Things to do to keep the marriage exciting and healthy?

[Karpi]

Of late I have sort of ran out of things to do with my wife. Besides the usual groceries purchase, attending church, and little shopping we basically do nothing new as a couple. and recently she's busy so i have been hanging out with my colleagues after work and it involves colleague... and i have to remind myself i am married...

 

 

i surprised wife with mcdelivery breakfast last week... but received mixed reception. She told me she preferred big breakfast instead of pancakes and commented that it is expensive with delivery charge and asked me y don't eat with her at mcdonalds instead.... but eventually she still thanked me for the breakfast.

 

this is the 4th year with her liao .. what couple stuff do u guys usually do? i want to fall over for her again...

 

Bro....i guess lately you are either too bored, or you are guilty or last but not least, thinking

or over concerned too much.

 

A simple lifestyle could be so easily mistaken as dull, boring, r'ship is deteriotating..etc, sometimes.

As long, both you and your partner enjoyed doing anything together, little little small effort are seen,

etc. Then do not worry so much mate.

 

Simplicity is a blessing....however it's easily being mistaken as

something is amiss as lacked of excitement.

 

 

to add:

1) wkends morning could bring her to neigbourhoods that both of u seldom go before

for breakfast or your old house neighbourhood/or your wife's old neighbourhood

 

2) watching drama series together

 

3) jogging/play badminton come up with a reason...or objective...like keeping down weight.

Edited April 6, 2009 by Karpi

[Karoon]

I was in this s--t last month....my marriage almost fell apart, almost ending up divorce.

 

I become suspicious when she lock her hp, coming home late, always go out, msning away till very late like 2-3am everynite...etc, etc

 

then i had done something unscrupulous, install msn chat logger in the PC, found out little affair she had.(heng, the guy reject, cos she was married!!). In the end, it was just crush. Had confronted with her, everything is over between them and at the same time, another came in my life, she conforms me, give me all the support but her words are quite negative, ask me to divorce her lah, once a leopard will never change its spot lah....wah kaozz. Ok I admit she was my ex b4 i got married, b4 all this s--t happens, i was itchy backside talking about the time we are together b4 i was married..etc etc.

 

She was married too, but her husband kind of neglect her, all day spend on playing computer games, she kind of regret marring him, saying it is on impluse because i was married back then....I'm feeling quite guilty about it, like i had make her to become like tat.

 

so after communicating about with my wife about her little affair and her own freedom, we had make a pact about arranging our time, weekends are ours, weekdays we can go out with friends but must come home even if its very late, if too late call me and i go fetch her....She also had make effort in saving this marriage, so I give her the 2nd chance.

 

About the gal, i now really had to clear this mess....she is sticking to me, trying to make me leave my wife....jialet man

 

ahem... so you did not communicate to your wife about your little affair?

bravo! YOU, sir, are THE MAN!

Edited April 6, 2009 by Karoon

[Jerry]

I was in this s--t last month....my marriage almost fell apart, almost ending up divorce.

 

I become suspicious when she lock her hp, coming home late, always go out, msning away till very late like 2-3am everynite...etc, etc

 

then i had done something unscrupulous, install msn chat logger in the PC, found out little affair she had.(heng, the guy reject, cos she was married!!). In the end, it was just crush. Had confronted with her, everything is over between them and at the same time, another came in my life, she conforms me, give me all the support but her words are quite negative, ask me to divorce her lah, once a leopard will never change its spot lah....wah kaozz. Ok I admit she was my ex b4 i got married, b4 all this s--t happens, i was itchy backside talking about the time we are together b4 i was married..etc etc.

 

She was married too, but her husband kind of neglect her, all day spend on playing computer games, she kind of regret marring him, saying it is on impluse because i was married back then....I'm feeling quite guilty about it, like i had make her to become like tat.

 

so after communicating about with my wife about her little affair and her own freedom, we had make a pact about arranging our time, weekends are ours, weekdays we can go out with friends but must come home even if its very late, if too late call me and i go fetch her....She also had make effort in saving this marriage, so I give her the 2nd chance.

 

About the gal, i now really had to clear this mess....she is sticking to me, trying to make me leave my wife....jialet man

 

Wah bro,where to download this msn key logger ah?

 

[Drive_carcar]

Actually many many men are members of the green beret club and they are non the wiser.

 

Women have a very finely tuned instinct, and if their men strays, they can feel it. While men tend to be rather blur sotong.

 

I have this buddy who had an affair with a married woman, even got her pregnant accidentally, she went for an abortion, and then they broke up. All these while the hubby was simply clueless, just busy with their work.

 

Even for me, my wife recently admited to me there were nights where she went out while I was sound asleep, and I was also totally unaware. So there's always a chance that I'm a member of the green beret club like others.

 

On the other hand, while I had been absolutely faithful to my wife, she had always been suspicious. There was a time she was so highly strung about a certain chio girl living in my block, suspecting me of having "something" with her, when at that time I had never dared entertained that thought. I mean we know one another, and are at most only on Hi Hi terms when we run into each other and nothing else. Even that she can be suspicious.

 

So life is not really fair sometimes.

 

[Limhm]

Ya lor Ya lor.........There is no reasons not wanting kids. Just plain excuses IMHO.

 

Nobody knows how to care fo kids from the start. Its a learn as u pay process.

 

And ya....1 kid no kick, too easy liao. Having 2 then will get some real pressure.

 

Keke...we talking from real life experience le...

 

My 2 boys can love each other n fight tgt like nobody bizzz...fight for a toy, blanket, pillow, sweet....love each so much when the daddy beat one of them...n the other trying to protect the other...brotherhood...

 

When my hb n I talk abt it, we started to laugh...felt they r so cute....No pain no gain le....

 

4yrs of marriage for TS, really too long a time to waste not to hav kiddos....to tink bk, I rather hav kids much younger...faster to be a lao kok kok grandma le.....now my boys still so young...haiz....

[Limhm]

Listen here. For a woman, foreplay is a day long affair. Start in the morning and drag it till the end of the day when you hit the sheets.

 

How you do it all day long, it is up to you. I can't give anymore tips on this.

 

 

Foreplay all day long, sure not? IMO, most men dun foreplay le. Do wife like a routine thing...15mins n it's done.

 

Some dun even feel like touching their wives...or maybe the wives oso dun wan....haiz...

[Limhm]

buy her some lacy lingerie?

 

No nid lacy lingerie le....it's not a permanent solution...maybe 1st time see, thrilling ...2nd time, the lingerie can keep in store room le.

 

Another suggestion....I feel tat hb n wife shd talk "dirty" in smses or when talking...can really spice up life. me n hb still doin such...even in front of our boys...but they do not know wat we r talking abt....we will whisper, giggle n laugh tgt...my hb still hug n kiss me in front of my boys...my boys will get jealous n run to us n we will then hug n kiss our boys tgt....tat's e joy.

 

[Tigershark1976]

its difficult to resist. All guys can undestand.. jus go ahead for some fun once in a while, dun get involved in some long term relationship , I think 99% of the man willdo the same, remember to wear "raincoats", dun get "flu" and starts to spread it to ur family...

 

Most man will felt bad after doing such thing, and treat their wife/ GF better after all the going thru a stormy night with another woman. That, i believe, could help to improve the relationship... so, having afair outside may not be a bad thing afterall (provided that u dun get caught)

 

Anyway, if you have nice lobang but not willing to risk ur happiness, pm me, I can sacrify myself and behalf of u/ i promise to write a compehensive field report and share with u after all the fun and thrill..

Edited April 6, 2009 by Tigershark1976

[Shull]

its difficult to resist. All guys can undestand.. jus go ahead for some fun once in a while, dun get involved in some long term relationship , I think 99% of the man willdo the same, remember to wear "raincoats", dun get "flu" and starts to spread it to ur family...

 

Most man will felt bad after doing such thing, and treat their wife/ GF better after all the going thru a stormy night with another woman. That, i believe, could help to improve the relationship... so, having afair outside may not be a bad thing afterall (provided that u dun get caught)

 

Anyway, if you have nice lobang but not willing to risk ur happiness, pm me, I can sacrify myself and behalf of u/ i promise to write a compehensive field report and share with u after all the fun and thrill..

 

you hor..teach ppl bad things only.. [laugh]

 

[Shull]

Actually many many men are members of the green beret club and they are non the wiser.

 

Women have a very finely tuned instinct, and if their men strays, they can feel it. While men tend to be rather blur sotong.

 

I have this buddy who had an affair with a married woman, even got her pregnant accidentally, she went for an abortion, and then they broke up. All these while the hubby was simply clueless, just busy with their work.

 

Even for me, my wife recently admited to me there were nights where she went out while I was sound asleep, and I was also totally unaware. So there's always a chance that I'm a member of the green beret club like others.

 

On the other hand, while I had been absolutely faithful to my wife, she had always been suspicious. There was a time she was so highly strung about a certain chio girl living in my block, suspecting me of having "something" with her, when at that time I had never dared entertained that thought. I mean we know one another, and are at most only on Hi Hi terms when we run into each other and nothing else. Even that she can be suspicious.

 

So life is not really fair sometimes.

 

nbz..now i read your post..can't help to wonder whether i am in the club also..

[Lab4games]

Bro, don't be too confident. No time or not enough times doesn't mean nothing happened. There is 1001 ways if someone wanted to see bf outside.

 

after her degree then it may happen.

right now she spending alot of time in school and on assignments. Unless her bf goes to lesson with her or is in her office, she basically is not cheating..

 

she uses the laptop openly in front of me, i can see what she's doing on the screen. even if she tries to hide, she cannot hide! all my computers at home have remote control. i can connect and see whatever she's doing "live". in case u guys are interested, check out ultravnc, tightvnc.

 

 

[Lab4games]

ok ... so here is the bad news

 

smarty pants internet agony aunts are useless for things like these but i will still tell you what i think, no matter how bad or how difficult it is to spell it out.

 

last semesters in degree courses are usually very exhilerating !!

its like ROD mood. You basically dont F k care liao... come hell or high water

same feeling for my basic... same feeling for my masters. esp for Masters class, where there is no 1st klass or 2nd crass to think about

 

like someone suggested, do a quick chk on what is going on behind the computer screen.

you may not like what you are going to find out.

but good or bad, i feel as a spouse, you deserve to know.

 

and you just have to accept the outcome, bcos nothing can be changed already.

yes you can still try to make it work or etc etc ... but to me, a broken mirror will always have cracks.

try to it work becomes more artificial after that

there is no more emotional union

 

i wish you all the best

i realize not everyone's lives will end with "they lived happily ever after", yet i wish it befalls on no one at all.

 

ever since feb i have not disturbed her whenever she wants to concentrate on her assignments. i would consider about her feelings like if i were to just go out and leave her alone at home, she may not be happy. i stayed home to do my own things and at the same time accompany her. but but!! stay at home sometimes can lead to arguments.

 

after so many replies, i have found things to do with her. just wait till she's free. with all these stress she has, i can sense she's not feeling the same in this marriage. so am i. hope it is reversible and just temporal. only time will tell. right now, must avoid pissing her off, she's like a ticking time bomb

 

amist all these cloud of dark clouds, once in a while she still cares. like yest she bought me breakfast be4 leaving the house (must be because i bought her breakfast last fri).

 

ok la i think everything will be ok once she's not so stressed. then will work on spicing up the marriage.

Edited April 6, 2009 by Lab4games

[Freestylers09]

marriage got so scary one ah?

[Lab4games]

I was in this s--t last month....my marriage almost fell apart, almost ending up divorce.

 

I become suspicious when she lock her hp, coming home late, always go out, msning away till very late like 2-3am everynite...etc, etc

 

then i had done something unscrupulous, install msn chat logger in the PC, found out little affair she had.(heng, the guy reject, cos she was married!!). In the end, it was just crush. Had confronted with her, everything is over between them and at the same time, another came in my life, she conforms me, give me all the support but her words are quite negative, ask me to divorce her lah, once a leopard will never change its spot lah....wah kaozz. Ok I admit she was my ex b4 i got married, b4 all this s--t happens, i was itchy backside talking about the time we are together b4 i was married..etc etc.

 

She was married too, but her husband kind of neglect her, all day spend on playing computer games, she kind of regret marring him, saying it is on impluse because i was married back then....I'm feeling quite guilty about it, like i had make her to become like tat.

 

so after communicating about with my wife about her little affair and her own freedom, we had make a pact about arranging our time, weekends are ours, weekdays we can go out with friends but must come home even if its very late, if too late call me and i go fetch her....She also had make effort in saving this marriage, so I give her the 2nd chance.

 

About the gal, i now really had to clear this mess....she is sticking to me, trying to make me leave my wife....jialet man

 

u really have a big heart la. but after all these mess, do u feel ur marriage is better or worst?

 

[Lab4games]

its difficult to resist. All guys can undestand.. jus go ahead for some fun once in a while, dun get involved in some long term relationship , I think 99% of the man willdo the same, remember to wear "raincoats", dun get "flu" and starts to spread it to ur family...

 

Most man will felt bad after doing such thing, and treat their wife/ GF better after all the going thru a stormy night with another woman. That, i believe, could help to improve the relationship... so, having afair outside may not be a bad thing afterall (provided that u dun get caught)

 

Anyway, if you have nice lobang but not willing to risk ur happiness, pm me, I can sacrify myself and behalf of u/ i promise to write a compehensive field report and share with u after all the fun and thrill..

 

if after playing, the heart gets involved then machiam suicide? is fun to play but also must see what type of u r playing with...

[Morgan01]

I think it's hightime you guys look seriously into having kids . Without kids , you'll be bored after work , weekend etc and eventually may end up with a affair .

It's another step towards adulthood and responsibility , just do it .

 

i know many married couple with kids also involved in affairs...so worse case with kids as it affects them also.

 

[DonDon]

Communication is key and not let your thoughts wonders.

 

BTW, when was the last time you did her some flowers? You do not need to await for an occasion or an anniversary to say those 3 words.

 

I am on my 7th yrs into the marriage w/o kids and more important that we care to take that extra miles to make it work.

 

How about doing a MCF meetup in making our vow to our other love? Group buy flowers?

[Rainman]

Go ahead and have an affair, when you are done you will return home with more love for your wife....

 

The bird will return to its cage when it has to....

 

Ultimately you scratch where the itch is, right?

 

Just kidding...lol

 

My advice is : Say no to the whatever temptation you have, be a bad guy to watever if you have... Ultimately there's is nothing wrong on your wife part..so dun let her down

 

Cheers!