Taboos and a little story to share

[BabyBlade]

Some context:

Last week I attended a wake of my childhood cousin. We received the news on a morning that he had passed away from a motorcycle accident in the wee hours. There were no eye witnesses at the accident site. He was found unconscious by a police patrol car. Efforts to resuscitate him were made by paramedics but he succumbed to his injuries while en-route to the hospital in an ambulance. Cause of death on the death certificate states multiple injuries and investigations by the Traffic Police will only be concluded 5-6 months from now. Video footage from his onboard bike dash camera showed no other vehicles involved, so we can most likely rule out a hit and run. The family is obviously very distraught as there is no closure with investigations still ongoing. His friends from all over visited him at the wake to say their final goodbyes.

On the evening after his cremation, I went to his home together with some of his biker friends. It was then that I got to inspect the motorcycle helmet he was wearing when he crashed. It was wrapped up in a plastic bag. His mum had placed it outside of their house as she was too disconsolate to see it. It was one of those retro-looking half-face helmets with no proper visor, no proper head or chin protection. The helmet was in relatively good shape – no apparent damages, no cracks or obvious skid marks, visor was intact, not broken, albeit bad smelling – you could smell the odor caused by sweat and bacteria. 

What's taboo?

It was an admission by my cousin's friend. The accident helmet was gifted to my cousin by his close friend, another bike friend from their close circle. The helmet had originally belonged to another friend who had lost his life to a fatal bike crash, nearly a year and a half ago. 

At this point I was shook. I consider myself as not superstitious, not pantang but there is one “belief” I do adhere to quite religiously though when I was still riding a motorcycle. I was always careful never to place my motorcycle helmets on the floor. There is a saying that goes “As goes your helmet, so goes your head” which translates to “If your helmet hits the ground, your head will soon follow”. So I believe its bad luck to have your helmet lying around on the floor. There is no factual basis for this, but if you drop your helmet, then the structural integrity of the shell might be compromised anyway. So to be gifting the accident helmet of a dead person to a living, I cannot. 

Before their friends left the house, they took with them some of my cousin’s other helmets, including the accident helmet – to sell on Carousell and as for the accident helmet, to return it to the “giver” with the intention to keep or pass it on. I casually remarked not to pass on the helmet to anyone else. Go ahead if you want to keep it as memorabilia but a helmet that has lived through two fatal accidents?

I’ll be honest; I felt a little sad having discovered this after my cousin has passed on. Sorry for the wordy text. Just wanted to share my thoughts and perhaps discuss what are your beliefs, practices... 

Let’s share and discuss.

[Tianmo]

Yes,  keep or dispose belongings of any deceased,  I never accept or pass on such items.  

Sell?  That's worst! 

 

[Lala81]

2 minutes ago, Tianmo said:

Yes,  keep or dispose belongings of any deceased,  I never accept or pass on such items.  

Sell?  That's worst! 

 

haha house also belonging mah.

I think someone who died in a RTA, keeping the helmet and passing it on is definitely a no no. Not even sure why someone would do that. 

 

[Yeshe]

26 minutes ago, BabyBlade said:

Some context:

Last week I attended a wake of my childhood cousin. We received the news on a morning that he had passed away from a motorcycle accident in the wee hours. There were no eye witnesses at the accident site. He was found unconscious by a police patrol car. Efforts to resuscitate him were made by paramedics but he succumbed to his injuries while en-route to the hospital in an ambulance. Cause of death on the death certificate states multiple injuries and investigations by the Traffic Police will only be concluded 5-6 months from now. Video footage from his onboard bike dash camera showed no other vehicles involved, so we can most likely rule out a hit and run. The family is obviously very distraught as there is no closure with investigations still ongoing. His friends from all over visited him at the wake to say their final goodbyes.

On the evening after his cremation, I went to his home together with some of his biker friends. It was then that I got to inspect the motorcycle helmet he was wearing when he crashed. It was wrapped up in a plastic bag. His mum had placed it outside of their house as she was too disconsolate to see it. It was one of those retro-looking half-face helmets with no proper visor, no proper head or chin protection. The helmet was in relatively good shape – no apparent damages, no cracks or obvious skid marks, visor was intact, not broken, albeit bad smelling – you could smell the odor caused by sweat and bacteria. 

What's taboo?

It was an admission by my cousin's friend. The accident helmet was gifted to my cousin by his close friend, another bike friend from their close circle. The helmet had originally belonged to another friend who had lost his life to a fatal bike crash, nearly a year and a half ago. 

At this point I was shook. I consider myself as not superstitious, not pantang but there is one “belief” I do adhere to quite religiously though when I was still riding a motorcycle. I was always careful never to place my motorcycle helmets on the floor. There is a saying that goes “As goes your helmet, so goes your head” which translates to “If your helmet hits the ground, your head will soon follow”. So I believe its bad luck to have your helmet lying around on the floor. There is no factual basis for this, but if you drop your helmet, then the structural integrity of the shell might be compromised anyway. So to be gifting the accident helmet of a dead person to a living, I cannot. 

Before their friends left the house, they took with them some of my cousin’s other helmets, including the accident helmet – to sell on Carousell and as for the accident helmet, to return it to the “giver” with the intention to keep or pass it on. I casually remarked not to pass on the helmet to anyone else. Go ahead if you want to keep it as memorabilia but a helmet that has lived through two fatal accidents?

I’ll be honest; I felt a little sad having discovered this after my cousin has passed on. Sorry for the wordy text. Just wanted to share my thoughts and perhaps discuss what are your beliefs, practices... 

Let’s share and discuss.

U still need to ask? Return to @RadX of course! 

[RadX]

My reply to this is always 

“respect the unknown”
 

whilst these are all hearsay and the like and the question of the afterlife and what lies beyond death is still beyond us.

 

as mortals, just know the unknown forces that reside all around us

(Dun let me start on my prophetic dreams again)

RIP

[Sp4wn]

its the same with baby car seats honestly ... my oldest has outgrown his seat and its just gathering dust in my storeroom. i dont intend to sell it, even though its never been in an accident. i also wonder - if i sold it, and it malfunctioned after several years of usage, would the buyer blame me if something happened? (hence the reason why i cant bring myself to sell it, or donate it). im sure some needy families could use a good solid car seat, but the question becomes whether i want to take a gamble. obviously when im driving i might not notice my kid doing something to the seat that could eventually affect its performance ...

eventually ill probably dispose of it ...

eventually ...

[Lala81]

5 minutes ago, Sp4wn said:

its the same with baby car seats honestly ... my oldest has outgrown his seat and its just gathering dust in my storeroom. i dont intend to sell it, even though its never been in an accident. i also wonder - if i sold it, and it malfunctioned after several years of usage, would the buyer blame me if something happened? (hence the reason why i cant bring myself to sell it, or donate it). im sure some needy families could use a good solid car seat, but the question becomes whether i want to take a gamble. obviously when im driving i might not notice my kid doing something to the seat that could eventually affect its performance ...

eventually ill probably dispose of it ...

eventually ...

i had 2 car seats which i disposed of last year. both >5 years old.
Yes the safety issue is a problem though my car was not much sun exposed (multistorey carparks for both work and home), so the plastics are probably fine.

Yeah i offered on carousell like cheap cheap, no takers, then just dumped it in the void deck for spring cleaning when no one replied after few weeks. Definitely won't offer my relatives or friends. 

 

[Arogab]

Yeah @RadX can handle the stuff. 

Sometimes, some things.....they are fate. It was fated he be given the helmet and it happens. RIP

[Lala81]

There are some studies to show that u can influence the amount of hormones you are releasing just by your mindset (to the same stimulus).

So it's not far off to postulate that if u feel something is strongly taboo, it will influence at least your own perception/hormonal state from the exact same experience as someone has.

Just like some people can feel revulsion when they see some acts and actually feel ill. Whereas someone would be totally fine.

 

[RadX]

Self-fulfilling prophecy
 

on that same note, The recency effect comes to play too

[Beregond]

Sometime its better to be pang tang then not 😂

不要不信邪🤐

[Hubwee]

Thats why i will not buy a used watch no matter how cheap or how limited it is lo ...

Too personal and something you wear on your wrist and touches the skin lo .... 

 

[Picnic06-Biante15]

1 hour ago, Tianmo said:

Yes,  keep or dispose belongings of any deceased,  I never accept or pass on such items.  

Sell?  That's worst! 

 

Ya..... you donate it to the people who are protesting against their gov in order to protect their head from rubber bullets. 

[Picnic06-Biante15]

Whether you accept it or not depending on each personal belief. 

I still keep some items passed down from my grandfather died during Japanese occupation.

My friend kept the belonging of his son as remembrance of him in a suicide case.  

[Watwheels]

Is it those non PSB approved helmets?  Cos I see some bikers wear some helmets that are obviously not safe.

Taboo or pantang or whatever imo dead ppl possessions should go with the dead? Dont recycle. 

Edited June 16, 2022 by Watwheels

[13177]

28 minutes ago, Hubwee said:

Thats why i will not buy a used watch no matter how cheap or how limited it is lo ...

Too personal and something you wear on your wrist and touches the skin lo .... 

 

Like that also cannot buy 2nd hand clothing? But if people really patang on such thing, how come people can accept to buy a 2nd hand car and resale flat le?

[Beregond]

3 minutes ago, 13177 said:

Like that also cannot buy 2nd hand clothing? But if people really patang on such thing, how come people can accept to buy a 2nd hand car and resale flat le?

Resale flat i totally ok.

But lets say that flat got a history of previous owner commit suicide inside. Will u still got ahead ?

Personally i wont even if the price is very good etc etc.

Another example. Last time jurong there got some 1 jump from a flat. I will avoid that area where she landed ( ok maybe i very pang tang...)

[Scion]

i'm a more science person...

i believe if a person dunno any history of the used items, he will not have any issues or worries, consciously or subconsciously, using them

only when u know the item's history that your mind start to play tricks and try to link unfortunate things together to make u believe in something bad