93-year-old S'porean looking for daughter she gave up 66 years ago due to superstition & pressure from elders

[Yamapi]

A 93-year-old Chinese woman in Singapore is hoping to fulfil one wish — that she will reunite with the daughter she gave up to a Malay family 66 years ago.

The woman, who goes by Mrs Tan, had given up her daughter after much pressure from her mother and mother-in-law as they believed her newborn baby, who was born with two natal teeth, would supposedly bring bad luck.

Tan has since regretted caving in to her elders' wishes, and though she is now surrounded by her large family of nine other children, 24 grandchildren and 19 great grandchildren, she hopes to be able to see her lost daughter again.

Daughter born with natal teeth, was a "bad omen"

Tan, through her 38-year-old granddaughter Jasmine, described to Mothership the circumstances that led her to that fateful decision to give up her child.

Tan was just 17 years old when she got married.

Tan and her husband lived at 99 Jalan Chekor, where they also worked as farmers on their plot of land, growing vegetables and raising pigs.

The Jalan Chekor kampung and its roads have since been expunged. Kaki Bukit now sits where the kampung used to be.

In 1956, Tan gave birth to her seventh child, but under quite difficult circumstances.

Tan was alone at the hospital while her husband struggled with a very bad illness at home.

However, upon the baby's birth, she noticed that her daughter was born with two natal teeth on her bottom jaw, which was considered bad luck according to Chinese folklore.

When Tan saw the teeth on her newborn, she immediately plucked them out and swallowed them, so no one would think her daughter was ill-omened.

According to some Chinese traditions, babies born with teeth are curses to the family.

Told not to contact or see her child ever again

Tan was discharged from the hospital the next day, but grew worried about the big secret she was hiding.

She finally confessed to her mother and mother-in-law about the teeth and what she had done to hide them.

They insisted that her baby had to be given away.

Tan recounted that her mother-in-law in particular was very authoritative and warned Tan not to contact or see her child again.

Tan and her husband had no say in this decision.

Her mother-in-law engaged a middleman to assist with the adoption, so Tan never got the chance to even meet the adoptive parents.

Tan is scarce on details about where her daughter is now, but knows that her daughter was given up to a childless Malay family who lived nearby.

She also remembered that the adoptive father worked at the airport, and cycled to work everyday. The mother was a homemaker.

Years later, Tan learnt that the adoptive family had adopted another girl. Through the middleman, the couple also made Tan promise never to reunite with her daughter.

Woman regrets telling the truth

The only time Tan saw her daughter again was during a chance encounter when the girl was 10 years old.

A girl walked past Tan's home at Jalan Chekor, and the middleman who lived nearby pointed out to Tan that she was her daughter.

Tan only stole a glance at her, under instructions from her mother-in-law not to interact with the girl.

But Tan noticed that her daughter was dressed in a white blouse and blue skirt, the school uniform of an English school.

The middleman had also given Tan a photograph of her daughter, but a flood that washed away most of Tan's belongings meant that she no longer had the photo to hold onto.

To this day, Tan regrets ever telling the truth to her mother-in-law.

She said she could have kept the child if she was quiet about it being born with teeth.

Grandchildren hope to fulfil woman's wish

Unfortunately, Tan does not have a copy of her daughter's birth certificate, which might have lent her more details on how to locate her daughter all these years later.

There were also no adoption papers, as the adoption process was carried out informally and without proper documentation.

Still, at her advanced age, Tan hopes to be able to reunite with her now 66-year-old daughter again, and expressed this desire to her grandchildren.

Jasmine told Mothership that this was her grandmother's only wish in her old age.

"All children are precious to their mothers," said Tan when asked about this wish of hers.

https://mothership.sg/2022/09/woman-looking-for-adopted-daughter/?utm_source=tele&utm_medium=referral

[Tianmo]

So sad.

Superstition of the olden days really mass up many lives.

 

[Ender]

I think those time giving away unwanted children to childless couple from different race is not uncommon. My in law side got one adopted indian man.. He is 100% indian in gene, but speaks like a typicial singaore chinese, the dialect, mandarin, english accent the same.

[Arogab]

Now 93 and looking for her daughter, wonder if the daughter is still around

[Picnic06-Biante15]

4 minutes ago, Tianmo said:

So sad.

Superstition of the olden days really mass up many lives.

 

Yalor .....

Hope nowadays peoples are so carefree like you, don't believe in anything except pocket full of $$$$$$  .... 

[RadX]

8 minutes ago, Tianmo said:

So sad.

Superstition of the olden days really mass up many lives.

 

if u know my story lagi good....i houdini even from the womb...hahahah...escaped abortion...when it was legalised that time, BUT mandatory counselling as a requirement turned the tables...........

 

Guess it was for the better as my mom then would not have been able to care for me like how my foster parents did🙏

[Ender]

2 minutes ago, RadX said:

if u know my story lagi good....i houdini even from the womb...hahahah...escaped abortion...when it was legalised that time, BUT mandatory counselling as a requirement turned the tables...........

 

Guess it was for the better as my mom then would not have been able to care for me like how my foster parents did🙏

You got reunite with you mom?

[RadX]

Just now, Ender said:

You got reunite with you mom?

nope....immaterial to me as she would have made that decision for her own sanity...water under the bridge and who rasied you is your real mom...to me, that is

[Ender]

Just now, RadX said:

nope....immaterial to me as she would have made that decision for her own sanity...water under the bridge and who rasied you is your real mom...to me, that is

I guess the daugther might feel the same way, may not want to reunite with the 93 yrs old woman..

[RadX]

Just now, Ender said:

I guess the daugther might feel the same way, may not want to reunite with the 93 yrs old woman..

agree...what's done is best left behind. 

[Picnic06-Biante15]

Just now, Ender said:

I guess the daugther might feel the same way, may not want to reunite with the 93 yrs old woman..

The daughter might not be around in these world if one works back to the age of the mother.... 

70+ .... 

[Tianmo]

2 minutes ago, RadX said:

if u know my story lagi good....i houdini even from the womb...hahahah...escaped abortion...when it was legalised. 

 

Guess it was for the better as my mom then would not have been able to care for me like how my foster parents did🙏

Well, maybe everything does happen for a reason, and bad things really happen for a good reason.  

Lucky you, otherwise maybe you no cher liao, but lecher.

 

 

[mersaylee]

7 minutes ago, Tianmo said:

Well, maybe everything does happen for a reason, and bad things really happen for a good reason.  

Lucky you, otherwise maybe you no cher liao, but lecher.

 

 

Lecherous Cher also have...or so I heard 😁

[mersaylee]

A late aunt of mine was a gave away child...still kept in touch with her paternal side of family regularly till she passed on...could even speak the adopted family's dialect fluently...a jovial character whom not perturbed by her plight...

[Picnic06-Biante15]

22 minutes ago, RadX said:

if u know my story lagi good....i houdini even from the womb...hahahah...escaped abortion...when it was legalised that time, BUT mandatory counselling as a requirement turned the tables...........

 

Guess it was for the better as my mom then would not have been able to care for me like how my foster parents did🙏

Maybe its a blessing in disguise...... 🙏

If not, you could be one of those Ah Beng or Ah Seng roaming the streets looking for a fight or worst still Ah Long (loan shark) and always on the run from Police.... 

[RadX]

Just now, Picnic06-Biante15 said:

Maybe its a blessing in disguise...... 🙏

If not, you could be one of those Ah Beng or Ah Seng roaming the streets looking for a fight or worst still Ah Long (loan shark) and always on the run from Police.... 

exactly......

[Beregond]

44 minutes ago, Tianmo said:

So sad.

Superstition of the olden days really mass up many lives.

 

Not only last time, Its happening even now.
Know a real case where the pregnant mum need operation urgently for the baby to come out , but due to religion and believe from that lady and her mother side, The operation didnt go ahead, the baby is born still dead, doctor manage to save the baby back.
That is the real tragedy, baby is born with alot of life time issue. very very sad case......

[Fitvip]

1 hour ago, Tianmo said:

So sad.

Superstition of the olden days really mass up many lives.

 

Give away is still better than terminated after birth. It is still happening now.😪