Search the Community

Blame it on puberty, hormones and growing pains, but as a teenager, I had a negative mindset. I had no concept of being realistic either. With a steady diet of grunge music, the cloud of teenage angst that enveloped me made it easy to fall into the negativity trap. It didn’t help that I was failing math half the time in secondary school. Physics and chemistry were a downer as well. Passing was only possible with the help of plenty of tuition. Meanwhile, I also had to deal with the usual life question: What did I want to do after graduating university? Beyond that was also the question that every teen grapples with: Identity. Who are you and how will you fulfil your potential? (Image: Gadiel Lazcano, Unsplash) The negativity trap I probably had a negative mindset for at least five years. Before I sat for math exams, I had to keep my anxiety in check while revising. Awaiting results was arguably even harder. So, I began to expect less, thinking that since the highest score I could hope for was passing, there was no point in aiming higher. When your outlook is coloured by negativity, life seems dull. My mum cajoled me to become an optimist, but adult advice seldom reaches the teenage mind. Inevitably, her cajoling became statements about me being a downer with my 'surly attitude'. At least I wasn’t getting a lecture about grunge music anymore, though. You could say I wallowed in negativity during this period. (Image: Zac Durant, Unsplash) With perspective comes clarity As I grew older and more self-aware, I realised that I was annoyed with my attitude. I was letting challenges get the better of me instead of the other way around. Being weak in math isn’t the end of the world. I began to view this and other challenges as something I could beat. Of course, at the back of my mind, that irritating voice telling me to 'stop trying to hard' would sometimes attempt to sway my thinking. Self-pity is easy. Rising to challenges is harder. But I wanted to be better. Not for anyone else, but for myself. I started to view things realistically, and doing that pulled me out of teenage angst. Realistically, no matter how much I detest exams, they will still take place. In the bigger picture: No matter what, the world will still turn. The sun will still rise and set. It's what I choose to do and how I choose to tackle things that really matters. Coinciding with this is that my mind finally matured enough to take in all those math lessons. I shockingly started to enjoy it. In uni, I used a graphing calculator with ease. Suddenly, everything started to make sense. For two weeks, I even considered majoring in math. (Image: Steven Lelham, Unsplash) I didn't suddenly become academically inclined. But I had a clearer perspective and greater self-awareness. Pessimists will insist that you can't control your future because someone else is pulling the levers. Well, my view is that no matter where you live, someone else will still be pulling the levers. You could be a boss at work, but maybe not at home. And even if you had it all, well, you can't control the weather or when the sun rises or sets. You can't control time either. But you're in charge of your attitude. Teenage angst and negativity are in the past, so I seldom listen to grunge music. But when I do, it's like listening to oldies: It's the ideal soundtrack when reminiscing about how life was before we grew up. – Jeremy (Main image: Kyle Loftus, Unsplash)