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I'm not too sure whether I have over reacted in any way but I'm just going to share my stories and seek opinions on the situation. I'm currently living with my mother-in-law with my wife and my 12 years old daugther. My daugther was primarily brought up by my mother-in-law since birth as both me and my wife were pursing our careers. As our job required us to work on weekend occasionally, it was up to my mother-in-law to take care of our child. However, whenever we are not working on weekend, we would spend the precious time with our daugther, bring her out, watch a movie, and stuff that every parents would do with their kids. I was away for an overseas assignment when my daugther was 7 and therefore the task of finding a primary school for her fell to my wife and her mother. Since I'm not in town, the contact person for the school were my wife and my mother-in-law. Since my mother-in-law fetched my daugther to and from school, she became the first contact person if anything happened to my daughther. As my wife was too busy with her work, she left it to her mother to discipline our daugther as well as attending to the school complains. Even though me and my wife attended the meet-the-parents session, the school would still call my MIL to inform her about our daugther rather than my wife. I came back to Singapore when she was in primary 3. I soon realised how much my daugther listened to my mother-in-law rather than my wife and me. My mother-in-law is a control freak. She disciplined my daugther and tried to have complete control on her, even when we were around. Whenever the school feedback to my MIL on our daugther, she would not tell me or my wife straight away, instead she would dealt the punishment to my daugther directly with caning, slapping and throwing her books away. We only knew about the whole incident when we came back from work and she was already punished. Since she was already punished for her mistakes, we did not punish her again but rather talked to her and made her understand why she was punished. My daugther had therefore over the years began to obey to my mother-in-law more than us. There were many times where my daugther was slightly misbehaved which both me and wife felt that it was alright but she was punished by my MIL. For example, my MIL summoned for her and she took slightly longer to respond to her, my MIL would slap her, in front of us which we felt was totally unneccessary. I quarrelled with my MIL and because of this we did not talk for months. This would made the situtation worse as whatever feedbacks or recommendations from school or tutor with regards to my daugther, she would not tell me or my wife. On another occassion, my daughther was totally exhausted from doing her homework and asked me whether she could take a short afternoon nap, I told her ok and allowed her to rest. Less than 5 mins, my MIL walked into the room (with me inside the room), seeing my daugther sleeping, begun to wake her up and told her to continue to do her homework. I told my MIL that she asked me for permission already but my daugther was too terrified to sleep back and quickly wake up and continue to do her homework even though I told her to go back to sleep. Just like last week, after we came back from work, I obeserved that she was very unhappy about something but did not tell us. When she did not join us to watch TV, I went in and asked her why she stayed in the room and she replied me that grandma(which is my MIL) told her not to watch TV but rather do her homework. I asked her why were there homework since tuition is only once a week and the next tutition is another 4 days time, she told me that grandma had arranged tutition for her everyday. I was shocked as I was not informed of this. Our MIL did not even discussed with us even though we paid for the tuition fee. Since the arrangement was already made, I told my daugther to start doing her homework and perhaps catch a breather at around 9pm for her fave show on TV. She told me that she dun wan to watch as she could watch the repeat telecast the next day. I told her is ok to catch a breather and not to force herself so much since this was the June holidays but she was adamant and started throwing temper and chased me out of the room. Before I leave the room, I told her that since she dun want to watch the tv at 9pm, then she would continue to do her homework till she finished all that is needed to be done before she can leave her room. At 9pm, my MIL went in to the room and told her to come out and watch TV and she promptly came out despite my warning to her earlier on. I did not want to create a scene in front of my MIL so I kept quiet about it but deep down I was furious. She rather listen to her grandma rather than us. We do not have any say in her activities. From once a week tutition session to daily tuition without our knowledge, from agreeing to let her go out to watch a movie with her friends in the neigbourhood shopping mall by me and my wife to her being grounded by her grandma because she felt that her groups of friend were bad influences. My MIL always over-ride our decisions to her, our promises to her. In the end, instead of asking us whether she could go out with her friends, she would simply sought my MIL permission instead. In the end, we didn't even know that she went out with her friends until we reached home and realised that she was not at home. I talked to my wife about this and she says that what her mother did was for the good of our daugther, her granddaugther. She felt that since we are working most of the time in the day, it would be better for her mother to discipline our child. If we always side our daugther and over-ride my MIL decision, then our daugther would not listen to my MIL and it will be difficult for her to discipline her during the day. I just want to hear any view on this. Did I over-reacted or was my wife right in letting my MIL to discipline our daugther? How to strike a balance between the parents and the grandmother?

60 parents turn up for second parental matchmaking session By Ng Wei Keng, Channel NewsAsia | Posted: 14 December 2008 2140 hrs SINGAPORE: Picking up from an idea suggested by Prime Minister Lee Hsien Loong earlier this year, 60 parents turned up for a parental matchmaking session on Sunday to find partners for their children aged between 25 and 45 years old. This follows the success of the first such session in September where 80 parents turned up. Many of today's participants declined to be identified as they had signed up without their children's knowledge. Organisers also conducted a talk on how to broach the idea of parental matchmaking with their children as some singles may mistake it as a form of arranged marriage. But organisers said it's just a way for singles to expand their social networks. Lydia Gan, parental matchmaking session organizer, said:

Money can't replace parental guidance By Geoff Tan - http://news.asiaone.com/News/AsiaOne%2BNew...0908-86409.html IN 1965, Time magazine ran a cover story featuring teenagers from one of the wealthiest institutions in America - the prestigious Palisades High School in Los Angeles, California. The parents of these kids comprise the nations' rich and famous. This young fraternity was lauded as having great potential. They stood at the fringe of a "golden era", where their stature and position augured well for their future. They were looked upon to fuel the next generation of America's leaders - the so-called blue-eyed kids on the block. In 1976, two members of that class, David Wallechinsky (who incidentally is the son of well-known author and screenwriter Irving Wallace) and Michael Medved, co-wrote a book entitled What Really Happened To The Class Of '65? This book, which eventually became a bestseller, featured interviews with several members of the class and their teachers, whose experiences were recounted both individually and in groups around a host of shared themes. What Wallechinsky and Medved found was contrary to what was predicted of their cohort some 11 years back. Many of their former classmates went their separate ways after high school and got involved in lesser-than-expected behaviour - drug abuse, rebellion, sexual irresponsibility, divorce and even prison time. Many of them were plagued by personal tragedy and emotional trauma. These kids, who were born with a silver spoon in their mouths, were to a great extent unprepared for the complex game of life. Some psychologists diagnosed this to be a case of misguided parental indulgence. These mums and dads, who were among America's richest and most influential, did not know better than to spoil their children rotten. What they lacked in time spent with their kids - to nurture and teach them good values - they made up for with money lavished upon their juniors. Money to fuel expensive lifestyles. Money for their children to buy and enjoy all that they desire. Money to bail them out of jail. Money to repair their wrecked exotic cars, or to buy new ones. Money so that their children can avoid work or further study. Money that made them eventual failures in life. In a nutshell: rich parents, "poor" children. You may ask what all this has to do with us in Singapore, 32 years after the book was published. You must have read recently that Singapore has climbed the ranks of the millionaire club. According to the 12th annual WorldWealth Report by United States investment bank Merrill Lynch and information-technology group Capgemini, Singapore has 77,000 millionaires. And the figure is growing. In addition, there are now more Singaporeans holding higher appointments and positions within companies and in society as a whole. With the hectic pace of life we lead, time is a scarce resource in many a person's day. Bringing up children amid this urban landscape requires time and effort - the two commodities which many of us would rather channel towards building our careers, instead of using them to cultivate strong family bonds. So, is there a lesson to be learnt from the book, What Really Happened To The Class Of '65? I certainly think so. There is a common saying that "history repeats itself". In this instance, my hope and wish is that, for our sake, it does not. Let's get real - money does not buy everything.