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Sharing of Good Jokes

Byteslurve

By Byteslurve,
in Lite & EZ

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Picnic06-Biante15

Picnic06-Biante15

Supersonic
(edited)

Hokkien couple from Klang arrive at US immigration....

Officer asked : " Do you have fever ? "

turning to the old man....

Old man don't speak English....

Officer asked again : " Do you have a fever !? "

Irritated wife shouted back in Hokkien : " E Boh LA !!! "

 

Part II

 

Annoyed, the immgration officer asked for their ID...

and she said in Hokkien, "Dengue ah? Have!"..... (teng ki ah, I have)

Both kena quarantiner for 1 year ...... [grin]

Edited by Picnic06
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ins1dious

ins1dious

Turbocharged

A Chinese old man [scholar] arrived at London Airport about to clear Immigration, the British Immigration Officer point at his Immigration Card "sex" space being left blank...........

 

Officer: Why you leave it blank (still pointing at the immigration card "sex" space) [confused]

Chinese Old Man: Very.....Very.....Sorry......Sir...........I can do sometime only [sweatdrop]

Officer: What is your gender ? A Male or Female [mad]

Chinese Old Man: No....No....Sir.......Always Female [:/]

 

Here's a similar one;

 

An arab at airport: - Name? - Emir. - Sex? - Three to five times a week. - No, no, I mean: male or female? - Yes... male, female, sometimes camel. - Holy cow! - Yes... cow, dog, even sheep. - But isn't that hostile? - Horse style, doggy style, any style! - Oh, dear! - No, no... deer run to fast!

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oleandero

oleandero

5th Gear

A husband and wife are trying to set up a new password for their computer. The husband puts, "Mypenis," and the wife falls on the ground laughing because on the screen it says, "Error. Not long enough."

 

 

The teacher asked Jimmy, "Why is your cat at school today Jimmy?" Jimmy replied crying, "Because I heard my daddy tell my mommy, 'I am going to eat that p*ssy once Jimmy leaves for school today!'"

 

 

Wife: "How would you describe me?"

Husband: "ABCDEFGHIJK."
Wife: "What does that mean?"
Husband: "Adorable, beautiful, cute, delightful, elegant, fashionable, gorgeous, and hot."
Wife: "Aw, thank you, but what about IJK?"
Husband: "I'm just kidding!"

 

 

Why did I get divorced? Well, last week was my birthday. My wife didn't wish me a happy birthday. My parents forgot and so did my kids. I went to work and even my colleagues didn't wish me a happy birthday. As I entered my office, my secretary said, "Happy birthday, boss!" I felt so special. She asked me out for lunch. After lunch, she invited me to her apartment. We went there and she said, "Do you mind if I go into the bedroom for a minute?" "Okay," I said. She came out 5 minutes later with a birthday cake, my wife, my parents, my kids, my friends, & my colleagues all yelling, "SURPRISE!!!" while I was waiting on the sofa... naked.

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Picnic06-Biante15

Picnic06-Biante15

Supersonic
(edited)

A Priest kept chickens at his village.

One evening the cock went missing. At a church mass prayers gathering, the priest asked:-

 

"Who has a cock?" ......

All the men got up.

"No, I meant who has seen a cock?" ....

All the women got up.

"No, No, Who has seen a cock that isn't their's?" .....

Half the women got up.

"Oh, for Heaven's sake, Who has seen my cock?" ....

All the nuns got up.....

 

And the priest fainted .......... [dizzy]

 

Edited by Picnic06
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DavidOh

DavidOh

5th Gear

Five Unshakeable Facts

1. A girl is said to be grown up when she starts wearing a bra.
A boy is grown up when he starts removing it.

2. We all love to spend lots of money buying new clothes, BUT we realize too late that the best moments in life are enjoyed without clothes.

3. Having a cold drink on hot day with a few friends is nice, but having a
hot friend on a cold night after a few drinks ... PRICELESS.

4. Breaking News: Condoms don't guarantee safe sex anymore;
a friend of mine was wearing one when he was shot dead by the woman's husband.

5. Arguing over a girl's bust size is like choosing between Coors, Fosters, Carlsberg & Budweiser.
Men may state their preferences, but will grab whatever is available.

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