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During my holiday in Hong Kong, I dropped off a roll of film to be processed. Upon asking for the images to be printed out and mailed to Singapore, I was told that it would take up to two months, since the photos would be sent via post. I did not look for one-hour developing services in Hong Kong. After all, this roll of Kodak Portra 400 took me at least two months to finish, so what's the hurry? Besides, between work and weekend errands, the time to shoot is limited. Hence, I decided to finish the roll while I was overseas. I was mentally prepared to only receive the images in late April/early May. To my surprise, they arrived a month early. As I held the weighty brown envelope in my hands, I felt a stack of photos in the middle. (Image: Chase Yi, Unsplash) My pulse quickened. Part of me assumed that I had made a mistake loading the film and that nothing was captured because of it. Or that most of the photos were so blurry, overexposed or underexposed that very few pictures were printable. The thick stack said otherwise. I was excited, but also cautiously optimistic. Once the missus and I opened the envelope, we each took a small pile to look through. All the images were in focus, but many of them had underexposed areas. (Image: Ddddddarya, Unsplash) Lessons to remember As it turns out, my Pentax Spotmatic F gives better exposure when the needle of the light meter is past the halfway mark. If it's just in the centre, the image will be slightly underexposed. After reviewing the photos again, I reflected on what I could have done better. I should be stricter about the lighting conditions and not be afraid to use a slower shutter speed. Some backgrounds could be better, so I should watch my compositions more as well. Following this, I thought, "Damn, film is brutal, isn't it?" Well, poor technique will be magnified, that's for sure. I don't get to preview an image, delete it and try again. Pushing or pulling film has its limits as well, and I'm reliant on the shop to process not as I see fit, but as they see fit. (Image: Immo Wegmann, Unsplash) A smile began to spread across my face. I couldn't blame the film, the camera or my lens. It was all down to me. And that made me feel good. Before every frame, I would picture the composition and see where the light was falling. Then I'd adjust the aperture and shutter speed. In all that time, it never mattered what camera I had or what lens was on it. As for the film stock, that was decided 36 frames ago. It felt so liberating to only think about the picture I wanted. Film isn't brutal. It's not a sentient being that judges you. Film is impartial. It exists as a medium and its only job is to show you what you've accomplished and tell your story. It's not out to stroke your ego or shatter your pride. And for that reason, if I don't control myself, I'll be needing to purchase more photo albums in the future. So, for the next roll of film, I'll keep the negatives and settle for having the photos scanned and kept in Google Drive instead. – Jeremy (Main image: Chase Yi, Unsplash)