I am so fed up......

[Joemit7850]

Bro, cool it.

 

Look at it this way. Your wife is a good sister. If she can contribute so mauch to her family, imagine how much more she can sacrifice for you and your future child. Her kindness is probably one of the traits that attracted you to her in the first place.............

 

 

Relax.

you re right, brother

 

she can be a good wife .. that's the reason i have never blame her for all these..

cause what she did are not "morally" wrong, it just that she are left for no choice...

[Tigerwoods]

to me.. i dun have any problem helping taking care of her family when they are here for holiday or needs..

but i just can't think of reason why she should helping taking care of the other son..

 

i glad that my wife know my piss-off with them that's why she had never ask me for any help except for this time when they re coming to singapore which i did not reject because of her..

 

as i had alway told her, i am not asking for something ridiculous except some responsible from the brother.. not everything must be sister here sister there... even to the extend of helping the brother in $$ "for first few month" everytime any of the brother coming to singapore to work.. wtf.. no doubt all of them does not have high pay even in Singapore... but i always believe everyone contribute a bit will make the sum enough..

 

recently her youngest bro came to singapore to work penniless even through my wife ask her family not to let him come first, let him earn some extra in m'sia before come over..reason was who is going to take care of his expense in singapore if he is penniless..

next thing we know , they bought the air-ticket even without informing her.. next thing we knoe he is in Singapore with only $50 riggit from the father...

 

even when the 6th bro who got call up to go back m'sia for NS, first thing her parent call up asking for her to arrange for air-ticket, but after many rejection.. her mother bought the ticket herself... can they blame her for saying no? definetly no, who is the one who pay for his air-ticket when he came to singapore to work??

after working here for 3 month, dun even save up some money for air-ticket to m'sia and have to ask from family..

Slorry to ask... All Msians now need to serve NS ?? How long is the NS ??

I thought only selected Malays/Bumiputras need to serve NS in Msia ??

You chinese right ??

[Unltd]

just want to pour out my anger and let goo all the streamzzz cos i am all soo fustrated.

 

my wife have 8 brother and sister whose smallest is only 2yrs old... even through she is the oldest but the oldest bro are only 1 yrs different from her.

 

the whole family are so depending on her....from decision making .. shortage money.. even to the extend when any of her brother got trouble of any kind..she is the first person everyone of her family start to call for help..

 

some of her 1st bro misdeed...

I have open a HP line for one of the brother who used to work in Singapore, but after sometime, decide to return back m'sia to work as a "teacher" with f..king little pay compare to when he is working in Singapore.

reason was working as "teacher" is his ambitious..

without thinking who is going to continous to pay for HIS internet / handphone bill / money installment for laptop using my wife credit card / housing rental which he shared with the younger bro who oso work in Singapore...

 

Some of her 5th bro misdeed...

The HP was pass to him when he start to work in Singapore recently.. with the promise of paying all phone bill which he hd used... the 2nd month bill turn up to be $170 including the $30 from first month.. promise to pay the bill but alway left the bill in my hse... F..King s--t.. after working here as waiter for less than 3mont(idoit, you are not even a salesman,why do you need to make sure a high volumn call in a month).. was called up by Msia NS to join the army for 3 month... dun even care about the HP bill which he was responsible... so now am i suppose to help you pay them????

 

Some of her 4th bro misdeed...

he is the better one among all ..

but when he start to date a girl.. can even forget who is the one who accompany him during his off day..

who is the one who help him to get the course (hairdresser) in Singapore.. who is the one who pay for all the food everytime they are out?? give soo many excuse when my wife ask him to help to cut her hair???

 

Some of her 6th bro misdeed..

he is not really that bad except i am fed up with his manner..come to my hse dun even bother to clean up snack packaging even through just beside him after finishing... he is expecting room service?

 

And for soo many time, dun not even bother to bring their own shirt/shorts when staying my hse.. always got to borrow from me.. i could not take it until my mum told me that she had loss 2 of her unisex T-shirt.. it possible cos they use to wear whatever cloth they can find in my hse..

 

and for soo many time, they do not even bother up to knock my room door before opening... stupid..

and for soo many time, they will just open up my wardroe to take towel without inform me... fish..

 

 

eversince i move in this hse.. i have not really in good terms with her family because i do not agreed to let any of her family to stay in my house for long term.. that's why her brother got to rent a room outside with his uncle.

 

Her 1st brother even got to ask her to leave me because i dun not allow them to stay with us..

Her family even ask her why she want to chose me because they expect her to take care of all her brother..

 

Their family logic is the sister must take care of all the family member including the bigger brother even through they are only 1 yr different in age..

 

Now i am in very big fking bad mood cos my m-inlaw is coming to stay with us for 1month next month, which meant all his brother in singapore will move in as well.. and her 1st brother request to stay in our home for 1.5month from Nov to Jan 11 because he is having holiday as teacher in m'sia... reason for staying in our hse.. cause he got no money to eat ...FKing.....

 

I knw my wife are in most diffiult position that the reason i allow them to stay for time being..

 

But.. i only request for some repect and resposible from her family..

 

How long can this last......

 

Sounds real bad bro, but you marry a person, you also marry the people around them especially her family. Did you ever try telling them off directly? One method is to carry on in this manner, otherwise you gotta tell your wife to stop babysitting the family.

 

I suspect the family is from East Malaysia? Sarawak or something? You either take care of the WHOLE family or you have to be cruel and cut off ties with them. Teach them to stand on their own 2 feet for once, clearly it is not the case of them not having money. Can buy air ticket to fly here on so many trips, the money they save flying over can "feed" their family for a long time as cost of living is low there.

 

They are just trying to sponge on you la.... You or you and wife cut off contact from her family for a few months, change HP, exchange homes with your relatives or best friends so they cannot find you and your wife. They will definately survive and realise they cannot just sponge non stop.

 

I think they have a mentality of "jia jing hao men", that they marry into a "rich" family and expect the "rich" family to take care of everything even though they have the resources to do it themselves.

 

But after all these advice from all of us in MCF, will you walk the talk? I don't think so

[Joemit7850]

Slorry to ask... All Msians now need to serve NS ?? How long is the NS ??

I thought only selected Malays/Bumiputras need to serve NS in Msia ??

You chinese right ??

yup i am chinese, my in law side also chinese but understand now the younger malaysian got to serve at least 3month of their NS in msia.

 

[Tjkbeluga]

Malaysian represent!

 

But, actually, more like half Singaporean, since I've been in S'pore for....nearly 18 years. So my thinking quite similar to Singaporean. I only have 2 siblings, so....

 

But, I think the older generations thinking. My dad, the eldest, took care of his younger siblings quite a bit, even though one of them became a doctor, driving a porsche in Aussie.....

I think nobody dispute the idea of helping in-laws. Its about they owning up to their own problems.

[Maz0608]

Wah TS, you really can 'luan' man! Luckily my mum-in-law or sis-in-law will only stay at my place when I went for my overseas assignment and they are usually gone before I come back. I do not feel comfortable staying together with other people though I have additional room to entertain them.

 

Compared to yours, my in-laws are saint..

[Maz0608]

I can only feel sorry for you, since I'm not wearing your shoes, and have not experienced the same things, I am not qualified to 'give you advice', but i feel you'll have to work it out yourself, instead of asking here in a forum.

 

I think TS is not asking for any advice here. He is just venting out his frustration in the forum and we are here to lend a listening ear.

[Joemit7850]

Wah TS, you really can 'luan' man! Luckily my mum-in-law or sis-in-law will only stay at my place when I went for my overseas assignment and they are usually gone before I come back. I do not feel comfortable staying together with other people though I have additional room to entertain them.

 

Compared to yours, my in-laws are saint..

so i hope you guys will appreciate your in law more after hearing my story...they shouldn't be worse than mine...

[Joemit7850]

I think TS is not asking for any advice here. He is just venting out his frustration in the forum and we are here to lend a listening ear.

you re rite brother, i just feel much better after saying all loud..

it hard to even talk to my friend even through they will listen but they also know my wife, i just dun want her to feel paiseh if my friend know...

 

Edited July 20, 2010 by Joemit7850

[Maz0608]

hmm... look like you are not happy in your current marriage life...

 

i saw the example of malaysia wife, i can only say. i am glade my wife is a singaporean.

 

I couldn't agree more!

[Ngck]

you re rite brother, i just feel much better after saying all loud..

it hard to even talk to my friend even through they will listen but they also know my wife, i just dun want her to feel paiseh if my friend know...

 

 

i understand your problem... cannot be solve easily one unless you wife got heart of steel(which i think you also dun want)

 

me too.... whole extended familee can wear jerseys with my name on it liao....

 

Major sponsor..... hahaha

 

 

hope this makes you feel better.... at least we still got ability to give... that's the fortunate part

 

some ppl is mud Buddha cross river. Want to help also unable to help...

 

but remember to hold on to your reserve tank.... never "show hand" or even loan. just to help them

you must save yourself before you can save others... hahah

Edited July 20, 2010 by Ngck