For those males after 50yrs old

[Jman888]

someone did say, after 50 you dun have to entertain anybody anymore, not that there is no friend or social life, you do it selectively cos you have a choice.

[Tianmo]

your true friends walk can see feet or not

 

 

All his true friends are inhuman, I mean non human......    

[Tianmo]

hahahaha....misery loves company hahha

 

There are ppl who just need attention, some sort of attention, or mayb any sort....    

[Soya]

I fit in almost all aspects described in the article . My children are in the midst of completing their tertiary educations and they all have the same opnion and view as the writer .

 

Yes , my life is routine , family comes first , friends are few and far in between , and I am spending more and more time alone .

 

And loving every minute of it .

 

I have already " reached the shore " so to speak , and the one activity that I enjoy the most now taking my dog for long walks in nearby reservoirs . I reflect back on my journey , the struggles that I have gone thru starting my family and career , and then smile to myself to have reached this stage in life .

 

People dont bother me as much these days , I dont get pissed off with their shortcoming , I dont get mad at PHVs cutting into my lane abruptly . in short , I find that I have mellowed down much at this stage of life .

 

People see a routine life as boring , but I see routine as less stress . I dont like to break my routine . If I take a 2 week holiday with my wife , I will itch to come back into my routine after a week overseas .

 

We all strive for health and wealth . Yes , that is good to have , but to me , the one most important thing is to have a PEACE OF MIND .

 

To the writer , fret not , dont worry about us , you go enjoy your life , we are not as lonely as you think .

 

We may appear to only comment in car forums , but at the same time we may also be writing field reports in sammyboy forums .

The article was probably written by a strawberry who cannot comprehend that some ppl do not need to live their lives around how many likes and followers they have or have that desparate need to be always 'accepted' by others around them or have that innate need to share with everyone what they are eating or shitting at every moment

 

They will grow out of it and realise that there's more to life than such trivial pursuits and being comfortable with oneself is nothing pitiful

 

Now let me get back to planning my luxury holidays and which first-class cabin I should drown my lonely old sorrows at....

[Ender]

Loner spending his time at kopi tiam drinking beer and reading wan bao or surfing mcf. Only acquaintance are the beer ladies. No friends. 

[Mustank]

https://youtu.be/YgSPaXgAdzE

 

https://youtu.be/XFkzRNyygfk

[RadX]

All unker fall in liao hahaha

[Freeder]

I fit in almost all aspects described in the article . My children are in the midst of completing their tertiary educations and they all have the same opnion and view as the writer .

 

Yes , my life is routine , family comes first , friends are few and far in between , and I am spending more and more time alone .

 

And loving every minute of it .

 

I have already " reached the shore " so to speak , and the one activity that I enjoy the most now taking my dog for long walks in nearby reservoirs . I reflect back on my journey , the struggles that I have gone thru starting my family and career , and then smile to myself to have reached this stage in life .

 

People dont bother me as much these days , I dont get pissed off with their shortcoming , I dont get mad at PHVs cutting into my lane abruptly . in short , I find that I have mellowed down much at this stage of life .

 

People see a routine life as boring , but I see routine as less stress . I dont like to break my routine . If I take a 2 week holiday with my wife , I will itch to come back into my routine after a week overseas .

 

We all strive for health and wealth . Yes , that is good to have , but to me , the one most important thing is to have a PEACE OF MIND .

 

To the writer , fret not , dont worry about us , you go enjoy your life , we are not as lonely as you think .

 

We may appear to only comment in car forums , but at the same time we may also be writing field reports in sammyboy forums .

I second your view on life after 50...

But hor , some get hornier when reach 50 n above..

Tio boh @bancoe..

[BanCoe]

must ask @spring leh       

 

 

I second your view on life after 50...
But hor , some get hornier when reach 50 n above..
Tio boh @bancoe..

 

[Sdf4786k]

Good thing for CAR forums, it's not so lonely hahaha

 

https://www.ricemedia.co/culture-life-singaporean-men-50s-non-existent-social-circles/

 

 

Why Do Singaporean Men in Their 50s Have Non-Existent Social Circles?

• Culture
• Life

5 Jul 2019

 

Photos: RICE/Zachary Tang

 

David Attenborough would have a field day with the male homo sapiens.

They may be a strange species, but—I will give them this—they are consistently fascinating across the board. From broader subspecies (Alpha Males, Ah Bengs, Christian Boys) to more niche ones, such as Men Who Blue-Tick Or Selectively Reply Your Texts But Continue To Watch All Your IG Stories, each one leaves me with more unanswered questions than watching a certain minister talk about POFMA with Michelle Chong.

But there is one subspecies I had never given much thought until now: Men In Their 50s Who Appear To Have Zero Friends. 

This subspecies is typically middle-class with their own family. Their lives follow a familiar routine: after work, they go home, have dinner, and spend the rest of the night watching TV or videos on their phones. Rinse and repeat—every day. 

In their spare time or on weekends, they do grocery shopping at their neighbourhood NTUC FairPrice, sit at mall food courts scrolling their phones, or just … I don’t know … exist? 

If you are in your early to mid-20s, chances are you live with one such specimen in your own home: your dad. 

 

A man in his 50s... Probably.

“Aside from work and family, my dad doesn’t seem to have friends. I think this is a thing, you know,” a colleague enthuses one day. 

 

Let’s call her X. When I ask X to elaborate on her observation, she sends me a WhatsApp message that’s essentially an 800-word essay (!!). 

“I feel bad for him because my mom has quite a few friends, and so do my sister and I. When we’re not around, he’s kinda alone. Surely this will get worse when my sis and I eventually get married and move out,” she begins.

“At his job, he’s the boss so he doesn’t really socialise with his colleagues. He eats a lot of his meals alone. And if something bad happens at work or at home who can he talk to right? He complains a lot to my mom about work and life already, but I don’t think it’s healthy to heap all of this onto one person. I don’t quite comprehend how someone can go through life with family being their only support system.”

While X’s dad doesn’t hate socialising, he doesn’t actively build or maintain strong friendships either, probably because “he’s not looking for anything long term, just some social interaction every now and then”. 

Other friends reveal a similar pattern: their dads return home after work, then spend the evening with family and/or alone. Sometimes, they while away time by drifting in and out of their children’s rooms after dinner to make conversation, or park themselves on the corner of a couch watching Youtube. 

If they have regular ‘hobbies’, they’re mostly solitary ones, such as reading, exercising, taking walks, going to the museum, tending to potted plants, commenting on car forums, scrolling through Facebook, playing golf, and so on.

Outside work, their social interactions are usually limited to their children or wife’s friends (although the latter is extremely rare). A few mention their dads “keeping in touch with friends” via WhatsApp, but rarely see their dads actually spend time with said friends. 

One friend says his dad attends the occasional school reunion, but otherwise doesn’t have friends whom he meets often. 

Their dads’ reasons for a relatively solitary lifestyle include “no time”, “no reason to [hang out with friends]”, “prefer spending time at home”, or simply that they just prefer life this way.

 

A man in his 50s? Could be.

Almost everyone intuitively understands how the exact demographic in question operates, but it’s trickier to pinpoint the root of the phenomena. And as a Single Female Millennial, I am the furthest possible subspecies from Men In Their 50s. 

 

But I get it. 

For starters, it’s common knowledge that friendships tend to dwindle significantly once you become a parent, and this is no one’s fault. Parenting is simply the most life-changing and all-consuming job in the world.

When you’re not changing diapers, you’re thinking of the next time you have to change diapers. Or find a Good School for your child to attend. Or deal with conflicting in-law parenting techniques. 

Or basically just ensure your kid doesn’t die on your watch. 

Thus most parents would be familiar with the inevitable gravitation towards their child becoming the fulcrum upon which their universe hinges. This unconscious decision usually entails solely focusing on work outside of family, so they can provide for said family, and often results in the culling of many ‘frivolous pursuits’.

Drinking with your buddies till 1 AM: No go. Sleeping in till 11 AM on weekends and spending the rest of the day in bed poring over Netflix: Not anymore. Spontaneously arranging to meet a friend in town for brunch just a few hours before: Are you shitting me? Absolutely not. 

Life becomes a succession of precise and predictable plans. With ‘adventure’ nuked from a parent’s vocabulary, every routine is meant to minimise any chance of mess ups, which might be a mere headache for regular folk but could actually cause a ruptured blood vessel for parents. 

Apparently though, this ‘affliction’ doesn’t quite befall their female counterparts (i.e. Women/Moms In Their 50s). Perhaps women, in general, appear to more readily engage in idle gossip and chit-chat, therefore giving themselves more opportunities to socialise with new friends or acquaintances in their later years.  

The same friends whose dads have little/no friends report their moms being more likely to turn colleagues into friends, develop interests and hobbies that grant them access to a whole new community, or become friends with other moms. 

So they don’t worry as much about what their moms would do or how they’d occupy their time after retirement. 

 

A man in his 50s. Or 60s? Sorry uncle, I can't tell.

Dads In Their 50s, however, grew up in a time when men were usually the sole breadwinner in the family. They were taught to prioritise putting in hard work and doing everything to provide for their families. As a result, friendships were seen as secondary to their mental and emotional wellbeing. 

 

If there was time to cultivate thriving friendships, that was simply a bonus. Friendships were never a necessity for a ‘good life’. 

And so, in their early/mid-30s to 50s, Dads In Their 50s gave up friendships to raise us. 

Unfortunately, these years are crucial for building sustainable lifelong adult friendships, which are already tedious to maintain even if one were single. 

Once their children are grown adults, Dads In Their 50s realise they no longer have the social circles they used to have in their 20s. At this stage, their friends are either married and/or with their own families, or they’ve stayed single and led a starkly different life that it would be near impossible to reunite based on common interests. 

Unless they were intentional enough to rekindle friendships or court new friends, Dads In Their 50s can hardly make “friends” who aren’t other Dads In Their 50s. 

That said, fading friendships have been a thing since time immemorial, and seem to plague Men Of All Ages. As it is, a male friend once mentioned feeling like he’d lost all his friends after becoming a parent. He now struggles to bridge the chasm between his old life and his present reality as a parent. 

Though no man is an island, many eventually learn to be self-reliant, although not reclusive.

 

A man on his 50s. I mean, who knows anymore, really?

Many of us are eons away from retirement, so the prospect of how or with whom we’re going to spend our old age might be a mere abstraction. But, if our Dads In Their 50s are anything to go by, those of us who plan to get married and start families should pay heed to the seemingly inevitable death of our social circles. 

 

Even though pop culture rarely accords as much weight to friendships as romantic relationships, the significance of having close friends throughout life cannot be understated. After all, it is only healthy to have our own priorities that aren’t tied to familial obligations. 

If we don’t want to turn out like Men In Their 50s Who Appear To Have Zero Friends, then cultivating friendships should be an intentional and lifelong endeavour. 

But therein lies another issue: while our concerns that our Dads In Their 50s don’t get lonely in old age stem from a good place, we might also unwittingly be perpetuating the idea that solitude or being alone is a ‘bad thing’, and that extroversion or socialisation is the ‘norm’. 

There seem to be few people who are as comfortable taking walks alone, eating alone, going shopping alone, travelling alone, spending time alone, as Men In Their 50s Who Appear To Have Zero Friends. It might often be an inadvertent consequence of marriage and starting a family, but let’s not presume they aren’t perfectly content. 

It is often said that all you need is one person. Men In Their 50s Who Appear To Have Zero Friends remind us this person should, first and foremost, be ourselves.

 

I LOL at this one hahaha...sounds like @davidtch

 

 

If they have regular ‘hobbies’, they’re mostly solitary ones, such as reading, exercising, taking walks, going to the museum, tending to potted plants, commenting on car forums, scrolling through Facebook, playing golf, and so on.

Outside work, their social interactions are usually limited to their children or wife’s friends (although the latter is extremely rare). A few mention their dads “keeping in touch with friends” via WhatsApp, but rarely see their dads actually spend time with said friends. 

One friend says his dad attends the occasional school reunion, but o

 

this does not apply to you.. got so many people sell viagra and better passport than our red passport.. where got free time for u after 50...till the day MCF have a smart BOT that can do better than u, Your MCF days of being page will last till you have a dream of yourself

[Freeder]

Very good thread, all of us mcf uncles open heart n pour their sorrows out.. lol ..

Dun think all uncles here got any sorrows to begin with ..

Those uncles who surf here are all young at heart..

Been there done that type..

Life is short, need to cherish every moment ...

Got money, got honey...

Got spare time, can TCSS here..

No need to whine , KPKB & take life too seriously..

人身还有几十年..

[Sdf4786k]

someone did say, after 50 you dun have to entertain anybody anymore, not that there is no friend or social life, you do it selectively cos you have a choice.

 

I have a different view on this.

 

Like colleague and friends.

 

They are non inter changable.

 

Colleagues , some of them are like what I would call transactional relationship. 

 

They are there to complement your services to the company. For those that have change company, how many are still in touch with you ?

 

Those that are true friends has no agendas when you have a coffee with them 

 

Its almost like taking a Bus for the 100 time with the same bus driver that you meet in the morning. You dont know his family or what goes on in his mind.

 

And the worst part of a company culture would be when someone leaves the company, some idiot will quickly mouth off and say shes not taking over the slack that will be left behind by that person.

 

And thats how we evolved from school where friends are plenty to army where unity is strength to working life where the motto of No one Owes you a living becomes a curse for the people.

[Soya]

Dun think all uncles here got any sorrows to begin with ..

Those uncles who surf here are all young at heart..

Been there done that type..

Life is short, need to cherish every moment ...

Got money, got honey...

Got spare time, can TCSS here..

No need to whine , KPKB & take life too seriously..

人身è¿æå åå¹´..

Got unkers here drive maclaren, some even buy GLC even after 2yrs retrench, some change BMW more often than laoma flip prata, some sell screw but travel & live luxuriously

 

Yeah a definitely a pitiful life as an unker....

[Kxbc]

i only have a few true friends...the rst died hahahahaha

I guess they do come visit every year for a month. Come to think of it, coming soon.

[Freeder]

That's why KTV and massage parlours thrive. Writer so stupid , naive or innocent? Because it's their dad?

 

Spending time with friends doesn't mean going out to eat, shop, as women do. Hobby groups or sports that bring men together weekly or so, also counts as friends. Now with social media, making such connections and finding common ground with strangers (new friends) is so much easier.

At least uncles here dun go NUS bideo people showering ..

Not like those si Ginnas looking for cheap thrills..

[Soya]

At least uncles here dun go NUS bideo people showering ..

Not like those si Ginnas looking for cheap thrills.. ðð»ð

Maybe coz last time when unkers were in NUS, bideo not invented yet....lol

[Albeniz]

At 50 years old, sometimes it is better to be alone.

 

只有遠離人群，才能找回我自己。

[Ender]

https://youtu.be/YgSPaXgAdzE

 

 

Guitar riff sounds like this uncle classic