Just for laugh

[Cthulhu]

and right after that... PIANG!!!

 

 

more jokes coming tomorrow k... so sit tight!

Edited February 27, 2008 by Cthulhu

[Stdfrank]

[Blue2]

[Blue2]

both are equally clever

[Cthulhu]

good morning! ok! you guys will luv this one... s'pore beng presents...

 

HENG AH!!!

 

One day, Ah Beng & Ah Seng were walking down the Chinatown when they saw something in their path.

"Wait!" cried Ah Beng. "Wat is tat huh?"

"Yah ho! Be carefool lo," warned Ah Seng.

"Wat is it?" They approached the thing and looked at it very closely.

"Eee look like sxxt lah!" say Ah Beng.

"Hmmm..... smell like sxxt also!" say Ah Seng after taking a deep breathe.

Ah Beng then poked the thing with his one finger, raised the finger to his lips, tasted it and said,

"Tastes like sxxt!"

Ah Seng pushed his finger right through the thing and stick out his tongue to lick. With confidence, he said,

"Confirm is sxxt!"

Then they smiled at each other,

"WAH! Heng ah!!! We didn't step on it."

 

[Blue2]

[Simplyme]

3 nuns and their confessions...

 

There were 3 nuns and a priest living in a church..

 

One day the priest left to settle some matters..

He came back a week later and sensing the nuns were up to no good, asked each of them to meet him individually for confession..

 

The 1st nun entered the room and confessed: "Father, i have seen a man's privates.."

The priest replied: "Go and wash your eyes in the holy water and you are forgiven."

 

The 2nd nun followed suit and told the priest: "Father, i have touched a man's privates."

"Go wash your hands in the holy water and you shall be forgiven too."

 

The 3rd priest went into the priest's room, confessed, and approached the holy water..

 

"Step aside sisters, i need to gargle!"

[Simplyme]

Ah Beng with two red ears went to his doctor.

 

The doctor asked him what had happened to his ears and he answered," I was ironing a shirt and the phone ring lor - but instead of picking up the phone, I accidentally picked up the iron and stuck it to my ear. So Kena lor!"

 

"Oh Dear!" the doctor exclaimed in disbelief.

 

"But.. what happened to the other ear?"

 

"That stoopid dumbo called back!"

[Simplyme]

Totally Defenceless

 

Two Hokkien pengs, Ah Beng and Ah Seng, got promoted from privates to corporals.

 

Not long after, they're out for a walk and Ah Beng says, "Eh, Seng ah, there's the NCO Club. Let's go inside and togo."

 

"But we all is plivate only, mah," protests Ah Seng.

 

"No, we all is copler now," says Ah Beng, pulling him inside.

 

Once inside the pub, Ah Beng says, "Okay, let's order some beer and togo!"

 

"But we all is plivate!" says Ah Seng.

 

"Piang eh, you cannot see, meh?" says Ah Beng, pointing to his stripes. "We all is copler now!"

 

After leaving the NCO club, Ah Beng and Ah Seng go to Geylang.

 

There, Ah Beng whistles at a hooker, but the hooker says, "Sorry, hor. Tonight cannot because I got gonorrhea."

 

Ah Beng pulls Ah Seng to the side and say, "Eh, you go and check the dictionary and see what 'gonorrhea' means. It it's okay, give me the okay sign."

 

Ah Seng goes to look it up, comes back, and gives Ah Beng a big thumbs-up.

 

Three weeks later, Ah Beng is in the hospital with a severe case of gonorrhea.

 

"Ni na beh," he scolds Ah Seng. "Why you tell me it's okay?"

 

"Not my fault!" says Ah Seng. "In the dictionary, it says gonorrhea affects the privates."

 

Then he points to his stripes: "But we is copler now, mah!"

[Robin]

...

[Skylander]

Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement center were sitting on a bench under a tree when one turns to the other and says: "Slim, I'm 83 years old now and I'm just full of aches and pains.I know you're about my age. How do you feel?"

Slim says, "I feel just like a newborn baby."

"Really !? Like a newborn baby !?"

"Yep. No hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants"..

 

 

Dr. Quek made a routine house call to Mr. Lim, one of his elderly patients.He asks, "And how are you doing today, Mr. Lim?" Mr. Lim replies, "I feel just fine, doc. But you know,it's the strangest thing. Every night when I get up to pang jio, the bathroom light goes on for me automatically when I open the door!" The doctor is worried that the old man is getting senile, so he phones the man's son, and the son's wife answers.

The doctor tells her, "Mrs. Lim, I'm a little concerned about your father-in-law.It seems

that when he gets up to urinate at night and opens the bathroom door, the light somehow goes on..."

At which point, Mrs. Lim yells, "Aiyoh, Ah Seng! Ah Pa pang jio in the fridge again!"

[Cthulhu]

hahaha! thanx for sharing wo!