Byteslurve Supersonic November 19, 2014 Author Share November 19, 2014 The first of September, first lesson. Teacher:- Please sit quietly, if you want to ask something - raise your hand.Peter immediately raises his hand.- You want to ask something?- No. Just checking how the system works. ↡ Advertisement 5 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Byteslurve Supersonic November 19, 2014 Author Share November 19, 2014 Music teacher tells Peter:- I warn you, if you will not behave, as appropriate, I tell your parents that you have a talent for music. 6 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Byteslurve Supersonic November 19, 2014 Author Share November 19, 2014 Little Johnny returns from school and says:- Mam, in school we write dirty swear-words so often!- But I hope you are not writing them, my son.- No, I'm dictating them! 5 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Byteslurve Supersonic November 19, 2014 Author Share November 19, 2014 During a lesson little Johnny yawns extremely wide.Teacher tries to make a joke:- Johnny, don't swallow me.He replies:- Don't worry, teacher, I don't eat pork. 5 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Byteslurve Supersonic November 19, 2014 Author Share November 19, 2014 Teacher: If a lion is chasing you, what would you do?Student: I'd climb a tree.Teacher: if the lion climbs a tree?Student: I will jump in the lake and swim.Teacher: if the lion also jumps in the water and swims after you?Student: Teacher, are you on my side or on the lion's? 5 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Byteslurve Supersonic November 19, 2014 Author Share November 19, 2014 In school. Teacher:- Johnny, why are you late again?- But you have said that it's never too late to learn.. 5 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Byteslurve Supersonic November 19, 2014 Author Share November 19, 2014 - Have you heard that teachers went on hunger strike. - And what are they requesting for? - For food. 5 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Byteslurve Supersonic November 19, 2014 Author Share November 19, 2014 Student tells the doctor:- Doctor, please help, I'm poisoning!- How did it happen?- We drank vodka at first, then wine, some beer, then I got poisoning from Biscuit... 5 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Byteslurve Supersonic November 19, 2014 Author Share November 19, 2014 -Yo mama is so fat, it says to be continued, when she gets on a weighing-machine.-Yo mama so heavy that when she went in the elevator as soon as one foot goes in falls strait to the bottom-Yo mama is so fat that her navel returns home 10 minutes before she does.-Yo mama is so fat that it's still printing her picture she took during her last Christmas.-Yo mama is so fat that when she walked in front of the TV, I missed 2 series of Friends.-Yo mama is so fat that her navel has an echo.-Yo mama is so fat that she has to buy three airline tickets for her flight.-Yo mama is so ugly that the government changed Halloween day to her birthday.-Yo mama's so fat that even Barack Obama couldn't afford to take her out to dinner.-Yo mama is so stupid, she was looking for Bluetooth at the orthodontist.-Yo mama is so fat, she doesn’t fit in this joke.-Yo mama is stupid, she put a book in her friend face and named Facebook.-Yo Mama is so nasty, she made the Dead Sea, when went to swim.-Yo mama is so old, her social security number is 1.-Yo mama is so ugly, she couldn't join an ugly contest, because was treated as a professional.-Yo mama is so stupid, she was looking at the apple juice for few days cause it says "concentrate".-Yo mama is so stupid, I said it was going to be chili out and she grabbed a bowl and a spoon. 5 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Byteslurve Supersonic November 19, 2014 Author Share November 19, 2014 An evening of Valentine’s Day. A man comes to a drug store:- Good evening!- Sorry, we are sold out... 3 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Byteslurve Supersonic November 19, 2014 Author Share November 19, 2014 - Lisa, why are you so angry with me?- Because I’m Christine. 5 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Byteslurve Supersonic November 19, 2014 Author Share November 19, 2014 A little boy asked his father, 'Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?' And the father replied, 'I don't know, son, I'm still paying for it.' 5 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Byteslurve Supersonic November 19, 2014 Author Share November 19, 2014 A couple was having a discussion about family finances. Finally the husband exploded, 'If it weren't for my money, the house wouldn't be here!' The wife replied, 'My dear, if it weren't for your money, I wouldn't be here.' Happy February 14th! 5 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Byteslurve Supersonic November 19, 2014 Author Share November 19, 2014 - Does she have a boyfriend?- Yes, a cute, strong and clever one.- What’s the name?- John, Michael and Bill. 5 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Byteslurve Supersonic November 19, 2014 Author Share November 19, 2014 Two friends talk:- Hi, what are you doing?- Not much, writing a Valentine’s Day greeting card.- Why are you writing it with your left hand? Are you left-handed?- No, I just can’t let my right hand to see it. It’s a surprise for it. 6 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Byteslurve Supersonic November 19, 2014 Author Share November 19, 2014 A boyfriend asks his girlfriend:- What gift would you like to receive during the St. Valentine’s Day?- Well, I don’t know, – she answers shyly.- OK, that I give you another year to think about it… 5 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Byteslurve Supersonic November 19, 2014 Author Share November 19, 2014 A wife tells her husband while watching a Mexican TV series:- Look, how much he loves her…- Yes. But do you know how much he’s being paid for that? 4 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Byteslurve Supersonic November 19, 2014 Author Share November 19, 2014 - That’s it! I’ll marry Arthur!Mother:- But he is a lazy guy and heavy-drinker! ! !Father:- But you have to start with something! ↡ Advertisement 5 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
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