Jump to content
Sign in to follow this  
Aventador

Suicide over O level results

Recommended Posts

6th Gear

Read this today in The New Paper (someone posted a link earlier but it was hidden amongst other things.)

 

Thought that this is important reading for all the parents here

 

----------------

 

She is still coming to terms with the devastating death of her teenage granddaughter, who committed suicide over scoring two Bs in her O levels.

 

Then, three months after the 16-year-old plunged to her death, Madam Ng Siang Mui's grief-stricken and guilt-ridden daughter, who was the teen's mother, also killed herself.

 

The tragic double deaths has left her son-in-law, who is the teen's father, mentally unstable.

 

Fortunately, more children and teenagers have been seeking help for suicidal thoughts, said the Samaritans of Singapore (SOS).

 

In an interview with The New Paper, Madam Ng, 71, shared the devastation and anguish of the triple tragedy that began in January this year.

 

She was reluctant to speak at first, noting that the death had torn the family apart.

 

Madam Ng initially said: "Talking to you now is useless. My daughter is dead. My granddaughter is dead."

 

She changed her mind later because she hoped that sharing their story could help highlight early intervention and save more lives.

 

Madam Ng said that in January, just three hours after getting her results slip, her granddaughter jumped to her death.

 

Except for two Bs - in English and Mathematics - the student had scored distinctions for her other subjects.

 

The only child left a note for her parents: "Mum, I am sorry for being a disappointment. I should have done better.

 

"Dad, I am sorry you will not have the chance to walk me down the (church) aisle to give me away."

 

The child's parents used to fight over their daughter's education. The girl had been a straight-As student who attended a top school.

 

The mum wanted to push her to excel and her dad felt that the child should be left alone.

 

"My Xiao Mei (her granddaughter's nickname) was always affected whenever her parents fought over her studies," Madam Ng said in Khek.

 

At Madam Ng's request, we are not naming the parents or their child.

 

Madam Ng said: "My son-in-law felt very sorry for his daughter. He used to approach me to help him talk to my daughter, to ask her not to push Xiao Mei too hard. He felt that they should let Xiao Mei be, as she was a good girl.

 

"Whenever I tried to broach the issue with my daughter, she'd get angry and tell me not to interfere with the way she wanted to bring her child up.

 

"She often compared Xiao Mei's results with those of her friends' children and would ask, 'How come so and so can do this and you cannot?'"

 

Xiao Mei's mother wanted her to get into medical school.

 

A family friend, Mrs Lynn Wee, 45, a housewife, spoke of how she and three other close friends had tried to keep watch over Xiao Mei's mother after the funeral.

 

Mrs Wee said: "She maintained a stoic front and even admitted that she would have been disappointed with her child's academic performance."

 

But that facade slowly slipped in the weeks that followed, said Madam Ng, who has three grandsons from two other children.

 

Madam Ng said that a month after Xiao Mei's death, her father moved out.

 

"That broke my daughter's heart. I think it was then that she, too, gave up living.

 

"When Xiao Mei died, I didn't just lose one child. Her mother, my own daughter, killed herself three months later."

 

Madam Ng recalled the conversation she had with her daughter a day before she killed herself.

 

"She told me, 'Ma, I shouldn't have pressurised Xiao Mei in her studies. You didn't do that to us when we were young and we all turned out fine'."

 

The New Paper understands that Xiao Mei's father is seeking psychiatric help.

 

Added Madam Ng: "If only we had noticed or realised that Xiao Mei was suffering, we could have asked for professional help and this tragedy would have been prevented."

 

When Xiao Mei died, I didn't just lose one child. Her mother, my own daughter, killed herself three months later.

 

- Madam Ng Siang Mui

 

http://www.tnp.sg/news/singapore-news/straight-student-commits-suicide-over-o-level-results-mum-takes-her-own-life#sthash.8jIPRfol.dpuf

↡ Advertisement
  • Praise 3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Moderator

Sad tragic, can see there are many such mum around [sweatdrop]

  • Praise 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
6th Gear

My heart goes out to the grandma. RIP to daughter and mother.

 

And thanks for the timely reminder.

  • Praise 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
2nd Gear

this is so tragic. normally i wont be bothered to make a reply but before anyone comes in running their mouth saying things like 'strawberry gen' or criticise her for being weak, the thing is we dont understand what she has been through. different pple can take different level of stress, not all of us are made the same, just like not all of us are made to study.

To some of you, stress from study is nothing but you may feel stress from money issues which again to another may not be as big as a problem to them.

I just feel really sorry for her. She also felt bad for letting her parents down. Something is wrong when someone has to take his or her own life because of grades, something wrong with society. Hopefully this example can urge all parents to understand and be more empathetic towards what their child are going through and make a decision as to what is more important for their child - happiness or something else.

For me, i rather choose happiness over everything else. Too bad no matter how much money i have now i can no longer buy back time and change the times when i were unhappy.

  • Praise 4

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Turbocharged

The most innocent parties are the daughter, father and grandmother. Who is the root cause of all this? The mother.

  • Praise 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Turbocharged (edited)

WTF.

 

A bit too much lah. Lots of people fail O Levels but end up achieving great things in life also.

 

The mum a bit short-sighted with her goals for the teenage daughter.. So sad.

Edited by Benarsenal

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hypersonic

This is so heart wrenching...and a very sad one...

 

In the pursuit of academic excellence, some sacrifices may not be worth it

 

As parents, its natural that parents always want the best for their child

 

To give up this mentality and let nature takes it course is really not easy in our competitive environment

 

Hope i can be a good parent next time and don't fall into the same trap as others

 

Thank you TS for sharing

  • Praise 8

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Supersonic

I never ever push my kids to the limit for I know their limits are beyond our targets. :serious-business:

 

I let them go at their own pace and after 20+ years, one got her degree and the other got his diploma and going for degree after NS ... :yeah-im-not-drunk:

  • Praise 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Supersonic

I think we are not alone in this. Other Asian countries also face the same issue. Just Google "Student suicides in ...." and you will find South Korea, India, China etc...the numbers are staggering. But in this case both a parent and a student...our education system should reflect and stop the emphasis on elite schools. It's driving everyone nuts.

  • Praise 3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
5th Gear

To get into medicine is not abt grades... alot of perfect score candidates were not granted into the course... the medical board interview takes precedence... above average grade can get in liao...

as long as they find u suitable to practice medicine...

  • Praise 3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Twincharged

Sad that it ended this way. Good thing CO always heed my advice to take it easy on son's academic achievements and to let him be, can or cannot do well...nevermind, the world does not end.

  • Praise 3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Hypersonic

Read this today in The New Paper (someone posted a link earlier but it was hidden amongst other things.)

 

Thought that this is important reading for all the parents here

 

----------------

 

She is still coming to terms with the devastating death of her teenage granddaughter, who committed suicide over scoring two Bs in her O levels.

 

Then, three months after the 16-year-old plunged to her death, Madam Ng Siang Mui's grief-stricken and guilt-ridden daughter, who was the teen's mother, also killed herself.

 

The tragic double deaths has left her son-in-law, who is the teen's father, mentally unstable.

 

Fortunately, more children and teenagers have been seeking help for suicidal thoughts, said the Samaritans of Singapore (SOS).

 

In an interview with The New Paper, Madam Ng, 71, shared the devastation and anguish of the triple tragedy that began in January this year.

 

She was reluctant to speak at first, noting that the death had torn the family apart.

 

Madam Ng initially said: "Talking to you now is useless. My daughter is dead. My granddaughter is dead."

 

She changed her mind later because she hoped that sharing their story could help highlight early intervention and save more lives.

 

Madam Ng said that in January, just three hours after getting her results slip, her granddaughter jumped to her death.

 

Except for two Bs - in English and Mathematics - the student had scored distinctions for her other subjects.

 

The only child left a note for her parents: "Mum, I am sorry for being a disappointment. I should have done better.

 

"Dad, I am sorry you will not have the chance to walk me down the (church) aisle to give me away."

 

The child's parents used to fight over their daughter's education. The girl had been a straight-As student who attended a top school.

 

The mum wanted to push her to excel and her dad felt that the child should be left alone.

 

"My Xiao Mei (her granddaughter's nickname) was always affected whenever her parents fought over her studies," Madam Ng said in Khek.

 

At Madam Ng's request, we are not naming the parents or their child.

 

Madam Ng said: "My son-in-law felt very sorry for his daughter. He used to approach me to help him talk to my daughter, to ask her not to push Xiao Mei too hard. He felt that they should let Xiao Mei be, as she was a good girl.

 

"Whenever I tried to broach the issue with my daughter, she'd get angry and tell me not to interfere with the way she wanted to bring her child up.

 

"She often compared Xiao Mei's results with those of her friends' children and would ask, 'How come so and so can do this and you cannot?'"

 

Xiao Mei's mother wanted her to get into medical school.

 

A family friend, Mrs Lynn Wee, 45, a housewife, spoke of how she and three other close friends had tried to keep watch over Xiao Mei's mother after the funeral.

 

Mrs Wee said: "She maintained a stoic front and even admitted that she would have been disappointed with her child's academic performance."

 

But that facade slowly slipped in the weeks that followed, said Madam Ng, who has three grandsons from two other children.

 

Madam Ng said that a month after Xiao Mei's death, her father moved out.

 

"That broke my daughter's heart. I think it was then that she, too, gave up living.

 

"When Xiao Mei died, I didn't just lose one child. Her mother, my own daughter, killed herself three months later."

 

Madam Ng recalled the conversation she had with her daughter a day before she killed herself.

 

"She told me, 'Ma, I shouldn't have pressurised Xiao Mei in her studies. You didn't do that to us when we were young and we all turned out fine'."

 

The New Paper understands that Xiao Mei's father is seeking psychiatric help.

 

Added Madam Ng: "If only we had noticed or realised that Xiao Mei was suffering, we could have asked for professional help and this tragedy would have been prevented."

 

When Xiao Mei died, I didn't just lose one child. Her mother, my own daughter, killed herself three months later.

 

- Madam Ng Siang Mui

 

http://www.tnp.sg/news/singapore-news/straight-student-commits-suicide-over-o-level-results-mum-takes-her-own-life#sthash.8jIPRfol.dpuf

 

2 lives are gone... just like that...

Very sad.... haiz..........................

  • Praise 4

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Twincharged

Tiger mum.

My colleague was one, when her child was a teenager I can alwats hear her talking over the phone .. "NO DINNER tonight if you do not finish your homework!" "Headache? Go take panadol, rest 10 mins and go study!" "Study is for your own good!" And I always reminded myself not to be like her but of course her daughter did extremely well. She is now doing her PHD at Cambridge University..... ><

  • Praise 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Supersonic

a single case won't change anything

 

parents who stress their kids would think this would not happen to their kids

 

parents who don't stress their kids, probably won't land any prestigious scholarships

 

:ph34r:

  • Praise 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Supersonic

A big reminder to myself. I have been pushing my son and drilling him in math and english for his psle.. I think I have to apply a little brake.

 

Thanks TS, the article do need to be standalone.

  • Praise 4

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Supersonic

Tiger mum.

 

Sad that there is so much emphasis on the mothers. Then what do we call the fathers then? Ostrich? [smash]

 

↡ Advertisement
  • Praise 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
Sign in to follow this  

×