All the best to parents of PSLE candidates

[mersaylee]

4 minutes ago, Lala81 said:

Haha don't study hard. Don't play hard also then how? 

The friends part is really limiting the downside. Cos like u said, avoiding toxic friends is something they may not understand at that age. 

Nuah to me is a form of zen practice 

I practiced that in between study hard and play harder... 

[Weez911]

9 minutes ago, Lala81 said:

Then don't be a bottom feeder, cos it's bad for confidence. So being at your natural level (as what Wind30 said) helps especially if we don't want to overload the academics. 

Once u reach there, middle of the pack if you want to. You want to be the first few in class or what, do as you please. But I will caution them not to put in overarching effort. 

I think it is hard to predict the bottom feeders. During my time, they put all the 270-290s in 1A, 268-289 in 1B, 266-267 in 1C, 264-265 in 1D... all the way to 1M. The margin is so close it is impossible to know whether we will be at the top or bottom of the class, or to be at a "natural" level, as everyone will be studying very hard just to keep up with the rest.

I was top few in my cohort at my primary, and confidence-wise, I felt good. The thing was, I would never have known how I will perform in CHS because everyone there is as good as me. I was about middle-ranked in my class.

There are a few contrasting thoughts on this. My wife felt it is good for kids to compete at an early level with other brilliant kids. I told my wife a lot of ex-classmates were quite brilliant in school but quite ordinary in their career, hence the competition in school was not really a good proxy for their future, IMO of course. Whether big fish small pond, or big fish big pond, and how it plays on the kids' confidence, is really unknown until the kids grow up to tell their own stories.

I do agree with you on the possibility of meeting gangsters in a bad school, but then again, I was from a primary school in Redhill. There were pri 7 and 8 students who were gangsters, and they fight in the canteen once every few days. There were also gangsters in my army platoon, but they don't really influence me in any way. That said, it's not that I want my kids to study in a notorious school (if there is such a thing in Singapore), but I just don't think it is a big factor in a person's ultimate success in life. Many parents are just overdoing this IMO. 

[Lala81]

3 minutes ago, mersaylee said:

Nuah to me is a form of zen practice 

I practiced that in between study hard and play harder... 

I'm most worried if they are apathetic. 萧条. No zest for life. If liddat in school, go to working world is ten times tougher. 

[Lala81]

13 minutes ago, Weez911 said:

I think it is hard to predict the bottom feeders. During my time, they put all the 270-290s in 1A, 268-289 in 1B, 266-267 in 1C, 264-265 in 1D... all the way to 1M. The margin is so close it is impossible to know whether we will be at the top or bottom of the class, or to be at a "natural" level, as everyone will be studying very hard just to keep up with the rest.

I was top few in my cohort at my primary, and confidence-wise, I felt good. The thing was, I would never have known how I will perform in CHS because everyone there is as good as me. I was about middle-ranked in my class.

There are a few contrasting thoughts on this. My wife felt it is good for kids to compete at an early level with other brilliant kids. I told my wife a lot of ex-classmates were quite brilliant in school but quite ordinary in their career, hence the competition in school was not really a good proxy for their future, IMO of course. Whether big fish small pond, or big fish big pond, and how it plays on the kids' confidence, is really unknown until the kids grow up to tell their own stories.

I do agree with you on the possibility of meeting gangsters in a bad school, but then again, I was from a primary school in Redhill. There were pri 7 and 8 students who were gangsters, and they fight in the canteen once every few days. There were also gangsters in my army platoon, but they don't really influence me in any way. That said, it's not that I want my kids to study in a notorious school (if there is such a thing in Singapore), but I just don't think it is a big factor in a person's ultimate success in life. Many parents are just overdoing this IMO. 

peer influence is not strong in primary school. Cos kids are still looking upwards to parents. My primary school also had 7-8s. Also have to use heavy rattan to cane them. Fighting in school or just outside school gang fight. 

Competition. I'm divided. I'm not a particularly competitive person but I felt that the environment is positive for me in general. 

I didn't go to a neighbourhood secondary school so I can't comment also. There's always positives in any situation. I would just not be the 2-3 smallest fish in a big pond. Neither would I want to be a big fish in a small pond beyond the beginner level. 

And like I said acquaintances and networking can also be a possible tool to use in future in professional world. The 6 degrees of separation is much smaller in Sg. 

 

Edited September 14, 2020 by Lala81

[mersaylee]

5 minutes ago, Lala81 said:

I'm most worried if they are apathetic. 萧条. No zest for life. If liddat in school, go to working world is ten times tougher. 

Don worry too much as worries can take care of itself one. Their life compass very haywire at this young stage...tendancy towards monkey see monkey do is high

Must have confidence in your non academic teachings...they do listen to our preachings albeit reluctant to admit it yet display otherwise 

My wife tends to give too many instructions at one go till they don't know which one to do first then they just don't do any and wait for the next one later😁

I'd give one at a time with a deadline with non negotiable compliant - actually I do make provision but never a need for extension

 

[Wind30]

30 minutes ago, firefly20 said:

 

There's a saying that one is the average of 5 friends he mixes with the most. I think as long as one's child enrolls in a good sec sch (even non-IP ones), he won't go too wrong with that kind of environment. In sec sch and beyond, some of our students have difficulty coping with rising expectations from multiple areas, coupled with hormonal changes and a lack of life's experiences to cope with challenges, they may end up doing stupid things. This is a real concern and we have to guard against this.

that is the main point of going to RI/RGS.... Every student there is 260+... no ah beng/ah lian.... zero change of mixing with the wrong crowd.

I can still remember when I was in Army, my mum freaked out when I invited a friend  I got to know for Video arcades to stay over and play video games. she thought he was a drug addict.... until now I still remember after so many years... But I was already like 18 at that time. parents worry about the same things since beginning of time

[Mason016]

2 hours ago, Wind30 said:

that is the main point of going to RI/RGS.... Every student there is 260+... no ah beng/ah lian.... zero change of mixing with the wrong crowd.

I can still remember when I was in Army, my mum freaked out when I invited a friend  I got to know for Video arcades to stay over and play video games. she thought he was a drug addict.... until now I still remember after so many years... But I was already like 18 at that time. parents worry about the same things since beginning of time

Not true lah. RGS has its share of lians, geeks, normal average folk, ASKs and daughters of powerful people.

[mersaylee]

10 minutes ago, Mason016 said:

Not true lah. RGS has its share of lians, geeks, normal average folk, ASKs and daughters of powerful people.

Anal the belle... 🙊

[mersaylee]

2 hours ago, Wind30 said:

that is the main point of going to RI/RGS.... Every student there is 260+... no ah beng/ah lian.... zero change of mixing with the wrong crowd.

I can still remember when I was in Army, my mum freaked out when I invited a friend  I got to know for Video arcades to stay over and play video games. she thought he was a drug addict.... until now I still remember after so many years... But I was already like 18 at that time. parents worry about the same things since beginning of time

My wife nearly had her name engraved on the plague in her primary school hall because of her good grades back then...could only managed to get into a below average class in rgs... then she realised the meaning of "a higher mountain behind a high mountain" 

[Lala81]

3 minutes ago, Mason016 said:

Not true lah. RGS has its share of lians, geeks, normal average folk, ASKs and daughters of powerful people.

There's pai kias in RI also lah. But just a few lol

[Lala81]

14 minutes ago, mersaylee said:

My wife nearly had her name engraved on the plague in her primary school hall because of her good grades back then...could only managed to get into a below average class in rgs... then she realised the meaning of "a higher mountain behind a high mountain" 

True I was a big fish in my small pond neighbourhood school. Even if the girls sometimes scored higher, I always thought I was better. 

Haha humbling experience to go and find out u are a very average fish. 

[Wind30]

13 minutes ago, Lala81 said:

True I was a big fish in my small pond neighbourhood school. Even if the girls sometimes scored higher, I always thought I was better. 

Haha humbling experience to go and find out u are a very average fish. 

I never thought I was an average fish, no matter the pond I am in, for math and science. I always thought I do better the better my class mates and that is what drives me academically.

If I look at my academic performance over the years, I did the best when my classmates were the smartest. I think getting into a bigger/better pond is important if you want to excel

 

 

[Throttle2]

I dont think too hard about such things. Different people develop themselves in different stages of life.

i just want my kids to be happy and hold good values and culture. Thats more important than any formal education they hold.

For example, dont become like the son of a recently retired high rank corporate fella. 😄

[Chongster]

47 minutes ago, Lala81 said:

There's pai kias in RI also lah. But just a few lol

their pai kias not rank and file ones, are usually appointment holders. 

[mersaylee]

28 minutes ago, Chongster said:

their pai kias not rank and file ones, are usually appointment holders. 

Hearsay got bodyguard one...some even carry firecrackers one...

[Heartlander]

My wife just informed me that my youngest girl being offered a DSA placement in DHS for CO (under guzheng), and basketball in TJC. Now thinking hard over which to choose. Happy dilemma.

[firefly20]

7 hours ago, Heartlander said:

My wife just informed me that my youngest girl being offered a DSA placement in DHS for CO (under guzheng), and basketball in TJC. Now thinking hard over which to choose. Happy dilemma.

Congrats! I've friends with kids in DHS. Understand that the environment there is very nurturing. Their A level results for Project Work and Geo are astonishing.

Not too such about TJC but they should be good as well. Is the sch currently under upgrade? They have a niche program for wall-climbing I think.

I think the bottom line is whether your gal is more comfortable in an SAP or more western kind of environment.

[firefly20]

12 hours ago, mersaylee said:

Parents Should Leave (it to the) Examinee

I had it easy back then but my grades suffered...from then on, I studied a bit harder but played even harder in every milestone...

Enjoyed my entire school life from kindergarten to poly, less the degree part...im still a happee person...shiok!😆

Guide then, don’t try to influence...can’t beat “influenza“ one...one word from them holds more weight than your granny paragraph of words in their minds
 

Just be watchful with the kind of friends they befriend with...teach them how to open the third eye to read people’s character and personality properly 

The trouble is, nowadays with IP, PSLE is the new O level. Little wonder why some parents are so stressed over this 4-letter word.

So a program that was originally hatched out of goodwill became an albatross around our kids' neck.