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How many kids do you have? local singaporeans only


Wind30
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How many kids do you have  

96 members have voted

  1. 1. How many kids do you have?

    • 0
      11
    • 1
      17
    • 2
      42
    • 3
      16
    • 4
      4
    • 5
      0
    • 6+
      6


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1 hour ago, Carbon82 said:

I have a girl and a boy (一个“好”字). Originally wanted to have 4, but the escalating cost of living and difficulty in achieving work life balance made me to stop at 2.

My mum help me to take care of my kids when they are young, so childcare is not a problem for me. Many of my friends complaint about high tutoring fee, but lucky mine never have to attend any tuition class till now, so that save me a fair bit of $$$.

But medical fee is really expensive. My son was once referred to specialist at KKH for inner ear bleeding (when he was <7 yo) and just 2 visits costed me around $1K. My daughter have eczema and each review at CGH cost about $100 (with medication). And nowadays, simple consultation for cough or flu is easily $50 and up at neighborhood GP...

Cost aside, stressful education system is a thing I wish it could be changed. Why must exam be scheduled in such a way that many student find it hard to complete within the time frame? 

I agree that medical fee is something that pap has done poorly. It is not just useless complaining because I see Taiwan or even China has done better. Esp Taiwan, as they have similar scale and there are things that can be copied. But opposition never care....

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2 hours ago, Heartlander said:

If no kids, when old how? Have you really thought through how you are going to manage the last days especially we cannot be sure we will be so fortunate as to die in sleep or healthy? 

It will actually get complicated if a couple do not have kids to support them, and one is going first before the other. The one going first will be sad to leave the other half behind as will be worrying sick of how he/she will be coping alone, while the other one will have to mourn the passing and facing the bad situation of being all alone now. How sad! 

Better to have kids if can. This is definitely not the sexiest reason to have kid(s), but very compelling one.

Recently just witnessed an old single relative went away. Very bad case.

 

eh? you are assuming the kids will take care of you when you are old? better not to have too high hopes.hahahaha

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1 hour ago, Lala81 said:

Same opinion. Despite the loss of income, my wife is a housewife for last 5 years. She's the only housewife within our family or my circle of friends. 

All of my friends leverage heavily on grandparents. Some people leverage on the grandparents until I think it's bit ridiculous... 

In a selfish way, why should we let other people enjoy the precocious and precious moments that a child bring to you everyday? Their silly questions, silly musings, funny ideas.

That being said, most working mums try to go to extra lengths to be able to work and still be there for their kids. Very admirable but physically and mentally taxing. 

That is why infant care is impt. Those 0-2 years.... I am surprised government is so late to react. Until now then start working on childcare... but it’s really the 0-2 years that is the killer. Hard to take care.

if don’t leverage grandparents who take care of kids if both parents work. Lky say the main reason for declining birth rate is the greater participation of females which is irreversible....

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1 minute ago, Mkl22 said:

eh? you are assuming the kids will take care of you when you are old? better not to have too high hopes.hahahaha

Might not be material stuff. My mum, even though she stop taking care of my kids recently due to health issues, love it when my kids visit.

i think kids are just a reflection of the parents... I just treat my parents and in laws better now lor 

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3 hours ago, BabyBlade said:

Single, unmarried, kid-less. Beat that. [flowerface]

Single, unmarried, don't know. I was a little naughtier last time.

3 hours ago, 13177 said:

Once you have kids, you will be revolving around them until they have at least reached secondary school lo. 

I'm selfish, I'm not ready to give up my life for that. Nor do I want to, to be frank.

2 hours ago, Heartlander said:

If no kids, when old how? Have you really thought through how you are going to manage the last days especially we cannot be sure we will be so fortunate as to die in sleep or healthy?  

It will actually get complicated if a couple do not have kids to support them, and one is going first before the other. The one going first will be sad to leave the other half behind as will be worrying sick of how he/she will be coping alone, while the other one will have to mourn the passing and facing the bad situation of being all alone now. How sad!  

Better to have kids if can. This is definitely not the sexiest reason to have kid(s), but very compelling one.

Recently just witnessed an old single relative went away. Very bad case.

 

If got kids, and they not filial, old also how? Sometimes, it's not about having kids alone. Anyway, I think this fear may be overblown.

I've planned out with my girlfriend already (it's a couple's decision not to have kids, at least for now / long time). Must slowly plan finances, so that the other person can be taken care of (either in home or caretaker etc). Not like it's not already happening now.

1 hour ago, Lala81 said:

I was the first to have kids among all my friends. I used to tell them before they had their own... It's the best sai gang in the world.  

Best sai kang in the world is still sai kang, man. I'm not knocking on those who have kids, in fact, I respect the effort, time and energy that you've all sacrificed for your kids. It's just not worth it to me at the moment. Having kids, much like getting pets, is a lifelong decision (in the sense that gotta care for both until kid is adult, or pet is dead). Cannot change mind and give up halfway.

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7 minutes ago, Wind30 said:

I agree that medical fee is something that pap has done poorly. It is not just useless complaining because I see Taiwan or even China has done better. Esp Taiwan, as they have similar scale and there are things that can be copied. But opposition never care....

just a side track, but yes taiwan has done well for healthcare. i had a very minor incision to drain a wound at the hospital A&E. i paid approx $150SGD, in total.

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4 minutes ago, Wind30 said:

That is why infant care is impt. Those 0-2 years.... I am surprised government is so late to react. Until now then start working on childcare... but it’s really the 0-2 years that is the killer. Hard to take care.

if don’t leverage grandparents who take care of kids if both parents work. Lky say the main reason for declining birth rate is the greater participation of females which is irreversible....

I used to hire a mother of two to work part time as General Counsel. She was a full time mom since her 1st child.  She started looking for work after her 2nd child started kindergarten.

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4 hours ago, Jman888 said:

Surprisingly i started to see more couples are having more than 3 children, quite many of  them with 4-5 children is a common thing now.

This is true. Going around, shopping malls, coffeeshop, quite often see 3-kid families these days. If anything, very often the case, is those with 2 girls and one youngest boy - obviously trying to get the boy [laugh]

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3 minutes ago, Mkl22 said:

just a side track, but yes taiwan has done well for healthcare. i had a very minor incision to drain a wound at the hospital A&E. i paid approx $150SGD, in total.

Ya, even Hong Kong is not too bad but I am less familiar with how hk fund their medical care but a friend who had a heart Attack in hk was complaining how it was cheaper for him as a foreigner in hk than in Singapore....

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1 hour ago, Carbon82 said:

I have a girl and a boy (一个“好”字). Originally wanted to have 4, but the escalating cost of living and difficulty in achieving work life balance made me to stop at 2.

My mum help me to take care of my kids when they are young, so childcare is not a problem for me. Many of my friends complaint about high tutoring fee, but lucky mine never have to attend any tuition class till now, so that save me a fair bit of $$$.

But medical fee is really expensive. My son was once referred to specialist at KKH for inner ear bleeding (when he was <7 yo) and just 2 visits costed me around $1K. My daughter have eczema and each review at CGH cost about $100 (with medication). And nowadays, simple consultation for cough or flu is easily $50 and up at neighborhood GP...

Cost aside, stressful education system is a thing I wish it could be changed. Why must exam be scheduled in such a way that many student find it hard to complete within the time frame? 

Yes, after the school health examination,  always send to medical appointment to check this check that, and apply unnecessary medication.

End up appointment after appointment only. Each appointment not cheap also.

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19 minutes ago, Hydrocarbon said:

...

Best sai kang in the world is still sai kang, man. I'm not knocking on those who have kids, in fact, I respect the effort, time and energy that you've all sacrificed for your kids. It's just not worth it to me at the moment. Having kids, much like getting pets, is a lifelong decision (in the sense that gotta care for both until kid is adult, or pet is dead). Cannot change mind and give up halfway.

Definitely there are a lot of sacrifices involved and you'll age faster (lack sleep, lack exercise, lack self-care) and lose much of the productive and arguably best times, (from your personal interests point-of-view) of your life. And once you go down that track, there is no turning back. Maybe will end up regretting having kids also when you are old and your life is mostly over, who knows?

But I had my first little one when comparatively young and in love, didn't think too much [laugh]

Nowadays better not think too much also, because it never makes sense.

Give you a live example like later after work, instead of enjoying my own leisure time and unwinding, end up having to fetch one kid and ensure he is fed, and then pick up another younger one, and then hold the fort at home till mom comes back and reinforce [laugh] (no maids horr !)

 

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6 minutes ago, Sosaria said:

Definitely there are a lot of sacrifices involved and you'll age faster (lack sleep, lack exercise, lack self-care) and lose much of the productive and arguably best times, (from your personal interests point-of-view) of your life. And once you go down that track, there is no turning back. Maybe will end up regretting having kids also when you are old and your life is mostly over, who knows? 

But I had my first little one when comparatively young and in love, didn't think too much [laugh]

Nowadays better not think too much also, because it never makes sense.

Give you a live example like later after work, instead of enjoying my own leisure time and unwinding, end up having to fetch one kid and ensure he is fed, and then pick up another younger one, and then hold the fort at home till mom comes back and reinforce [laugh] (no maids horr !)

 

Agreed. There's no turning back, and knowing now that I don't really want to spend time and effort on kids, I think, it will be bad on whatever kids I may have if I can't give them attention and love also.

That's why I said I respect those who have kids and put effort into raising them, I know I can't (at least not now).

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1 hour ago, Mkl22 said:

eh? you are assuming the kids will take care of you when you are old? better not to have too high hopes.hahahaha

I definitely am not expecting my kids to take care of me machiam a nurse like that. I would be happy if they are around to keep me company when free that's all. I would think keeping myself financially independent in my older days is my responsibility. Hopefully there is enough left for them to show more concerns haha. 

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Its very simple really.

I also don't intend for my kids to look after me but if it really happens and I am so broke my kids have to look after me or if my health is so bad they have to nurse me

then either they will say I am so happy I have the opportunity to look after my parents. A burden to them? Nonsense they will say my parents gave so much to me its an honour to be able to look after them back.

Or they will say looking after my parents is such a burden and I really not happy to look after them.

Now if my kids really think my parents are a such a burden and I really not happy to look after them. That would mean I really didn't bring up my children very well.

And the best opportunity is to find this out by needing them to look after me and the wife. Maybe after they have the experience of having to look after us they may change their thinking.

Hopefully it is at first I thought looking after my parents was such a burden but then I really enjoyed it. I was so wrong and I am glad I had the opportunity to correct my wrong thinking.

The only way you will ever know is if it happens and if your kids are badly brought up then this is the only way you have a chance to put things right.

What is bringing up your kids well?

Do you think it is they have a good education, become rich and successful and have wine and cheese evenings? Wearing branded clothes and locking up the parents in the back room because they boh tak chek and don't know about Cab Sig and Camembert and don't wear branded clothes? 

Or is it making sure my parents are around when I have wine and cheese evenings and not ashamed of having my parents around but proud of them?

Well brought up kids is not rich successful people that are ashamed of you but kids that would love to look after you and not seeing it as a terrible burden.

:grin: 

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40 minutes ago, Heartlander said:

I definitely am not expecting my kids to take care of me machiam a nurse like that. I would be happy if they are around to keep me company when free that's all. I would think keeping myself financially independent in my older days is my responsibility. Hopefully there is enough left for them to show more concerns haha. 

Many people equate getting married and having kids as companionship in older age. But to be honest, as the grind sets in, and you reach middle age, daily life is mostly a list of chores to be ticked off the list, and yes, you can be pretty lonely and alone with your thoughts as well, despite being surrounded by family members. Hard truth. Hope I didn't discourage those thinking of building a family [laugh]

 

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7 hours ago, Wind30 said:

I have 2 kids. One Girl one boy.

I stopped there because bringing up the baby is tiring, all the sleepless nights, fall sick, etc. My reasoning is that the extra pain, work involved is not worth the third child. Law of diminishing returns. 

In fact, my second kid was not planned. I wanted to have one only.

What will make me have more kids?? Better support especially at the age 0-2... High quality infant care... a place where you can trust that you can put the baby there for maybe half a day. Must be affordable too.

More childcare leave. 2 weeks.

Same like you, 1 boy and 1 girl

Both my wife and me, we married young in our early 20 and have our kid in our mid 20.

Yes, our life revolve around our kids in their early childhood days.

My wife stopped work when my boy was born and continued with the second one too as they said the first 5 years of the child life is important. That where they learned the value of life when you teach them. She stopped work for more than 10 years till our kids when to secondary school and then went back to work.

But when you looked back all the sacrificed and love you poured into their life, it is worth it.

Now our kids are in their early 20 and working and time when we look back to the old photos, we laughed together and related those funny incidents what they did when they were young.

I wouldn't said that being a parent isn't easy but all the sacrifices and love you pour into their life and now you see when they grown up, they appreciate and respect you.

The last few years, we went holiday together as a family and we enjoyed each other company too.

Those of you who has 1 or more kid who is/are still young, enjoy them and pour your love around them but please don't spoilt them (like give them what they want), you need to be firm but lovingly and explain to them. 

To all the parent in this forum, enjoy your child or children and you wouldn't be regards.

 

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