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Sharing of Good Jokes


Byteslurve
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A blonde hadn't been to church for many, many months. She always promised to go, but never did.

One day, the minister was astounded when she suddenly rocked up for Sunday service.

Thereafter, she was at every Sunday service, every prayer meeting, every home group meeting, etc.

Three months later, one Sunday after the service, the minister asks her,

"What happened to you?

You always dodged church and now it looks like you can't get enough of it?"

She replied,

"It’s this new car of mine pastor;

they told me the warranty will lapse if I miss even one service!"

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Kumsia kumsia

 

With this avatar i happy u happy everyone happy

 

 

Good night [laugh]

 

 

Some piccies before sleep

大 佬 ! [scholar] 晚 安 。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。 [sleeping]

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Two pissed drunk men visited a brothel.The madam takes a look at them and tells her manager: Go and put inflatable dolls in their bedrooms.These guys are too drunk to notice.

 

After finishing their act ,on their way back.........

 

1st drunk: i think my girl was dead as she never made a noise or made a move.

 

Upon this the 2nd drunk says: Mine was worse....... I think she was a witch!!!

 

1st drunk: Why would u say that???

 

2nd drunk: Well i gave a little love bite on her bum.....She farted in my face and flew out of the window

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Several men are in the locker room of a golf club. A mobile phone on a bench rings and a man engages the hands-free speaker function and begins to talk. Everyone else in the room stops to listen.

 

MAN : " Hello "

WOMAN : " Honey, it's me. Are you at the club ?"

MAN : " Yes "

WOMAN : " I'm at the mall now and found this beautiful leather coat. It's only $1,000. Is it OK if I buy it ?"

MAN : " Sure, go ahead if you really like it ."

WOMAN : " I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the new 2014 model. I really like it. "

MAN : " How much ?"

WOMAN : " $298,000 "

Man : " Ok, but for that price make sure it comes with all the options ."

WOMAN : " Great ! Oh, and one more thing, the house I wanted last year is back on the market. They are asking $950,000 ."

MAN : " Well, then go ahead and make an offer of $900,000. They will probably take it. If not, go for an extra $50,000 if you think it's really a

pretty good price. "

WOMAN : "OK, I'll see you later ! I Love you sooooo much ! You're soooooo generous ! "

MAN : " You're worth it. Bye !"

 

The man hangs up. The other men in the locker room are starring at him in astonishment, with their mouths agape.

 

The wonderful husband turns and asks :

" Anybody knows whose phone this is ! ! ! "

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Mr J. was a billionaire business man but till now he still single ... Why is he is still single? Here is one of his story..

 

On one of Wednesday night Mr. J and his friends when to clubbing , and he saw one lady caught his eye. So he decide to approach this lady. So below was his conversation with the lady ...

 

Mr. J : Hi lady, mind can we be friend?

 

Lady : Hi, sure we can but before that I need you to answer me honestly my questions, is that fine?

 

Mr. J : Sure, go a head and ask me, I will do my best to answer your questions.

 

Lady : First, can I how much is your monthly salary?

 

Mr. J : Sorry, I do not have monthly salary..

 

Lady : okay, then how about did you drive? And what car did you driver? BMW? Mec?

 

Mr. J : Sorry lady I do not drive.

 

Lady : Hmmm... Then where did you stay? 4 room HDB? 5 room Hbd? Or Condominium?

 

Mr. J : nope, none of those..

 

Lady : Seem you do not have those why should I be your friend? As you don't have monthly salary,Do not drive and does not stay in those house that I ask.

 

( that lady walk away from Mr. J )

 

Then Mr. J walk back to his friends which just chill out at one corner and ask his friends..

 

Why does now days lady weird leh.. as I own billionaire business man, seem I was CEO so I do not have monthly salary, then I do not drive as I have my own personal driver, worst is I own landed property not those hdb houses or condominium yet still rejected me as her friend..

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