Why do people commit suicide?

[RH1667]

Also online influence like this game

 

 

https://au.news.yahoo.com/world/a/35221009/police-issue-warning-over-spreading-blue-whale-suicide-game/?cmp=st

KNN, why in the first place does anyone even developed this kind of game?

[Sosaria]

Always puzzles me when reading about perfectly healthy young people, just because of some problems in life, commit suicide.

 

I guess they haven't yet learned to treasure their youth and do not have enough life experiences to compare with their current situation.

 

If only they know what we uncles realize only after it is over, that younger years is the most precious time not to be wasted ...

[LPPL]

I totally don't agree with your statement and You don't really understand why some people wanted or did it. Did you ever try to understand why people want to commit suicide ?

I was in that position 14 years ago and somehow can understand why some took the path.

People must understand that life doesn't belong to us, it is on loan to us and we are in this world for a purpose no matter how miserable the person thinks he/she is. We only have the right to take something away if it belongs to us. Makes sense to you? I understand there is something called depression coz I have lost my because of that, but there are many others suffering that condition without ending their lives.

[Jman888]

strawberry? afraid that he cannot cope staying in US and rather die?

富家子拒留學墮樓亡

星島日報2017年6月29日 上午6:11

 

青年墮樓身亡，消防員駕起升降台將屍體移送地上。

 

【星島日報報道】十九歲姓孫富家子，疑不欲按父親安排到美國升學，昨晨突由西灣河豪宅睡房飛墮平台身亡，父親（四十五歲）目睹愛兒慘狀，傷心欲絕，須送院檢查。

 

死者姓孫，為家中獨子，與父親（四十五歲）、母親及家人同住鯉景灣逸華閣。據悉，姓孫一家近年始由內地移民來港，近日其父安排他到美國升讀大學，但他擔心未能適應，不欲前往，與父曾出現爭拗。

 

昨晨七時許，孫父發現兒子躺臥一樓平台大驚報警，後經證實愛兒已當場身亡，因傷心過度須送東區醫院檢查。警員調查未發現遺書，但死者睡房窗口打開，相信由窗口墮樓，事件無可疑。

 

香港專業輔導協會前會長崔日雄博士稱，家長大多會為子女未來出路籌謀，但須向他們耐心解釋及尊重其決定，畢竟子女仍年輕，可嘗試不同出路，更要學習承擔自己決定的責任。

 

 

 

[Atrecord]

 

strawberry? afraid that he cannot cope staying in US and rather die?

 

 

 

The father must be super distraught over it. Planned for the best for the kid but ended up pushing him to his death instead...

[Jman888]

my girl face different kind of stress and peer pressure is  sec, poly and now intern at work, some kind of bullied but not serious.

 

when we see her feeling down since sec sch, we will insist that she voice out. Now she is more open to tell us her problem, and the talking and discussion help her to see things in other perspectives and cope with behavior (bullied) from other. Currently we also discuss about her problem at work (dealing colleagues and superior) to prepare her for the real working life later on.

 

my boy being a boy (as in male ego) he hardly tell us anything, we do ask his opinion on issues and he will tell us his thoughts, from there we can gauge if he has any other issue. 

How parents behave is linked to suicide risk: Research

Published 06 DECEMBER, 2017 UPDATED 08 DECEMBER, 2017

 

UNITED STATES — Adolescents who feel their parents rarely express interest in their emotional well-being are far more likely to consider suicide than youths who see their parents as involved, US researchers said Tuesday (Dec 5).

 

The findings by the University of Cincinnati come as the suicide rate among teenagers rises in the United States, adding to concern among parents, educators and health experts.

 

In the past month alone, a 10-year-old girl in Colorado and a 13-year-old in California hanged themselves. Their parents say bullying at school contributed to the girls' deaths.

 

"Parents ask us all the time, 'What can we do?'" said Dr Keith King, who coordinates the University of Cincinnati's health promotion and education doctoral program.

 

"Kids need to know that someone's got their back, and unfortunately, many of them do not. That's a major problem."

 

Dr King and his colleague, Dr Rebecca Vidourek, based their findings on a 2012 national survey of people 12 and older that revealed a significant link between parental behaviors and thoughts of suicide among adolescents.

 

They found that those most affected by parenting behaviors were 12- and 13-year-olds.

 

Children in this age group who said their parents rarely or never told them they were proud of them were nearly five times more likely to have suicidal thoughts, said the researchers.

 

They were also nearly seven times more likely to formulate a suicide plan and about seven times more likely to attempt suicide than their peers.

 

An unusually high risk of suicide was also seen in 12- and 13-year-olds whose parents rarely or never told them they did a good job or helped them with their homework.

 

Among older teens, aged 16 and 17, those who said their parents rarely or never said they were proud of them were three times more likely to have suicidal thoughts — almost four times more likely to make a suicide plan and attempt suicide — than peers whose parents sometimes or often expressed pride in their children.

 

‘POSITIVELY CONNECTED’

 

Researchers acknowledged that the survey was based on youths' perceptions of their parents behavior, and that some parents may disagree with how their children responded.

 

"Youth perceptions are extremely important to suicidal ideation and attempts," Dr King told AFP in an email.

 

"Sometimes parents think they are involved, but from the perspective of the adolescent, they are not."

 

Some ways for parents to protect against suicide include "direct communication and direct interactions that are authoritative in nature between the parent(s) and the adolescent," he added.

 

Teens may also be more likely to try drugs or risky sexual behavior if parents are not adequately engaged, Dr King said.

 

"A key is to ensure that children feel positively connected to their parents and family," said Dr Vidourek, who serves as co-director of the Center for Prevention Science, along with Dr King.

 

The study did not delve into completion of suicide by teenagers, but whether they harbored suicidal thoughts, made plans or had attempted to take their own lives.

 

A report by the US Centers for Disease Control and Prevention earlier this year found that the suicide rate among teen girls doubled from 2007 to 2015, and rose 30 per cent among boys.

 

About 5,900 youths between the ages of 10 and 24 committed suicide in the United States in 2015, according to government figures.

 

Experts say a range of factors contribute to suicide risk, including depression and mental health, negative influences on social media, bullying, financial struggles and exposure to violence.

 

Dr King said certain basic parental behaviors may help.

 

"You can tell them you're proud of them, that they did a good job, get involved with them and help them with their homework," said King.

 

The research was presented at this year's American Public Health Association conference in Atlanta. AFP

 

 

 

[kdash]

 

my girl face different kind of stress and peer pressure is  sec, poly and now intern at work, some kind of bullied but not serious.

 

when we see her feeling down since sec sch, we will insist that she voice out. Now she is more open to tell us her problem, and the talking and discussion help her to see things in other perspectives and cope with behavior (bullied) from other. Currently we also discuss about her problem at work (dealing colleagues and superior) to prepare her for the real working life later on.

 

my boy being a boy (as in male ego) he hardly tell us anything, we do ask his opinion on issues and he will tell us his thoughts, from there we can gauge if he has any other issue. 

 

 

 

as parents we can only try to encourage a safe environment at home for our kids to be willing to share their problems with us... i hope to do this for my kids... 

[chryst]

 

my girl face different kind of stress and peer pressure is  sec, poly and now intern at work, some kind of bullied but not serious.

 

when we see her feeling down since sec sch, we will insist that she voice out. Now she is more open to tell us her problem, and the talking and discussion help her to see things in other perspectives and cope with behavior (bullied) from other. Currently we also discuss about her problem at work (dealing colleagues and superior) to prepare her for the real working life later on.

 

my boy being a boy (as in male ego) he hardly tell us anything, we do ask his opinion on issues and he will tell us his thoughts, from there we can gauge if he has any other issue. 

 

 

 

if only my parents were like you. you are a great father and your children are so lucky.

[Baleno]

 

Reasons IMO are Low Self Esteem & Loss of Hope.

[Kurumanbo]

 

my girl face different kind of stress and peer pressure is  sec, poly and now intern at work, some kind of bullied but not serious.

 

when we see her feeling down since sec sch, we will insist that she voice out. Now she is more open to tell us her problem, and the talking and discussion help her to see things in other perspectives and cope with behavior (bullied) from other. Currently we also discuss about her problem at work (dealing colleagues and superior) to prepare her for the real working life later on.

 

my boy being a boy (as in male ego) he hardly tell us anything, we do ask his opinion on issues and he will tell us his thoughts, from there we can gauge if he has any other issue. 

 

 

You are a great example man. A lot of times, the fact that people don't want to listen or assume their own opinions and views on other causes a lot of pains to the people around them and devastate them.

 

For those who wonder why people commit suicide, mayb they can try to think about what made them come to that conclusion and whether the society tried to do anything to salvage them. And please, by telling someone who already has that thought that 'suicide is wrong' doesn't help:)

[Ender]

Personally I feel connecting to my teenage boy abit difficult. Since Primary school, I was quite a authoritative figure, making sure he do homework, work on exams paper on other school.  Am strict on his behaviour. Overall I feel he turn out to be a good boy, respect for others, listen to parents.

 

But the downside here now he is into sec 3, and he doesn't open up to me. Since sec 1, I have given him more freedom. I don't supervise his schoolwork anymore and as I can recall, I have not scolded him all thru sec school.  I am trying hard to connect him as a friend. I know he has school stress, I asked him, he always says is nothing.  But there are issues that we know. He is in touch with SOS once and we got him to see our  catholic counsellor.  That helps, at least there are outlet. 

 

It's a good article, but the advices like staying connected is not easy. 

Edited December 8, 2017 by Ender

[Lala81]

Personally I feel connecting to my teenage boy abit difficult. Since Primary school, I was quite a authoritative figure, making sure he do homework, work on exams paper on other school.  Am strict on his behaviour. Overall I feel he turn out to be a good boy, respect for others, listen to parents.

 

But the downside here now he is into sec 3, and he doesn't open up to me. Since sec 1, I have given him more freedom. I don't supervise his schoolwork anymore and as I can recall, I have not scolded him all thru sec school.  I am trying hard to connect him as a friend. I know he has school stress, I asked him, he always says is nothing.  But there are issues that we know. He is in touch with SOS once and we got him to see our  catholic counsellor.  That helps, at least there are outlet. 

 

It's a good article, but the advices like staying connected is not easy. 

 

i don't share anything with my parents since young also. only when i was much older.

 

I think for such characters, probably need to just emphasise that u are there lor. 

My girl even worse. even in preschool, she don't like to say what happens in school right from the start. always ignore us when we ask about school, what lesson u do today, what class u like etc

Edited December 8, 2017 by Lala81

[kdash]

Personally I feel connecting to my teenage boy abit difficult. Since Primary school, I was quite a authoritative figure, making sure he do homework, work on exams paper on other school.  Am strict on his behaviour. Overall I feel he turn out to be a good boy, respect for others, listen to parents.

 

But the downside here now he is into sec 3, and he doesn't open up to me. Since sec 1, I have given him more freedom. I don't supervise his schoolwork anymore and as I can recall, I have not scolded him all thru sec school.  I am trying hard to connect him as a friend. I know he has school stress, I asked him, he always says is nothing.  But there are issues that we know. He is in touch with SOS once and we got him to see our  catholic counsellor.  That helps, at least there are outlet. 

 

It's a good article, but the advices like staying connected is not easy. 

 

i can identify with this as my dad was like you, authoritarian figure haha... sad to say i have never felt willing to talk to my dad about my personal experiences until only recently... nothing wrong with being authoritarian when kids are young as they would be able to turn out as good boy, respect for others, listen to parents as you mentioned. but the kid will not be willing to share with you, for fear of being scolded etc... 

 

i used to tell myself never to be like how my dad was, but now that i'm a dad myself... i start to understand my dad's rationale haha... 

 

its definitely not easy to stay connected to our kids. hopefully as we continue in our parenting journey, our kids will be willing to connect with us eventually... 

i don't share anything with my parents since young also. only when i was much older.

 

I think for such characters, probably need to just emphasise that u are there lor. 

My girl even worse. even in preschool, she don't like to say what happens in school right from the start. always ignore us when we ask about school, what lesson u do today, what class u like etc

 

for pre-school, may be your girl's personality... hopefully will get better in terms of communication in time to come... 

 

my girl is the opposite, she tells us everything, non-stop haha... 

[Lala81]

i can identify with this as my dad was like you, authoritarian figure haha... sad to say i have never felt willing to talk to my dad about my personal experiences until only recently... nothing wrong with being authoritarian when kids are young as they would be able to turn out as good boy, respect for others, listen to parents as you mentioned. but the kid will not be willing to share with you, for fear of being scolded etc... 

 

i used to tell myself never to be like how my dad was, but now that i'm a dad myself... i start to understand my dad's rationale haha... 

 

its definitely not easy to stay connected to our kids. hopefully as we continue in our parenting journey, our kids will be willing to connect with us eventually... 

 

u be surprised. i think there are pros and cons with being a new age father.

 

i think one of the books i read said the research shows that american teens actually partake in less risky behaviours (like drug taking, binge drinking) when their fathers are the patriarchal type. 

[Ender]

i can identify with this as my dad was like you, authoritarian figure haha... sad to say i have never felt willing to talk to my dad about my personal experiences until only recently... nothing wrong with being authoritarian when kids are young as they would be able to turn out as good boy, respect for others, listen to parents as you mentioned. but the kid will not be willing to share with you, for fear of being scolded etc...

 

i used to tell myself never to be like how my dad was, but now that i'm a dad myself... i start to understand my dad's rationale haha...

 

its definitely not easy to stay connected to our kids. hopefully as we continue in our parenting journey, our kids will be willing to connect with us eventually...

 

 

for pre-school, may be your girl's personality... hopefully will get better in terms of communication in time to come...

 

my girl is the opposite, she tells us everything, non-stop haha...

This connection with him I have always wish for. Sometimes I wonder if I was more buddy with when young, would things be different.

 

This Cat Steven song is what I think off everyday. Both the father part and son part of the lyrics touches me.

http://www.mycarforum.com/topic/2698834-nice-english-songsvideo-to-share/page-125?do=findComment&comment=6253969

[chryst]

Personally I feel connecting to my teenage boy abit difficult. Since Primary school, I was quite a authoritative figure, making sure he do homework, work on exams paper on other school.  Am strict on his behaviour. Overall I feel he turn out to be a good boy, respect for others, listen to parents.

 

But the downside here now he is into sec 3, and he doesn't open up to me. Since sec 1, I have given him more freedom. I don't supervise his schoolwork anymore and as I can recall, I have not scolded him all thru sec school.  I am trying hard to connect him as a friend. I know he has school stress, I asked him, he always says is nothing.  But there are issues that we know. He is in touch with SOS once and we got him to see our  catholic counsellor.  That helps, at least there are outlet. 

 

It's a good article, but the advices like staying connected is not easy. 

 

As a kid who grew up (and still am) living in an authoritarian household, i feel that it could be too late for some parents who try to "be friends" with their kids only when they grow up. while parents always have their kids' best interests at heart, most of them have forgotten how mindsets work at that particular age.

 

sure its good and all to make sure that your child does his homework, is respectful and grows up to be a fine young adult but constantly nitpicking at his/her behaviour will just make the child less willing to open up. i underwent more than a few suicidal depression counselling sharing sessions in my teens and i vividly remember that most of the participants in my group had the same problems - no where to go because everything they do was "wrong". parents like to ask "what's wrong, why don't you tell me?" but sometimes, the kid just needs a listening ear and not to be strong armed into solutions. brings to mind this saying:

 

说了又不听

听了又不懂

不懂又不问

问了又不做

做了又做错

错了又不认

认了又不改

改了又不服

不服又不说

 

the unsuccessful suicide cases i know personally: family pressure, relationship (she's transgender), failed marriage and money.

friends who actually passed on due to: family pressure, society pressure.

 

the most recent one only happened 4 months ago. he couldn't live up to his parent's expectations. they had a plan for him to be married at 26, have his own house by 28, and have 2 kids by 32. he had barely crossed the 6 months mark for moving into his new house before he took his life for the constant nagging about "why no grandkids. why you never start trying when you know house coming".

 

he was 28.

[Lala81]

This connection with him I have always wish for. Sometimes I wonder if I was more buddy with when young, would things be different.

 

This Cat Steven song is what I think off everyday. Both the father part and son part of the lyrics touches me.

http://www.mycarforum.com/topic/2698834-nice-english-songsvideo-to-share/page-125?do=findComment&comment=6253969

 

One thing i always say is that it's not possible to change the way u parent from your own personality/behaviour.

You can't be an engaging friendly parent, if your own personality isn't geared that way. At least u won't be able to do it in a sustained consistent way.

 

Would like to be a more consistently patient father, but my mood swings are still quite bad especially when I'm tired.

[Ash2017]

Personally, I have the following observations:

 

1. as technology advances in leaps and bounds, more is added to the syallabus, that is more is taught at a very young age

2. little time for children to be children

3. school (including universities) does not teach real world interaction or dealing

4. if child follow everything that school taught about how to behave and what is considered to be a good school (character), the poor kid will have a hard time adjusting in this shark eat shark world

5. many dont have the luxury of aim for quality of life but survival day to day and hope for a better future

6. cannot cope with stress (dont know how to deal with), dont know how to deal with failure (school teach to be No 1 Failure is not an option), dont know how to interact socially (whatsapp, wechat, facebook, facetime and etc)

7. etc

 

 

all these add up, how not to expect suicide rate not to climb.

 

Hence, if you have kids, listen more than bark commands. Your kids will grow up better.

 

Take care.