Search the Community

A couple failed to consummate their marriage and had to learn how to have sex from a doctor. The 38-year-old couple, both civil servants, were married at 26 years old. They could not have children for the past 12 years and approached a doctor for help. After being interviewed by the doctor, it was found that the couple did not have children because they have not consummated their marriage. The doctor found that whenever the couple tried to have sex, the woman would cramp up because she was too nervous. As her husband did not want to cause her pain, he eventually gave up trying to consummate the marriage. According to Dr Kumar, a senior consultant at the Gleneagles Hospital Gynaecology department, more than 90% of sex-related problems in women are a result of psychological issues. This includes the cramps that the woman was experiencing. He said, "Painful sex as a result of the vagina cramping up is mainly due to psychological barriers in the woman. This could be due to a lack of sexual knowledge or due to the woman's views toward sex. She could be very reserved or think that sex is a dirty act. In the case of the 38-year-old couple, the woman had believed that she has a very small and narrow vagina. She was also very afraid of pain. This resulted in her cramping up and her fears coming true. Despite counselling and learning relaxing techniques, the couple still failed to achieve intercourse. Finally, Dr Kumar put the woman on the operating table and sedated her to relax her muscles. The gynaecologist then showed her that her vagina is not as small as she thought it was. The couple eventually managed to consummate their marriage and the woman became pregnant four months later. According to doctors, 50% of Singaporean women experience some form of sexual dysfunction but most of them do not seek help. Most of these women develop problems between the ages of 25 and 35. Women between 45 and 65 also experience these problems due to menopause. Source: Lianhe Wanbao, 9 October 2011. Click here for the Chinese report.