Married but no Kids?

[Vtim]

I do agree that the set of issues and problems faced by pet owners and parents are totally different. There is no basis for comparison at all.

 

yes, this is what I am waiting to hear from you, there is no basis for comparison at all, I am a cat & dog lover myself, having owned a dog for 14yrs, the magnitude is different from raising a kid

 

 

[Kxbc]

wait till he has his own kids then see if cats and kids are the same or not.

 

Prob won't have any kids unless really accident. My wife is already same age as you. Wouldn't want her to go through a higher risk pregnancy.

[Kxbc]

Haha, agree with you. That's why I never answer my wife when she ask me if she looks fat or not. ANswer either way also get fired.

[Gearoil]

Should always give priority to family with kid or more. This will encourage people to have children if you wanna enjoy better benefits. Like tax rebates, car rebates, etc etc. (i have 3) Keke.

 

Who say so must give priority to family with kids?...on the propaganda surface it might appear so but on a market driven economy, if I need more economical valued ppl...I just 'import' more FTs.

 

Your kids might or might not turn out to be of economical value if at all, most would have cost the state 'an arm and a leg' in subsidies to be of a certain value.

 

So what is happening around you today?

 

Why is the property market so driven, when you hear of some locals having a hard time getting a job?

 

Ironic?...contradictory events happening?

 

I don't think so.....you must first understand the fundamentals instead of harping for ....'Need for priority in this and that!'

 

 

 

[Kxbc]

Should always give priority to family with kid or more. This will encourage people to have children if you wanna enjoy better benefits. Like tax rebates, car rebates, etc etc. (i have 3) Keke.

 

Tax rebates sound good on paper but generally, it does not work well. You have to pay a certain level of tax before you begin to enjoy the full impact of the rebate. Direct cash handouts are not in line with the present govt thinking. There is probably no one good solution to stem the decline in birth rate.

 

Perhaps an extended maternity leave will work. But mothers worry about their employability and rightly so, esp if the family depends on her income as a supplement.

 

It definitely requires more than rebates etc. It requires a shift in local culture and thinking. Probably something no one has thought about at all, if any.

[Vtim]

Aren't we in the same boat/ferry..... me got 4 too... the best hope is not to think about who to save... I'll make sure the boat is safe... otherwise.. we all drown together in this journey....

 

As for me,

Going to school change me from being Childish to Boys...

Serving NS turns me from Boys to Men...

Getting Married from Men to Good Fella....

Having Children from Good Fella to Wise Guy!

 

How come? Now I have to consider many pros and cons before taking any action.. from jobs, hobby, activities, purchases ( cars inclusive ) , lifestyle and all that. Practicing to be less selfish to my needs and more towards sacrificing for the people under my care..

 

That's why choose MPV over Coupe...

 

Your mileage will be different and we are all blessed with many differing views... the good outcome will be to exchange views that makes us a better person. Agreeing to disagree and live in harmony is a wonderful thing to have!

 

 

hey, welcome to the club

 

yah man, having 4 kids is different from when were having just 2 kids.

 

Me wanted to stop at 3, wife prefer 2 but the 3rd try, we got twins. When we were told that wife is having twins, we were not delighted, instead we were in a state of shock for the next 24hrs, we were not sure if we could raised all four of them, with my dad (a stoke victim) and mum having renal failure.

 

Wife and I were considering aborting them, of course none of our parents (including wife's) agree on that, including closed friends. The twins were gift from above, we finally decided to keep them. There were other more serious issues between me and my wife which I will not mention here, don't want to wash dirty laundry in public, lucky both of us compromised and we are happly together as a family now, financially is more or less, right pocket in and left pocket out.

 

[Vtim]

man, i was so sorry to hear all these and am reading this with my red eyes too....

 

I share what you felt, as I went through the same when my one year old boy was going through treatment in KKH during his 3 days admission there.....i was so helpless and can only cry while waiting outside the treatment room and listening to his scream for papa and pain......

 

 

lucky my wife wasn't with me, else, she'll cry even louder

 

to prevent UTI coming back, make sure all my 4 kids have enough Vit C intake daily

[Gearoil]

Tax rebates sound good on paper but generally, it does not work well. You have to pay a certain level of tax before you begin to enjoy the full impact of the rebate. Direct cash handouts are not in line with the present govt thinking. There is probably no one good solution to stem the decline in birth rate.

 

Perhaps an extended maternity leave will work. But mothers worry about their employability and rightly so, esp if the family depends on her income as a supplement.

 

It definitely requires more than rebates etc. It requires a shift in local culture and thinking. Probably something no one has thought about at all, if any.

 

At this point in time, the Pappies will not bargain anymore with the Sinkie as to how to persuade them to have more kids.

 

If the Sinkie always wants to hold a bargaining stick before they have kids, with a mindset full of demands that will not change much, the gahmentwill just import more FTs.

 

If they need more Chinese to offset the other races, they import Ah Tiongs.

 

As a matter of fact, they are getting as as many Indians in as there are Ah Tiongs.

 

So the Pappies don't need to wait for a shift in culture or thinking within the locals lah.....the Pappies are the ones who initiate and cause a change in the type of urban and living patterns that will emerge in the coming years.

[Vtim]

Once again you missed the whole point. whats new for gearoil?

 

he doesnt have kids so he treats his cats as his kids.

but cats can never substitute humans.

 

if he has kids , guess which he will care more about?

kids or cats? He keep on saying same becos he doesnt have kids.

 

wait till he has his own kids then see if cats and kids are the same or not.

 

I already said it a few times. the kind of love he gives to his cats may be the same but the degree will be hugely different if the cats were humans. ie. his own children

 

THAT is my point.

nothing more.

 

As for you, Gearoil.

Try not to be too jealous of the people in this forum. especially yours truly.

 

yar, cats can never replace kids.

 

Well, it's great that he find happiness in having to care for his cats, good for him

 

but when he mention that he goes thru' the same, sour, sweet, bitter, spicy as having kids, I'll have to disagree with him, only when he have kids will he be able to experience it.

 

hey, I am a pet lover too, I had a dog for 14 yrs until he died of kidney failure, carrying for it is different from the kids that I have now

 

[Vtim]

Should always give priority to family with kid or more. This will encourage people to have children if you wanna enjoy better benefits. Like tax rebates, car rebates, etc etc. (i have 3) Keke.

 

 

so, going for the 4th one

 

 

[Vtim]

Prob won't have any kids unless really accident. My wife is already same age as you. Wouldn't want her to go through a higher risk pregnancy.

 

oh, if mid 30's then it is very risky

[Kxbc]

At this point in time, the Pappies will not bargain anymore with the Sinkie as to how to persuade them to have more kids.

 

If the Sinkie always wants to hold a bargaining stick before they have kids, with a mindset full of demands that will not change much, the gahmentwill just import more FTs.

 

If they need more Chinese to offset the other races, they import Ah Tiongs.

 

As a matter of fact, they are getting as as many Indians in as there are Ah Tiongs.

 

So the Pappies don't need to wait for a shift in culture or thinking within the locals lah.....the Pappies are the ones who initiate and cause a change in the type of urban and living patterns that will emerge in the coming years.

I don't have a political agenda. Just voicing my opinion that's all. I am not interested in politics.

[Tonyhawk]

Let me put it into simply:

 

throttle2 loves his kids, he believes kids are more important than cats, wouldnt save a cat over his kid, so be it. His life, his happiness, his choice.

 

kxbc loves his cats, he doesnt want to have kids (correct me if im wrong), and doesnt feel a need to, so be it. His life, his happiness, his choice.

 

Unfortunately, as kxbc has chosen cats and HAS NO kids, theres no discussion, because kxbc is not in a position to compare, as he has no kids. kxbc's comments about cats > kids are merely his own perception, founded on his belief, and not a real experience. T2 has presumably has had both cats and kids, and has chosen kids. therefore is in a better position to compare.

 

BUT being able to compare doesnt mean anything to kxbc, because it is still a matter of personal preference. kxbc, after having kids, may still believe in cats.

 

Personally, i'd much rather people who dont want / cant afford kids not have them. dont bring an innocent being into life only to suffer.....

[Kxbc]

oh, if mid 30's then it is very risky

Well, if it's accident, then we'll go ahead with it. But my ex-boss had her first late 30s and the second early 40s and she's ok, so I guess the risk is still manageable.

 

If we had wanted kids after marriage, my eldest would now be Pri 3 liao.

 

For us, it was a conscious decision not to have kids. Not that we don't like them. It just came about naturally.

 

I do agree with you that kids and pets are not the same. They are different and cannot replace each other. I agree to disagree. That's why I have 5 cats.

[Quirky_ster]

hey, welcome to the club

 

yah man, having 4 kids is different from when were having just 2 kids.

 

Me wanted to stop at 3, wife prefer 2 but the 3rd try, we got twins. When we were told that wife is having twins, we were not delighted, instead we were in a state of shock for the next 24hrs, we were not sure if we could raised all four of them, with my dad (a stoke victim) and mum having renal failure.

 

Wife and I were considering aborting them, of course none of our parents (including wife's) agree on that, including closed friends. The twins were gift from above, we finally decided to keep them. There were other more serious issues between me and my wife which I will not mention here, don't want to wash dirty laundry in public, lucky both of us compromised and we are happly together as a family now, financially is more or less, right pocket in and left pocket out.

 

Nothing happens without a reason... everyone have many differing role to play in society.. even those who are not even thinking about married....

 

Raising 4 is never easy....

Temperature always raising...

They take turns to "suck" your blood.. ok sorry..attention..

We have to monitor 4 subjects for 4 different level of schooling...

Tuition Cost x 4

Meals Cost x 4

Movie Cost x 4

We should always relook at budget stuff and avoid luxury and things we don't need.

Holiday in bolehland by car is way cheaper than the Disneyland in California.. ok even for the one in Hong Kong..

Toying between a $100K Conti MPV or $60K Bolehland MPV. and still undecided.. hee hee..

Support retired parents and give them an OPC car to use for their weekends needs

Compromise, Re-assess, recount and re-analyze, re-think and make good of whatever things at hand...

 

 

Do I have any bits of regret.. No. I don't. In fact, I am thankful that I am given the means to support all these needs and feel good about it.

 

While other collagues all are in Condos and landed, I am just happy living in HDB supporting my 4 children and parents who stays on their own home and a ride for their needs.

 

Giving what is given to you is such a wonderful feeling.

 

It's ok to disagree...

[Vratenza]

Agree with your views except the second last point. That varies from person to person. Some people feel pressured to do all that because they see their neighbours/friends doing it and then the ks syndrome kicks in at turbo charged speed, and thus becoming too stressed over what to eat, where to be educated etc.

 

For the non ks folks or those who can't be bothered or those without the means to give these "extras", I am sure their kids will turn out just as well if not better than those who attended all the Kumon, ballet classes etc, if they teach their kids properly.

 

 

i myself come from a neighbourhood primary school that is nearest to my home then...nothing special to it....and I turned out fine (paiseh to say that )

I don't get to learn music or any formal art lessons.....till today I still cannot play a single music instrument though I usually top the class if not the level in my primary and secondary school art class... so yes I do agree with your point about not needing all the extras to bring up a kid....

 

but there is also another mentality of the parents other than purely KS...that is they want to give their children what they themselves did not get to enjoy as a child........so it's a form of over compensation? Whether this is right or wrong is for another debate altogether...cheers!

[Jamstart]

so, going for the 4th one

I am in my forties and my youngest one is just 1.7yrs old. If I am still younger, why not? Your own kids are always the best and wonderful.

[Jamstart]

Agree with you. Only a parent will know best.