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#1

Posted 24 November 2010 - 12:23 AM

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Mind sharing your experiences on managing your anger? I am prepared to be flamed and the usual but i find myself getting angry all too often on the roads. Having said that, i am inclined to think that i have faced an undue amount of non-routine incidents n the road (no. of incidents encountered per unit time spent on road) I think i am just being unlucky.

Some of such events include a person who continue to sashay on the shoulder of the 1st lane of the road even after horning him or her. I count this event as being non-routine as i don't regard such acts as being normal human behaviour.

Okay my point now is, i keep telling myself that there are rules and unofficial rules which are socially observed and i abide to. When i encounter instances where there is a flagrant disregard, i get very worked up and the incident keeps ruminating in my mind. I think it is very unhealthy. I don't want my mind to be consumed by anger eventually.

Thanks for reading and hope to read your inputs.
1923 - 2015. You will be missed. Any possibility you can come back and salvage the current mess? Pretty please?

#2

Posted 24 November 2010 - 01:00 AM

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maybe u shld go to a therapist for some counselling first? anger can be traced to other emotions or problems that are within yourself or linked to your history in the past or within your family.

I also get impatient whenever i drive. but when i'm not driving, i'm a cool person. nothing makes me feel so impatient as driving. Even a slightest delay such as small jam or some kayu slow driver will upset me.

I realised that i find driving is a waste of time and i always want to get to my destination as fast as i can.

I find it strange, but i'm trying to cool down whenever i drive.
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#3

Posted 24 November 2010 - 01:04 AM

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I always remind myself of this sentence:

Hate is baggage. Life's too short to be pissed off all the time. It's just not worth it.

These were the words at end of the movie American History X.

Edited by Fcw75, 24 November 2010 - 01:08 AM.


#4

Posted 24 November 2010 - 01:08 AM

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no point getting angry la, how much time can you save?

but if its a closely avoided accident, well feel free to show the finger, the guy deserves it anyway.
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#5

Posted 24 November 2010 - 01:21 AM

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Maybe you are, knowingly or unknowingly, facing more stress than usual due to work or other issues?

Driving in stressful environments often brings out the worst in anyone, especially when one is already not in the best mood. I think one good way to keep cool (works well for me personally) is to always telling yourself that from the very day you started driving, anywhere in the world and especially in a place like Singapore, you can expect to meet a lot of inconsiderate and even crazy actions on the road on every single journey (it's a fact, you can't change that), so when I do encounter them I won't get surprised or worked up. To this day I sometimes still get shocked by things people do on the road but still, keeping this mindset works well for me to keep cool and relaxed.

Also, there's always the temptation to chase up to someone who pulled some stunt on you and give him a piece of your mind (or for some people, the middle finger), but I always think to myself that one day the person will get taught a lesson by someone else or by his own reckless driving. Don't let someone you don't even know and should by rights forget within a few minutes spoil your day.

#6

Posted 24 November 2010 - 01:57 AM

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Mind sharing your experiences on managing your anger? I am prepared to be flamed and the usual but i find myself getting angry all too often on the roads. Having said that, i am inclined to think that i have faced an undue amount of non-routine incidents n the road (no. of incidents encountered per unit time spent on road) I think i am just being unlucky.

Some of such events include a person who continue to sashay on the shoulder of the 1st lane of the road even after horning him or her. I count this event as being non-routine as i don't regard such acts as being normal human behaviour.

Okay my point now is, i keep telling myself that there are rules and unofficial rules which are socially observed and i abide to. When i encounter instances where there is a flagrant disregard, i get very worked up and the incident keeps ruminating in my mind. I think it is very unhealthy. I don't want my mind to be consumed by anger eventually.

Thanks for reading and hope to read your inputs.


dude...you should learn from me......I use my horn less than 5 times a year and I find driving a great pleasure in Singapore. tongue.gif I am not kidding.

It's not that there isn't kayu drivers whenever I drive...but after driving for more than 15 years, I realised that kayu drivers are part and parcel of driving. I have learned to accept them as part of driving. When you have accepted them, you will be numb towards their behaviour and you will know when to 'siam" or anticipate their stunt before it actually affect you.

I have also learned that angry drivers or impatient drivers often get into accident and start blaming others. I have a colleague who uses his horn like 3-4 times everytime he drives and he also get into 3-4 times of accident every year. I am not surprised why. And he is not the only one. There is a clear correlation between those who often gets angry fast and those who often get into accidents.

In the last 15 years, I have zero accidents, and I drive about 25,000km per year. And I find driving a great pleasure. No pedestrian, motorcyclist or kayu drivers affect me. You just have to avoid them, give way to them or whatever as long your drive is safe. What is the point of getting angry? Not like as if the other driver will know. What is the point of showing finger and horning? It's not like he can undo what that has already been done.

Live and let live is the way to go.

Happy driving!

Edited by Icedbs, 24 November 2010 - 01:59 AM.


#7

Posted 24 November 2010 - 02:27 AM

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Mind sharing your experiences on managing your anger?








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#8

Posted 24 November 2010 - 04:19 AM

Good-Carbuyer

Mind sharing your experiences on managing your anger? I am prepared to be flamed and the usual but i find myself getting angry all too often on the roads. Having said that, i am inclined to think that i have faced an undue amount of non-routine incidents n the road (no. of incidents encountered per unit time spent on road) I think i am just being unlucky.

Some of such events include a person who continue to sashay on the shoulder of the 1st lane of the road even after horning him or her. I count this event as being non-routine as i don't regard such acts as being normal human behaviour.

Okay my point now is, i keep telling myself that there are rules and unofficial rules which are socially observed and i abide to. When i encounter instances where there is a flagrant disregard, i get very worked up and the incident keeps ruminating in my mind. I think it is very unhealthy. I don't want my mind to be consumed by anger eventually.

Thanks for reading and hope to read your inputs.

Once recommended someone to drink water more frequently (it may helps if yours also due to dehydration sensitivity). I have no means to vertify if you are really unlucky or not. More/many people get angry due to unfriendly/perceived unfriendly observations (unable to solve some issues). Anger more often than not, retard your solution solving skills. You got the point. You are right. Irrelevant anger does seem to advance pre-mature aging sonsuming useful problem solving time available.
If you only get angry more easily while driving, it could be due to the awareness/stress of danger/risk encountered
Furthering research on the sources and solutions for various problems can help on precautions/preventive measures available (I heard sometimes counselling can help?)
Let us hope others have better ideas to share

Edited by Good-Carbuyer, 24 November 2010 - 04:24 AM.


#9

Posted 24 November 2010 - 04:31 AM

Good-Carbuyer

maybe u shld go to a therapist for some counselling first? anger can be traced to other emotions or problems that are within yourself or linked to your history in the past or within your family.

I also get impatient whenever i drive. but when i'm not driving, i'm a cool person. nothing makes me feel so impatient as driving. Even a slightest delay such as small jam or some kayu slow driver will upset me.

I realised that i find driving is a waste of time and i always want to get to my destination as fast as i can.

I find it strange, but i'm trying to cool down whenever i drive.

I believe many/most people do share such observation. It is normal reaction, as driving is basically an above usual exposure to danger/risk (only a little abnormal person would not notice this). I believe road-rage are those who reached panic-level and lose their mind. However, we need to learn to adapt to traffic jams or learn to detour traffic jams to enjoy driving

#10

Posted 24 November 2010 - 04:35 AM

Good-Carbuyer

no point getting angry la, how much time can you save?

but if its a closely avoided accident, well feel free to show the finger, the guy deserves it anyway.

More helpful/useful if you could report such observations to the Authority instead. You help make the roads safer for us. Many thanks
To save time, learn to detour traffic jams (many daily ones here)

#11

Posted 24 November 2010 - 04:41 AM

Good-Carbuyer

Maybe you are, knowingly or unknowingly, facing more stress than usual due to work or other issues?

Driving in stressful environments often brings out the worst in anyone, especially when one is already not in the best mood. I think one good way to keep cool (works well for me personally) is to always telling yourself that from the very day you started driving, anywhere in the world and especially in a place like Singapore, you can expect to meet a lot of inconsiderate and even crazy actions on the road on every single journey (it's a fact, you can't change that), so when I do encounter them I won't get surprised or worked up. To this day I sometimes still get shocked by things people do on the road but still, keeping this mindset works well for me to keep cool and relaxed.

Also, there's always the temptation to chase up to someone who pulled some stunt on you and give him a piece of your mind (or for some people, the middle finger), but I always think to myself that one day the person will get taught a lesson by someone else or by his own reckless driving. Don't let someone you don't even know and should by rights forget within a few minutes spoil your day.

I believe it is more helpful/useful to report any such observations to the Authority. Let the Authority educate/enligthen the other driver(s). However, you need precaution/prevetive measures to defence yourself, by yourself against road-rage (road-rage can be assumption by others that you are at fault instead of them). That is, when the other driver made a mistake (like Highway Code ignorance/ lacks driving skill), he thought/believed you to be the one at fault

Edited by Good-Carbuyer, 24 November 2010 - 04:44 AM.


#12

Posted 24 November 2010 - 04:50 AM

Good-Carbuyer

dude...you should learn from me......I use my horn less than 5 times a year and I find driving a great pleasure in Singapore. tongue.gif I am not kidding.

It's not that there isn't kayu drivers whenever I drive...but after driving for more than 15 years, I realised that kayu drivers are part and parcel of driving. I have learned to accept them as part of driving. When you have accepted them, you will be numb towards their behaviour and you will know when to 'siam" or anticipate their stunt before it actually affect you.

I have also learned that angry drivers or impatient drivers often get into accident and start blaming others. I have a colleague who uses his horn like 3-4 times everytime he drives and he also get into 3-4 times of accident every year. I am not surprised why. And he is not the only one. There is a clear correlation between those who often gets angry fast and those who often get into accidents.

In the last 15 years, I have zero accidents, and I drive about 25,000km per year. And I find driving a great pleasure. No pedestrian, motorcyclist or kayu drivers affect me. You just have to avoid them, give way to them or whatever as long your drive is safe. What is the point of getting angry? Not like as if the other driver will know. What is the point of showing finger and horning? It's not like he can undo what that has already been done.

Live and let live is the way to go.

Happy driving!

I believe we all appreciate and very thankful if you also report any such observations to the Authority. You help make the roads safer for us. Many thanks.

#13

Posted 24 November 2010 - 05:22 AM

Good-Carbuyer
[quote name='Icedbs' date='Nov 24 2010, 01:57 AM' post='3474843']
dude...you should learn from me......I use my horn less than 5 times a year and I find driving a great pleasure in Singapore. [:p] I am not kidding.

It's not that there isn't kayu drivers whenever I drive...but after driving for more than 15 years, I realised that kayu drivers are part and parcel of driving. I have learned to accept them as part of driving. When you have accepted them, you will be numb towards their behaviour and you will know when to 'siam" or anticipate their stunt before it actually affect you.

I have also learned that angry drivers or impatient drivers often get into accident and start blaming others. I have a colleague who uses his horn like 3-4 times everytime he drives and he also get into 3-4 times of accident every year. I am not surprised why. And he is not the only one. There is a clear correlation between those who often gets angry fast and those who often get into accidents.

In the last 15 years, I have zero accidents, and I drive about 25,000km per year. And I find driving a great pleasure. No pedestrian, motorcyclist or kayu drivers affect me. You just have to avoid them, give way to them or whatever as long your drive is safe. What is the point of getting angry? Not like as if the other driver will know. What is the point of showing finger and horning? It's not like he can undo what that has already been done.

Live and let live is the way

#14

Posted 24 November 2010 - 07:58 AM

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Interesting, there was an episode on 5th gear on a guy that always angry, impatient, & foul mouth behind wheels. But when he got out of the car to the street. He behave normally, queue up for ATM, walk the crowded street without any sign of anger or impatient.

The host think that when you are under a "shell of protection", there's an inner demon that came out of you. This is not unlike people write stuff that they don't normally will talk or react, when they are behind a keyboard.

I think the key to anger management to relate driving as you walk in a street. Do you say "please give way", when someone walk slow in front of you?

Anger can easily lead to aggressiveness, & this aggressiveness can lead to accident. Stay calm, have patient with "kayu" driver. Tell yourself its not worth making yourself angry for small matters.

#15

Posted 24 November 2010 - 08:22 AM

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Road rage is common and maybe due to traffic or in rush, we get aggitated at road hoggers or people who change lanes w/o looking.

What I dont understand is why some forerunners/posters sound like they are constipated with anger? Just look at any topic in Lite & EZ and chances are that you will find some nutter getting angry and pissed off for no reason or another nutter who flame someone, again for reasons unknown.

Maybe Sg society is increasingly stressed due to urban competitive for resources and from a dog eat dog world, these people just turn into mad dogs? laugh.gif

#16

Posted 24 November 2010 - 08:35 AM

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Mind sharing your experiences on managing your anger? I am prepared to be flamed and the usual but i find myself getting angry all too often on the roads. Having said that, i am inclined to think that i have faced an undue amount of non-routine incidents n the road (no. of incidents encountered per unit time spent on road) I think i am just being unlucky.

Some of such events include a person who continue to sashay on the shoulder of the 1st lane of the road even after horning him or her. I count this event as being non-routine as i don't regard such acts as being normal human behaviour.

Okay my point now is, i keep telling myself that there are rules and unofficial rules which are socially observed and i abide to. When i encounter instances where there is a flagrant disregard, i get very worked up and the incident keeps ruminating in my mind. I think it is very unhealthy. I don't want my mind to be consumed by anger eventually.

Thanks for reading and hope to read your inputs.


1st, you must admit that you have an uncontrollable anger within yourself. though you have pointed out this (as above) but you reasoned on your behaviour by provocations due to disobeying rules by others.
you must know managing your anger is about yourself!

example; sounding the horn - its not to warn others of your next behaviour, its about his/her safety that lead to yours.
but if you have the tolerance to provide his/her safety, example by slowing down, giving way or avoid them as far as possible, then its part of your anger management that there is no need to horn & just move on.
in short, dun give yourself any 'good reason' to flare even if others have broken the rules that you deems its right for you.
you may loose it a while & retaliate, but do not act in impulse! you may hi-beam or horn. but do not push yourself further to next actions if the other party 'bounce back' at you.
tell yourself that its enuff what you have done, you are not gonna waste anymore time & move on to your more valuable chores with no further delay......

1 example is to have a mirror on your face expression when you are angry - this reflectst the urgliness of you that you wanna remove.

an angry look gives out the impression that we are wrong, even if we are right.
you wanna be the smiling guy (with knife) - xiao lu chang dao
you dun wanna be the mad dog (without teeth)
keep your good posture and you will win the day!


#17

Posted 24 November 2010 - 09:38 AM

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Mind sharing your experiences on managing your anger? I am prepared to be flamed and the usual but i find myself getting angry all too often on the roads. Having said that, i am inclined to think that i have faced an undue amount of non-routine incidents n the road (no. of incidents encountered per unit time spent on road) I think i am just being unlucky.

Some of such events include a person who continue to sashay on the shoulder of the 1st lane of the road even after horning him or her. I count this event as being non-routine as i don't regard such acts as being normal human behaviour.

Okay my point now is, i keep telling myself that there are rules and unofficial rules which are socially observed and i abide to. When i encounter instances where there is a flagrant disregard, i get very worked up and the incident keeps ruminating in my mind. I think it is very unhealthy. I don't want my mind to be consumed by anger eventually.

Thanks for reading and hope to read your inputs.



Anger on the road is a different behavior which I wont consider that it needs treatment. Unless it become an extreme that you follow the guy home and bash him up, if just a honk or slightly aggressive, it will go away after a few mins.


骑白马的不一定是王 ,可能是唐僧;带翅膀的也不一定是天使,有时候是鸟人。

#18

Posted 24 November 2010 - 09:41 AM

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I believe 99% of guys here get angry on the road (read the complaint threads) ...

The different is whether you reaction is extreme that may cause danger to yourself and other road user, we usually have the ability to control our anger and that is already a kind of anger management.
骑白马的不一定是王 ,可能是唐僧;带翅膀的也不一定是天使,有时候是鸟人。

#19

Posted 24 November 2010 - 10:13 AM

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Mind sharing your experiences on managing your anger? I am prepared to be flamed and the usual but i find myself getting angry all too often on the roads. Having said that, i am inclined to think that i have faced an undue amount of non-routine incidents n the road (no. of incidents encountered per unit time spent on road) I think i am just being unlucky.

Some of such events include a person who continue to sashay on the shoulder of the 1st lane of the road even after horning him or her. I count this event as being non-routine as i don't regard such acts as being normal human behaviour.

Okay my point now is, i keep telling myself that there are rules and unofficial rules which are socially observed and i abide to. When i encounter instances where there is a flagrant disregard, i get very worked up and the incident keeps ruminating in my mind. I think it is very unhealthy. I don't want my mind to be consumed by anger eventually.

Thanks for reading and hope to read your inputs.


I think of the buddha, really.

Think of the bad aura that you create will chase the money god away, likedat how to tio 4D?

合气生财 biggrin.gif





#20

Posted 24 November 2010 - 11:52 AM

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hey guys, i really appreciate your inputs. I will give careful thought to what you said. Some of you pointed out that it could be a background cause, you are right, i have been under undue stress for the past 3 years and the strange thing is though i am able to suppress it while going about my routine everyday, when it comes to the road, i find it hard to keep it on leash.

Thanks for the inputs flowerface.gif
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