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Living up to other's expectations?


Ahtong
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Out of curiosity, how many people feel they are their own men / women, living their own lives to their fullest?

 

How many feel they are actually struggling to live their lives based on other people's expectations?

 

For some reason, you are obliged to validate other people's lives by accomplishing what they failed to do.

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everybody life is like that one what? my boss expects me to perform [sweatdrop] , my wife expects me to perform [grin], my kids expects me to bring home the bacon ^_^ , my parents expects me to take care of them in their old age [grouphug]

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i think it is more of our own expectation (rather than others) that really weighs us down very much. like how we want ourselve to achieve success to provide for our loved ones.

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If your expectations are aligned with your wife's, your boss', your parents', your children's, ... expectations then everybody will be fine. There is no problems with "living up to other's expectations".

 

The problem comes when the expectations cannot be aligned, expect too much, expect too little. Once the expectation is set, it is not easy to lower.

 

 

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try personal best. for me my family and my own business matters the most.

 

My boss, try my personal best but always my best is never good enough thus will just try so long he keep paying me. The day he stop paying is the day i stop trying

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Supercharged

Out of curiosity, how many people feel they are their own men / women, living their own lives to their fullest?

 

How many feel they are actually struggling to live their lives based on other people's expectations?

 

For some reason, you are obliged to validate other people's lives by accomplishing what they failed to do.

 

That's what Steve Jobs said in his speech. "Never live your life based on other people's expectations". If he had lived on other people's expectation, he would not have achieved so much for us.

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That's what Steve Jobs said in his speech. "Never live your life based on other people's expectations". If he had lived on other people's expectation, he would not have achieved so much for us.

 

I think his early life was not so easy, being given up for adoption when young, by unwed mother, and to a couple of modest means and not highly educated... so, in a sense, he was lucky that he did not have parents who put very high expectations on him and expect him to live up to whatever standards. He was free to experiment, do what he wanted, drop out of college if he so wished, etc.

 

I know people who are in well-to-do families and despite easy life, they are not happy because their parents do expect them to somehow achieve greater heights, especially in education and future career. Even if they want to experiment, e.g. with different career/lifestyle, ultimately the expectation on them is: so did you do better - as in terms of income?? And not: do you enjoy what you're doing for a living?

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Life is too short to live for others.

Except your loves one. [:)]

 

There was a time, I 'resigned' to live the simple typical Singapore graduate life like most of my friends. Study, go collage, get a job, climb the corporate ladder, jump ship to get better pay. Have a nice wive & a couple of kids (the part never change though). A far cry from what I hope to be when I was young.

 

But what I wanted as a teen can be quite ridiculous as well. Rock Star, fast cars, big house, & hot women anyone! [laugh]

 

But now I know what I really wanted & happy to know I am moving in the right direction, its still a long hard road, but at least I know I am willing to fight for the life I wanted. *Finger cross that my determination shall prevail*

 

I do realize that once you settle down with kids, a lot of things will be impossible, like moving oversea, start a business you wanted, or even change jobs. That's why, when you have a dream, you should fight for it at a young age!

 

 

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Out of curiosity, how many people feel they are their own men / women, living their own lives to their fullest?

How many feel they are actually struggling to live their lives based on other people's expectations?

For some reason, you are obliged to validate other people's lives by accomplishing what they failed to do.

 

no matter how, there is bound to have both combinations.

you struggle to do a good job infront of your bosses/clients/customers/etc.

on the other hand, you did those good jobs so that you can live your own life to your fullest.

it's always a cycle even in 1900s and todays.

 

most importantly is how well you want to struggle to other people's expectations and how contented you want to live on your own life to the fullest. ^_^

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I think his early life was not so easy, being given up for adoption when young, by unwed mother, and to a couple of modest means and not highly educated... so, in a sense, he was lucky that he did not have parents who put very high expectations on him and expect him to live up to whatever standards. He was free to experiment, do what he wanted, drop out of college if he so wished, etc.

 

I know people who are in well-to-do families and despite easy life, they are not happy because their parents do expect them to somehow achieve greater heights, especially in education and future career. Even if they want to experiment, e.g. with different career/lifestyle, ultimately the expectation on them is: so did you do better - as in terms of income?? And not: do you enjoy what you're doing for a living?

 

 

Not really, the couple adopted him work hard and saved up for him to go to college, yet he drop out, this is not expectation then what? Knowing someone spend themlifetime saving for your education and you fail, think he should feel pressured....

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...

I do realize that once you settle down with kids, a lot of things will be impossible, like moving oversea, start a business you wanted, or even change jobs. That's why, when you have a dream, you should fight for it at a young age!

 

...OR NOT GET MARRIED! [laugh]

 

Seriously, there's still time to pursue own interests when kids are older and no longer need so much time and attention. Not for big, big ventures like going overseas, but at least, for pursuing your own hobbies more closely. ... As long as health holds out...

 

It's nice to talk about "no need to live up to expectations", but to some extent, all of us do. Else we would have a very chaotic society with everybody doing whatever they wanted, whenever they felt like it, or not.

Edited by Sosaria
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Whats Steve Job has said is inspirational..Live your own life no matter whats. The problem with most people is that they have no clue what they want to do in the 1st place. I mean, we all like to enjoy the material things and relax all day but that is not a job, that is the reward of a job well loved.

 

Steve Job found what he wanted to do which was change the world with technology and he worked in Apple for US$1 a year, which is basically free and he was a workaholic!

 

Blessed are those who have found what they really love doing cos that is the 1st step. 2nd step is to commit to it no matter what, which is a more natural progression of the 1st step.

 

For those who havent discovered their 1st step, there is the Singapore dogma, which is to get a degree, get married, buy a HDB flat, buy a car, upgrade, reproduce, work in a job which you hopefully find bearable, earn enough money to buy the stuff that makes your friend envious or gain respect from relatives ( this is the part which you live your life for other's), get old and eventually die. The last part happens even if you dont go through steps 1 and 2.

 

Some people find their life's meaning even though they have not found step 1. They find their meaning in loving their children, being charitable, religious or some hobby like being a troll in forums, whichever works for them.

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Some people find their life's meaning even though they have not found step 1. They find their meaning in loving their children, being charitable, religious or some hobby like being a troll in forums, whichever works for them.

 

 

not a bad idea for retiree [laugh] [laugh]

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Expectations never end. So long as happy can already

In Hokkien: hua hee jiu ho liao..... it depends how we set our expectations (targets), too low, maybe not so good, too high, definitely no good, gum gum ho plus another 10% seems about right?.... if my 2.4km run usually ends up 13 mins, next time try 10 seconds less [;)]

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