Post delete from ECommerce businesses:A guide on which customers to blacklist

[immortan_joe]

Obviously any profit-oriented enterprise seeks to maximize its bottom line; for those whose bread and butter occur in the immediate online marketplace, the revenue size achieved is directly correlated to both volume and weight of transactions performed, factors which in turn are contingent on purchasing traffic. The more customers the merrier then, you say? Largely so, minus a very small group of folks you are better off avoiding at all costs. These shoppers from hell will cause you an indescribable amount of  mental anguish, stress and frustration courtesy of themselves kicking up a shitstorm over nothing, or throwing a hissy fit just because its.......Monday. Cue: crazy, ridiculous requests, threats to rain fire on your certified "unaccommodating" (by them of course) ass. Why end up being severely constipated in the mood department as a consequence of having to endure such unnecessary bollocks?

 

So yes indeed, prevention is way better than cure, its better to be safe than sorry...........yada yada yada. Here is a laundry list compiled to assist you, the merchant, in learning how  to sniff out them minions of Satan and banish them to the deepest reaches of your blacklist. Pay real good attention, because it could contribute significantly towards averting a potentially nasty disaster; who knows it might even save your life.

 

Spotting a possibly abusive or problematic online customer:

 

1. He/she can't be bothered to properly process aka read the information put out for his/her benefit, which means disclaimers and whatnot supplied are simply ignored through and through. When shit hits the fan, he/she will return in a flash and scorch the very ground you exist on. That means unwarranted complaints, barking in your face till you issue a full refund or offer a replacement.

 

2.  He/she is a member of club anal-retentive. Makes inquiries about every single damn thing, perhaps even ask why the sky is blue. Get ready to be skewered big time if he/she uncovers the slightest, tiniest  disparity in product quality.

 

 

[Mustank]

[immortan_joe]

 

Huh what talking you????

 

[Fcw75]

Huh what talking you????

 

No words needed.