 

My wife didn't do particularly well in psle last time, 240+, went to neighbourhood school. So she just went all out in academics and went to a better jc then. 

 

If your kid wanted to go to an affiliated school (where most of her friends going) but had the grades to go to a better school, I probably would opt for latter and overrule my kid. 

[Lala81]

35 minutes ago, Wind30 said:

 

To me, my thinking is different. Don't try your 100%... if you try and scrape into whatever stream/school, it will always be tough for you as you might be the lousiest student there. If you try 80% and get into the school and find you are lagging, you can always up it to 90% and get into the middle. That was my rationale when I was growing up (I was probably just lazy) but it has worked well for me. I never had much stress in my study life following my philosophy. I really think there are bad effects from trying 100% and knowing your "limit". 

I would say I won't force my kids to be all academic or always gunning to be top few in class or what not. My wife and friends all agree that unless it's something u naturally want to do, the more successful people don't really sweat the small stuff. 

You don't want to bring up the rear. But being constantly trying to be no. 1 is not necessarily the healthiest practice. 

My wife was extremely gritty in terms of this in sec school and subsequently jc. Her whole school life is dominated by maintaining her academics. By her uni years, she just made sure she got the bare minimum, 2nd lower. She doesn't find it the way she lead her schooling life particularly healthy. 

I would ask them to diversify. pursue an active school life. Ultimately u don't remember the exams or academics. Haha it maybe in fact be more purposeful to improve your social networks then. Know more people. See how they succeed or fail also. Given how small sg is, its more likely the networking has an outsized effect for you. Lol

Edited September 14, 2020 by Lala81

[Lala81]

29 minutes ago, Weez911 said:

Yep I totally subscribe to this. I think I can even prorate that to the rest of a person's education all the way to Uni.

I have seen many people with average education do well in life. One is a very close example, my sis, who did not manage to get into local uni but she is now heading a department at a bank.

On the other hand, I have seen the majority of my ex-CHS/HCJC classmates doing just ok in their career. They are mostly engineers, educators, salesmen and a few property agents. Just a handful of them made it to the top of the pile as Director in govt agencies, Big 4 audit partner, oil trader and HOD in banks. When I was young, I always thought most of my fellow classmates will become successful later but that is not the case today.

Anecdotal of course, as these are just personal experiences. I think education is still important, but a person's ability to do well in their career is far more than what is printed on a piece of paper. The industry, the person's EQ and drive, and the job itself all play a bigger part later.  

I would hope my kid gets to a better school. Simple just 近朱者赤，近墨者黑。I can't control the upside for my child. I can only limit the downside. 

Then don't be a bottom feeder, cos it's bad for confidence. So being at your natural level (as what Wind30 said) helps especially if we don't want to overload the academics. 

Once u reach there, middle of the pack if you want to. You want to be the first few in class or what, do as you please. But I will caution them not to put in overarching effort. 

 

[mersaylee]

Parents Should Leave (it to the) Examinee

I had it easy back then but my grades suffered...from then on, I studied a bit harder but played even harder in every milestone...

Enjoyed my entire school life from kindergarten to poly, less the degree part...im still a happee person...shiok!😆

Guide then, don’t try to influence...can’t beat “influenza“ one...one word from them holds more weight than your granny paragraph of words in their minds
 

Just be watchful with the kind of friends they befriend with...teach them how to open the third eye to read people’s character and personality properly 

[firefly20]

 

28 minutes ago, Wind30 said:

To me, my thinking is different. Don't try your 100%... if you try and scrape into whatever stream/school, it will always be tough for you as you might be the lousiest student there. If you try 80% and get into the school and find you are lagging, you can always up it to 90% and get into the middle. That was my rationale when I was growing up (I was probably just lazy) but it has worked well for me. I never had much stress in my study life following my philosophy. I really think there are bad effects from trying 100% and knowing your "limit". 

The issue with this attitude is that you tend have lousy CCAs, no leadership position, etc... Which I think is a pretty big issue. Hoping to correct his when my girl goes to Secondary school.

At sec sch level, the best thing that could happen is when a child has cultivated an inherent motivation to do well for himself - not to earn parents' praises, not for sch's glory, but to work hard bcoz he want to push personal limits. This hunger has to be self-driven, and not bcoz of incessant naggings by parents.

While I feel that my son is doing relatively well in an IP sch, he hasn't developed this hunger to truly excel yet (or will never have) but that's totally fine with me. Academics are okay but zero interest in building up any CCA leadership portfolios. Ultimately it's his life to behold and I've resisted the temptation to live life vicariously thru him. It's just not fair to do so. During my time, the prime uni courses are med and law. He's not interested in either and my wife and I will abide by his wishes even though we think he has a fighting chance for both if he's keen. I think one of the saddest things in life is to pursue a career one has no interest in just bcoz it's prestigious. 

There's a saying that one is the average of 5 friends he mixes with the most. I think as long as one's child enrolls in a good sec sch (even non-IP ones), he won't go too wrong with that kind of environment. In sec sch and beyond, some of our students have difficulty coping with rising expectations from multiple areas, coupled with hormonal changes and a lack of life's experiences to cope with challenges, they may end up doing stupid things. This is a real concern and we have to guard against this.

 

[Lala81]

20 minutes ago, mersaylee said:

Parents Should Leave (it to the) Examinee

I had it easy back then but my grades suffered...from then on, I studied a bit harder but played even harder in every milestone...

Enjoyed my entire school life from kindergarten to poly, less the degree part...im still a happee person...shiok!😆

Guide then, don’t try to influence...can’t beat “influenza“ one...one word from them holds more weight than your granny paragraph of words in their minds
 

Just be watchful with the kind of friends they befriend with...teach them how to open the third eye to read people’s character and personality properly 

Haha don't study hard. Don't play hard also then how? 

The friends part is really limiting the downside. Cos like u said, avoiding toxic friends is something they may not understand at that age.