Do you compliment?

[KARTer]

u shaddap and behave

LOL...... never mind, once i get my parrots, i will train them... then i can just enjoy my food/drinks, let them do the talking

[KARTer]

The other side of the coin is that some of us are used to working and keep working without a single word of praise from others (bosses and colleagues), as long as we ourselves know that we are doing the right things, thats enough to keep our momentum. Isnt this part of toughening up our minds? An ocassinal compliment will be like a big bonus!!

 

Of course we can apply this only to ourselves, but i will try give compliments to others when they are due.

 

I wouldn't say its an Asian thing, as Japanese can be very friendly & praise people as well.

 

I would say, in Sinagpore, people are very reserve in praise. Its about upbringing & education.

 

I am learning German at the moment, & I cannot help but notice how basic coutesy & compliment are taught together. You have to say 'please' when you ask. 'Thank you' when someone help or serve you. etc. I heard in Britain, coutesy & road mannars are taught in driving school & it shows on the road.

 

I do not remember in my years of study in Singapore with much emphasis on good mannerism & coutesy, except social studies, or the Hao Kong Ming in my time.

But no one give a damn about social studies & hao kong Ming as its not examinal in Singapore (my time a least).

 

I think the same upbringing & educational system that we cannot accept criticism. Singaporeans cannot take criticism. to admit a mistake or say "I am wrong" is very hard.

 

For many 'angmoh' countries, the upbringing is if someone did a good job, or a bad one, it must be known. To them to say someone did a good job, when it true is only natural, & to say you are wrong, or when they think you are wrong, is also ok, just like saying you are wrong is also ok.

 

After that they moved on. People do not get backside hurt & hold a gruch base on the comments. This is their culture, & many think it is normal, but it isn't 'normal' in Singapore. To tell someone you think they did a bad job, or are wrong is considered "attacking their pride" in Singapore. We get defensive, and all.

 

I have a Scottish friend, & she used to work in SEA (mymnama spelling?), & what she told me was similar to culture in Singapore. People cannot be told they are wrong, & when they are not sure of something or know something, they keep quiet. But she said, once you know the culture, its ok.

 

The issue with SIngapore, is we have many foriegners, & they do not know our culture & characters, & base on reply here, we know not much (or have misconception) of many others culture as well.

 

In my company, we have cultural talks, where show us some characteristic & acceptable/unacceptable norm in other cultures, taught by the native. So far I attended culture talk on Indians, Japanese, Germans etc.

 

Its an eye opener, I would say.

 

I think maybe its a good idea for new Foriegners to have similar talks & training to know Singaporeans & Singapore better to prevent misunderstanding...i.e like never ever bring up NS, or never criticise SIngaporean in the face. etc

 

[KARTer]

I never compliment a woman.

when she's clothed, no need, when she removes her cloth, i become speechless... cant find the words to say, let alone praise

[KARTer]

asians tend to criticize..praise and compliments are something that is so rare that winning lottery seems easier

when a chinese receives praises, he'll say "no lah, i am not really good...."

 

when a westerner receives praises, he'll just say "thank you"

 

are chinese being humble, genuinely humble?

[Speedsun]

IMO, praising unnecessarily need not be a positive trait. Receiving praise from someone who is not generous with praise is more significant than receiving praise from one who is.

Have a nice day!

 

Agree. I like to receive compliments mainly from those who are smart and respectable because they know I have done is more than what I am expected. To me, those who anyhow give compliments to their subordinates are usually weak superiors because they do not know what work standard to be expected from them, so they would just apply what they learnt from books blindly.

[KARTer]

I try to minimise both. Even got some people here used to assumed/imagined any comment to be negative

Constructive critism only if I believe the recipient can interpret correctly. Praises, yes. No idea which one more common

Not that many do things right, or identify correctly, so how to praise?

Confessed tree truck instead of night-blindness, how to praise?

Looking for damaged car number plate instead of making police report, certainly not praise-worthy

It takes a fool to call another. So never condem ourselves.

Wah, your statements all very chim...thought you're on MC?

 

Btw, dont forget to praise ourselves eventhough nobody else does it.... when we genuinely find ourselves doing some good stuff, give ourselves a pat on the shoulder!! no need to wait for others to do it, they may never.....

 

every night before i sleep, i pat myself a few times... then sleep very well!!

[KARTer]

how to praised you when their mouth are as stiff as stone or as cold as ice ...

put some thing hard and hot into it to melt the 'ice'??

[VellfireS]

Do you compliment or praise people in a social or work environment if they did something commendable?

 

Do you find that you praise more or criticize more? Why so?

 

Is it because in Asian culture, people are expected to do everything right so praise is unnecessary?

 

Is it because in Asian culture, people are supposed to show restrain and humility so praising / being praised is "embarassing"?

 

Is it because people are generally inept and not praise worthy?

 

Is it because of some personal insecurity where praising is seen as admitting another person is better than oneself?

 

Please discuss

Wow.. Bro.. You actually made me reflect on what I have been doing all these years.. Hmmm...

[Kiadaw]

The other side of the coin is that some of us are used to working and keep working without a single word of praise from others (bosses and colleagues), as long as we ourselves know that we are doing the right things, thats enough to keep our momentum. Isnt this part of toughening up our minds? An ocassinal compliment will be like a big bonus!!

 

Of course we can apply this only to ourselves, but i will try give compliments to others when they are due.

 

Some things are pretty clear cut, others not so much. If there is a target, & you exceed the target, then its clear. But if you do a painting, or do a design, its can be hard for self judge. So its good to get comments, be it criticism or praise form other, so you know you are doing the right thing & where to improve.

 

Everyone can take praise, but to accept criticism & improve required more character, & the latter will go further in his choose path, IMO.

[KARTer]

Some things are pretty clear cut, others not so much. If there is a target, & you exceed the target, then its clear. But if you do a painting, or do a design, its can be hard for self judge. So its good to get comments, be it criticism or praise form other, so you know you are doing the right thing & where to improve.

 

Everyone can take praise, but to accept criticism & improve required more character, & the latter will go further in his choose path, IMO.

Actually i will consider them as feedbacks or comments, which should be straight to the point as in black is black and white is white. I probably will pay much less attention to praises... if my design (for instance) has its flaws and good points, all i need and will really pay attention to are the straight-forward comments on the subject matter, not the flowery parts / demeaning parts even they do come my way.

[Good-Carbuyer]

Wah, your statements all very chim...thought you're on MC?

 

Btw, dont forget to praise ourselves eventhough nobody else does it.... when we genuinely find ourselves doing some good stuff, give ourselves a pat on the shoulder!! no need to wait for others to do it, they may never.....

 

every night before i sleep, i pat myself a few times... then sleep very well!!

You menat the doctor overdosed the medication?

[Wishcumstrue]

Ta ma de .... tio suan

 

I think praising at work is OK if the person go out of his way to do something.

But of course a simple "thank you" or "well done" will do.

If announce in front of the entire office, I think is a bit overdoing it.

You will know the agenda when a boss openly praise a worker on frequently than others.

[KARTer]

You menat the doctor overdosed the medication?

overdose makes the brain work extra time, so comes out with very chim statements!!

[KARTer]

You will know the agenda when a boss openly praise a worker on frequently than others.

another way of looking at praises:-

 

if the praises help bring out the extra efforts/outputs from the person, why not? praises dont really cost much, but if they produce good results, it will be worth giving the praises. of course in the extreme case of the recipient becoming 'addicted' to praises, something must be done to avoid this.

[Maxus-MIFA9]

I never compliment a woman.

 

hur... than how you able to get her to submit to you ...

[Wishcumstrue]

another way of looking at praises:-

 

if the praises help bring out the extra efforts/outputs from the person, why not? praises dont really cost much, but if they produce good results, it will be worth giving the praises. of course in the extreme case of the recipient becoming 'addicted' to praises, something must be done to avoid this.

 

If a person is a praise-addict, then he is a self-promotor, not a team-player & primed for failure.

 

IMO, there is a clear line between giving due credit and heaping praises.

 

Both can be easily spotted by discerning observer.

 

My point is giving compliment is a delicate affair.

 

How we use it can determine if we reap more benefit or result in back-fire.

[Jman888]

If a person is a praise-addict, then he is a self-promotor, not a team-player & primed for failure.

 

IMO, there is a clear line between giving due credit and heaping praises.

 

Both can be easily spotted by discerning observer.

 

My point is giving compliment is a delicate affair.

 

How we use it can determine if we reap more benefit or result in back-fire.

 

 

this is the reasons why many young professional having a bigger head after spending few years in the 'openly praising' culture. When they join a local firm, they will have hard time understanding other culture.

[Nutsack]

I find that some senior management are very kiam with their acknowledgements (not praises which aren't always required), but really really generous with their criticisms and ticking people off.

 

I'm in management myself - just started - and I'm lucky to be in a very angmo work environment. So it's all good.

 

But my wife and several friends are in more localised companies (some MNCs, others public sector), and they don't even get a "thank you" or "well done" Not that they need it, but it helps to know whether they did things correctly so that they can repeat the same good performance.

 

But when mistakes are made, these managers who're very miserly with their Ps and Qs, are suddenly really philanthropic with their Fs and Us, if you know what i mean.

 

So is that the Asian mentality as well?