Fireball0088 5th Gear September 15, 2014 Share September 15, 2014 Cell Phone Etiquette After a tiring day, a commuter settled down in her seat and closed her eyes.As the train rolled out of the station, the guy sitting next to her pulled out his cell phone and started talking in a loud voice:"Hi sweetheart, its Eric. I am on the train.""Yes, I know it's the six thirty and not the four thirty, but I had a long meeting"."No, honey, not with that blonde from the accounts office. It was with the boss"."No sweetheart, you're the only one in my life"."Yes, I'm sure, cross my heart".Fifteen minutes later, he was still talking loudly, when the young woman sitting next to him had enough, she leaned over and said into the phone, "Eric, hang up the phone and come back to bed."Eric doesn't use his cell phone in public any longer. ↡ Advertisement Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fireball0088 5th Gear September 15, 2014 Share September 15, 2014 Sexual Hair-assmentThis lady walks into her boss's office one day and says, "Sir, I'd like to file a sexual harassment complaint."Her boss says, "Well what's your complaint?"She says, "My co-worker Joe said my hair smelled nice."The boss says, "That's really not sexual harassment."The lady counters, "But, Joe's a midget!" 5 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fireball0088 5th Gear September 15, 2014 Share September 15, 2014 A store that sells “New Husbands” has opened in New York City, where a woman may go to choose a husband.Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates:You may visit this store ONLY ONCE!There are six floors and the value of the products increases as the shopper ascends the floors.The shopper may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband.On the first floor the sign on the door reads:Floor 1 - These men Have Jobs.She is intrigued, but continues to the second floor, where the sign reads:Floor 2 - These men Have Jobs and Love Kids.'That's nice,' she thinks, 'but I want more.' So she continues upward. The third floor sign reads:Floor 3 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, and are Extremely Good Looking.'Wow,' she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going. She goes to the fourth floor and the sign reads:Floor 4 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and Help with Housework.'Oh, mercy me!' she exclaims, 'I can hardly stand it!' Still, she goes to the fifth floor and the sign reads:Floor 5 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, Help with Housework, and Have a Strong Romantic Streak.She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor, where the sign reads:Floor 6 - You are visitor number 31,456,012 to this floor.There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please!!!Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.(scroll and keep reading!)The store's owner opened a “New Wives Store” just across the street.The 1st Floor has wives that listen to men.The 2nd, 3rd, 4th,5th and 6th floor have never been visited by men!!!!!! 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vid Hypersonic September 15, 2014 Share September 15, 2014 I know it's not nice but this prank is damn evil and I was laughing myself crazy [laugh] [laugh] https://www.facebook.com/video.php?v=10152778975781412 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
DavidOh 5th Gear September 16, 2014 Share September 16, 2014 Celebrating Happy Deepavali 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ins1dious Turbocharged September 16, 2014 Share September 16, 2014 4 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alpha78 6th Gear September 16, 2014 Share September 16, 2014 This t-shirt should sell very well here. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darryn Turbocharged September 16, 2014 Share September 16, 2014 This t-shirt should sell very well here. Nah - It would be both illegal and seditious Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ins1dious Turbocharged September 16, 2014 Share September 16, 2014 Nah - It would be both illegal and seditious And personally for me, untrue as well :) I see my cousins elsewhere and thank God that I live here instead. Still... its funny nevertheless Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Leeke1 2nd Gear September 16, 2014 Share September 16, 2014 Haha Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chowyunfatt Turbocharged September 17, 2014 Share September 17, 2014 Haha Catch no balls ... Got English version 吗? 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darryn Turbocharged September 17, 2014 Share September 17, 2014 I like these The balance 3 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Knoobie Supercharged September 17, 2014 Share September 17, 2014 Catch no balls ... Got English version 吗? the wife left a note in the car saying 加油 to the husband. in mandarin, 加油 is commonly used as a phrase as encouragement. the husband was very touched when he saw the note and promised to work hard and provide better for his wife. halfway driving, the car stalled on the highway. realised that petrol is empty... 加油 in mandarin if you do direct translation means topup petrol.. how can our fatt-kor don't understand chinese!! 3 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Byteslurve Supersonic September 17, 2014 Author Share September 17, 2014 (edited) Q: Why did the sun go to school?A: To get brighter! Q: How do you know when the moon has enough to eat?A: When it’s full. Q: what do you call a tick on the moon?A: A luna-tick Q:What kind of music do planets sing?A:Neptunes! Q: What’s a light-year?A: The same as a regular year, but with less calories. Q: Why did the cow go in the spaceship?A: It wanted to see the mooooooon! Q: What do planets like to read?A: Comet books! Q: What did the alien say to the garden?A: Take me to your weeder! Q: Why don’t aliens eat clowns?A: Because they taste funny! Q: What is an astronauts favorite key on the keyboard?A: The space bar! Q: Why did the cow go to outer space?A: To visit the milky way. Q: Where would an astronaut park his space ship?A: A parking meteor! Q: What was the first animal in space?A: The cow that jumped over the moon! Q: Why did Venus have to get an air conditioner?A: Because Mercury moved in. Q: What did the alien say to the cat?A: Take me to your litter. Q: Why did Mickey Mouse go to outer space?A: He was looking for Pluto. Q: What do you call a loony spaceman?A: An astronaut. Q: What did the alien say when he was out of room?A: I’m all spaced out! Q: What do aliens on the metric system say?A: Take me to your liter. Q: Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?A: Because there was no atmosphere. Edited September 17, 2014 by Byteslurve 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chowyunfatt Turbocharged September 17, 2014 Share September 17, 2014 the wife left a note in the car saying 加油 to the husband. in mandarin, 加油 is commonly used as a phrase as encouragement. the husband was very touched when he saw the note and promised to work hard and provide better for his wife. halfway driving, the car stalled on the highway. realised that petrol is empty... 加油 in mandarin if you do direct translation means topup petrol.. how can our fatt-kor don't understand chinese!! Sorry lar ... Last time never stardee ... 😂 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vid Hypersonic September 17, 2014 Share September 17, 2014 Sorry lar ... Last time never stardee ... 😂 Your wife should give you extra "tuition" [laugh] Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maxus-MIFA9 Supersonic September 17, 2014 Share September 17, 2014 the wife left a note in the car saying 加油 to the husband. in mandarin, 加油 is commonly used as a phrase as encouragement. the husband was very touched when he saw the note and promised to work hard and provide better for his wife. halfway driving, the car stalled on the highway. realised that petrol is empty... 加油 in mandarin if you do direct translation means topup petrol.. how can our fatt-kor don't understand chinese!! Fatt Kor only plays with guns...... No need to talk, no need to read, just walk in and starts shooting .... Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Byteslurve Supersonic September 17, 2014 Author Share September 17, 2014 Patient: Doctor, Doctor. I keep seeing in to the future.Doctor: When did this start?Patient: Next Tuesday. ↡ Advertisement 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
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