Rosschang 1st Gear July 20, 2010 Share July 20, 2010 Advise to TS: you need better communication with your wife on how you two would like to settle these issues. Don't quietly accept all that is asked. 先兵后礼... else ho, when things accumulate into an intolerable lvl, the explosion WILL be ugly... Question: why sign line? want to use mobile got prepaid card ma... ask em to buy themselves la... Another curious note: wear ur cloth?... I'm sorry but no one... not even my brother, can touch my cloths. nothing expensive or branded, it's just personal. Even towers/sock/shoe etc. :) Mi n wifey both m'sia... and whenever my inlaws come over... i'll set a line with my wife, those at stuff they can nvr cross. Even thou they are no where near them.. :) ↡ Advertisement Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joemit7850 1st Gear July 20, 2010 Author Share July 20, 2010 this is "My Counseling Forum", a lot of Auntie Agony will will listen to your problem.... but the action depends on you, good luck, i guest it is a life/death situation as i see you can still take it with a smile yup... lot of Auntie or Uncle Agony here... honestly so many things have happen for soo many time which make me getting piss off everytime i heard any "call" from her family..... everytime i heard her family call, my first reaction are shaking my head and i can't talk clamly whenever she talk to me on her family.... i can't imagine this is happening ??? like one of the bro here said it true.. all these had make me getting piss off even small little things about her family.. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joemit7850 1st Gear July 20, 2010 Author Share July 20, 2010 Hi Bro, sorry how old is her sibling, dun they contribute to their family also? why her parents insist on ur wife to take care of them? isn't the older Male child is supposed to take take of all the sibling? Hi bro.. her bro ranging from 2-28, can't imagine the the 1st bro are already 28 and can't behave like adult. out of all the children, i believe only 2 children are contributing to the family which are my wife and the 4th bro, the 1st bro "ambitous job" pay peanuts.. and still need help from father to provide him air-ticket to fly outer part of msia when his teacher job are approved.. other bro are either just started or for some reason cannot work..(valid reason) her parent thinking are different from our parent or us. They think whoever are the most success or earn most money among the family must take care the whole family. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joemit7850 1st Gear July 20, 2010 Author Share July 20, 2010 I don't suppose you have a kid yet.... You really need to trash this out with your wife...now no kid still 'okay' i guess but once the kid comes, your wife has to know where her priorities are. Especially when it comes to money, always make sure there is a pool of money that she cannot touch or use for her family. This pool of money is for you, your wife and your future kid ONLY. People will tell you....love will conquer everything...ya right...before marriage. After marriage...these are the things that will break down a marriage. Have a good chat with your wife and let her know what is your threshold. This problem WILL NOT GO away. Don't let it drag till your kid comes along. People who tell you..."You know the problems before you marry your wife right" are just talking rubbish...they are NOT YOU....you are the one going through it all. Sometimes you need to make a stand that ENOUGH IS ENOUGH...BEYOND THAT...YOU WILL JUST WALK AWAY. I dun have kid yet, planning and that's the reason make me fed up, how can we have kid if she still got to take care of her own family for almost all , before married, we started to save up, but she soon stop to contributed when her family start to ask for money for this and that, and everytime when she is back hometown, she is the only one who pay for everything,, yes everything to even a bot of coca colo. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chewbacca 1st Gear July 20, 2010 Share July 20, 2010 Malaysian represent! But, actually, more like half Singaporean, since I've been in S'pore for....nearly 18 years. So my thinking quite similar to Singaporean. I only have 2 siblings, so.... But, I think the older generations thinking. My dad, the eldest, took care of his younger siblings quite a bit, even though one of them became a doctor, driving a porsche in Aussie..... Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joemit7850 1st Gear July 20, 2010 Author Share July 20, 2010 Good news is that your wife is very family orientated; your kids will have a good mother. She seems like a woman what will stick to her man through the downs in life. The s--t thing that I cannot take is they take your stuff without your knowledge and enter your room without notice. You should fark them for this and give them a stern/firm warning. Money stuff is not that big a deal, I don Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joemit7850 1st Gear July 20, 2010 Author Share July 20, 2010 My thought was this, even if its sibling, they have to pay rent. if come for holiday NVM let them stay. but come for work, make them pay rent. and must set ground rules. And dont help them sign up for line. either they do it themself. or get pre-paid card. Money?? if they need money. send them supplies instead. enough for them to eat can liao. dont need to give extra. actually, my wife had offer to ask them pay rent if they rent the room from us, but my concern is "once agreed, more of her family member will step in" haha Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joemit7850 1st Gear July 20, 2010 Author Share July 20, 2010 Look like you have to open another bank account without your wife knowledge....... Put aside some saving there monthly and try not to touch it for your future kids or raining days...... Show your wife and her family that your money is stretch to very thin with the current account and let them see how drain your are by supporting them (thats only if they automatic leave you and your wife alone)..... Remember, don't let them know of the other account..... haha.. maybe she already open another account behind me.. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joemit7850 1st Gear July 20, 2010 Author Share July 20, 2010 when i say marry her = marry family... i meant that the hubby should have known what to expect before committing to a marriage. that is why there is a need for marriage planning. and does the bros know they are 'leeching' on their sis hubby? and this is no right or wrong.. i as a hubby will try to do my best for my wife... simple as that actually the bro are not "leeching" on me.. but "leeching" on my wife is enough for me.. :angry: Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joemit7850 1st Gear July 20, 2010 Author Share July 20, 2010 Just curious...... How old are these brothers? from 2-28yrs old Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joemit7850 1st Gear July 20, 2010 Author Share July 20, 2010 Just curious, your wife, oldest brother.... then youngest is 2yrs old, are you kidding ? Your parent in law is very good in production, learn something from them or encourage them to impart some knowledge of this sort in singapore... maybe the whole family can make a good living out of it. I'm not kidding or poking fun at them... but there are some many people here paying thousands just to have a child. no la. her father got 2 wife ma.. very common in m'sia and even through he is old, his young wife only less than 36yrs who give birth to the 2yrs Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joemit7850 1st Gear July 20, 2010 Author Share July 20, 2010 nothing should happen if all this was discussed before the marriage sometime, things might change along the way, and you will also not expecting the unexpected... Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Piyopico Supercharged July 20, 2010 Share July 20, 2010 I think your situation is akin to those who marry a wife from Vietnam, Thailand etc. In a way you are "expected" to help her family financially. If your wife is a low income earner and you know her well enough during courtship days, you should have factored this as part of the bargain. Now, very difficult to get out of this situation......... at the minimum you need to try and at least tell her you are bothered and very unhappy about it. Think through the reasons and list them down or else it will just appear that you are uncaring and dun give a damn about her family. GL. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joemit7850 1st Gear July 20, 2010 Author Share July 20, 2010 girls in malaysia kampong are reliable and take care of the family, especially the eldest not really, i got many m'sia fred also.. she is the only one who are so "reliable" to her family... buy toto oso not so "chun" Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joemit7850 1st Gear July 20, 2010 Author Share July 20, 2010 Advise to TS: you need better communication with your wife on how you two would like to settle these issues. Don't quietly accept all that is asked. 先兵后礼... else ho, when things accumulate into an intolerable lvl, the explosion WILL be ugly... Question: why sign line? want to use mobile got prepaid card ma... ask em to buy themselves la... Another curious note: wear ur cloth?... I'm sorry but no one... not even my brother, can touch my cloths. nothing expensive or branded, it's just personal. Even towers/sock/shoe etc. :) Mi n wifey both m'sia... and whenever my inlaws come over... i'll set a line with my wife, those at stuff they can nvr cross. Even thou they are no where near them.. :) at this moment, i am already in "FK" mode against her family, a litter thing can agitate me.. but luckily, i still a person who are not so bad temper, that's why only saw black face when the bro come to my hse.. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joemit7850 1st Gear July 20, 2010 Author Share July 20, 2010 Malaysian represent! But, actually, more like half Singaporean, since I've been in S'pore for....nearly 18 years. So my thinking quite similar to Singaporean. I only have 2 siblings, so.... But, I think the older generations thinking. My dad, the eldest, took care of his younger siblings quite a bit, even though one of them became a doctor, driving a porsche in Aussie..... i dun think this is nationality issue lah.. it more of the family upbring... which i alway told me wife, i am a good example of good family upbring from a good mother... Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Piyopico Supercharged July 20, 2010 Share July 20, 2010 at this moment, i am already in "FK" mode against her family, a litter thing can agitate me.. but luckily, i still a person who are not so bad temper, that's why only saw black face when the bro come to my hse.. Bro, cool it. Look at it this way. Your wife is a good sister. If she can contribute so mauch to her family, imagine how much more she can sacrifice for you and your future child. Her kindness is probably one of the traits that attracted you to her in the first place............. Relax. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joemit7850 1st Gear July 20, 2010 Author Share July 20, 2010 I think your situation is akin to those who marry a wife from Vietnam, Thailand etc. In a way you are "expected" to help her family financially. If your wife is a low income earner and you know her well enough during courtship days, you should have factored this as part of the bargain. Now, very difficult to get out of this situation......... at the minimum you need to try and at least tell her you are bothered and very unhappy about it. Think through the reasons and list them down or else it will just appear that you are uncaring and dun give a damn about her family. GL. my wife salary are not really low, as i alway told her, if not because of your "other" expense, you will always have enough money for saving... sometime you can't really expect everything to be fully scan during courtship or even during married stage cos we will alway thinking that things will get better after married. ↡ Advertisement Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
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