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Sharing of Good Jokes

Byteslurve

By Byteslurve,
in Lite & EZ

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Byteslurve

Byteslurve

Supersonic
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There were two cannibals who captured a man.

They decided it would be fair if they started eating from opposite ends.

After a few minutes, the one who started at the head asked the other one, "How's it going down there?"

And the other one replies, "I'm having a ball!"

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Byteslurve

Byteslurve

Supersonic
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A farmer is walking with a prospective buyer when they see a beautiful pig in the yard, except it has a wooden leg.

The buyer asks, "Why the wooden leg?"

The farmer replies, "That pig is so smart, I let it drive the kids to school." 
"Great, but why the wooden leg?" 
"The pig is so smart it has a degree in horticulture and philosophy." 
"Amazing! But why the bloody wooden leg?" 
"Well when you have a pig that smart you don't eat it all at once!"

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Byteslurve

Byteslurve

Supersonic
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Two old friends crossed paths after not seeing one another for almost a decade. 
Utkarsh: "What are you doing these days?" 
Sparsh: "PHD." 
Utkarsh: "Wow! You're a doctor!" 
Sparsh: "No, Pizza Home Delivery."

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Chickenfarm

Chickenfarm

Turbocharged

Black ant and white ant got to look for new homes because of heavy downpour.

 

They found a bed where a couple was making out.

 

Black ant entered a one eyed snake whilst white ant entered a hei feng dong.

 

Next day both emerged from their "shelters" cursing and swearing.

 

Black ant complaint to white: "KNN hiar last nite I went into this long long mrt tunnel with no light and all of a sudden, earthquake like nobody's business"

 

White ant retorted: "KNN hiar like that also you complain...last nite I entered this very dark bushy cave and just before I could take a nap, this stupid dragon came charging in!! I fight fight fight but the dragon kept cuming back"

 

Black ant asked: "then what happened??"

 

White ant: "Of course I won the fight lah but the bloody dragon spat on me before leaving!!"

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Byteslurve

Byteslurve

Supersonic
  • Author

A man walks into a bar and sits down.

He asks the bartender, "Can I have a cigarette?"

The bartender replies, "Sure, the cigarette machine is over there."

So he walks over to the machine and as he is about to order a cigarette, the machine suddenly says, "Oi, you bloody idiot."

The man says with surprise in his voice, "That's not very nice."

He returns to his bar stool without a cigarette and asks the bartender for some peanuts.

The bartender passes the man a bowl of peanuts and the man hears one of the peanuts speak, "Ooh, I like your hair."

The man says to the bartender, "Hey, what's going on here? Your cigarette machine is insulting me and this peanut is coming on to me. Why's this?"

The bartender replies, "Oh, that's because the machine is out of order and the peanuts are complementary."

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Byteslurve

Byteslurve

Supersonic
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A disciple went to his master and said, "I have served you faithfully for ten years. Now I have a wish: give me something to eat which will never end."

His master said, "Here, have some chewing gum."

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Uncle2

Uncle2

Hypersonic
Have u seen this? Interesting .... Haha

Just for laugh !!

 

In Singapore, majority of us live in *HURRIEDLY DESIGNED BUILDINGS (HDB)*, constantly

*UNDERGOING REMEDIAL ARCHITECTURE (URA)*. We need to *PAY AND PAY (PAP)*. Not only do we have to pay and pay, we  *PAY UNTIL BROKE (PUB)*. Our roads are managed by people who *PURPOSELY WANT to DIG (PWD)*. 

 

To own a car, we need to 

*CUT ON ENTERTAINMENT (COE)*. Driving on our roads, we can't afford the *EXPENSIVE ROAD POLICY (ERP)*. The expressway is 

 *CONGESTED THROUGHOUT EVERYDAY (CTE)* If you don't own a car, you need to take the *MAD RUSH TRANSPORT (MRT)*, OR take a *SLOW BUS SERVICE (SBS)* which is run by those who require us *NOT TO USE CASH (NTUC)*. Luckily, despite the frequent rail breakdowns, they have the *LET'S TRY AGAIN (LTA)* spirit.  Not to worry in the end, we have  *CASH PROVIDED FUNERAL (CPF)* to leave this world with dignity.

 

This is the life of a normal *Singaporean!* 

 

Pass around and make your friends laugh!
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keanie

keanie

Turbocharged

A kampung chick once asked its mum: Ibu, why do we have only one name. All of us are called ayam.

Whereas in humans everyone has a different name.

 

Mummy hen's reply: Child, humans are given one name while alive; we are different. Even though when we are alive we are given only one name. But in death we have so many names:

 

Ayam Goreng, Ayam Bakar, Ayam Percik, Ayam Pang-gan, Sate Ayam, Kari Ayam, Rendang Ayam, Ayam Pedas and Banyak lagi, nak.

We even have English names - Kentucky, Texas, Popeye & Arnold!!

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Carbon82

Carbon82

Moderator
(edited)

LololololoL

8th most efficient government in siphoning $$$ from national project. The report should be right lah... [laugh] [laugh] [laugh] Edited by Carbon82
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