Have you ever watched on of those baby crawling races? They are hilarious. I watch a lot of NBA, and sometimes they have these races as a halftime entertainment. And its hilarious because unlike most athletic races, there's an inherent unpredictability and chaos to these things. They get distracted, they get bored, they get tired. Babies doing baby things, you know. 

Well, England thinks it can one-up the absurdity of racing: Introducing to you, Snail Racing. 

It seems almost insane to say, but Snail Racing has been a thing in one very particular village in Norfolk since the 1960s, meaning that it has been going on for over 60 years. The annual Snail Racing World Championships see snails basically racing on a table cloth. 

The little eccentricities are also delightful:

• Only local common garden snails are allowed. "Giant foreign snails are not allowed", it says on the website. Support local! 
• Racing numbers are painted / stickers are pasted on the shells. 
• The race is started with the command 'Ready, Steady, SLOW!'
• Snails are often named, and some of the names are brilliant: Uslime Bolt is a 10/10. 

Look at this delightfully ridiculous shennanigans: 

Time to find a snail and paint a go-faster stripe on it.