I am so fed up......

[Joemit7850]

just want to pour out my anger and let goo all the streamzzz cos i am all soo fustrated.

 

my wife have 8 brother and sister whose smallest is only 2yrs old... even through she is the oldest but the oldest bro are only 1 yrs different from her.

 

the whole family are so depending on her....from decision making .. shortage money.. even to the extend when any of her brother got trouble of any kind..she is the first person everyone of her family start to call for help..

 

some of her 1st bro misdeed...

I have open a HP line for one of the brother who used to work in Singapore, but after sometime, decide to return back m'sia to work as a "teacher" with f..king little pay compare to when he is working in Singapore.

reason was working as "teacher" is his ambitious..

without thinking who is going to continous to pay for HIS internet / handphone bill / money installment for laptop using my wife credit card / housing rental which he shared with the younger bro who oso work in Singapore...

 

Some of her 5th bro misdeed...

The HP was pass to him when he start to work in Singapore recently.. with the promise of paying all phone bill which he hd used... the 2nd month bill turn up to be $170 including the $30 from first month.. promise to pay the bill but alway left the bill in my hse... F..King s--t.. after working here as waiter for less than 3mont(idoit, you are not even a salesman,why do you need to make sure a high volumn call in a month).. was called up by Msia NS to join the army for 3 month... dun even care about the HP bill which he was responsible... so now am i suppose to help you pay them????

 

Some of her 4th bro misdeed...

he is the better one among all ..

but when he start to date a girl.. can even forget who is the one who accompany him during his off day..

who is the one who help him to get the course (hairdresser) in Singapore.. who is the one who pay for all the food everytime they are out?? give soo many excuse when my wife ask him to help to cut her hair???

 

Some of her 6th bro misdeed..

he is not really that bad except i am fed up with his manner..come to my hse dun even bother to clean up snack packaging even through just beside him after finishing... he is expecting room service?

 

And for soo many time, dun not even bother to bring their own shirt/shorts when staying my hse.. always got to borrow from me.. i could not take it until my mum told me that she had loss 2 of her unisex T-shirt.. it possible cos they use to wear whatever cloth they can find in my hse..

 

and for soo many time, they do not even bother up to knock my room door before opening... stupid..

and for soo many time, they will just open up my wardroe to take towel without inform me... fish..

 

 

eversince i move in this hse.. i have not really in good terms with her family because i do not agreed to let any of her family to stay in my house for long term.. that's why her brother got to rent a room outside with his uncle.

 

Her 1st brother even got to ask her to leave me because i dun not allow them to stay with us..

Her family even ask her why she want to chose me because they expect her to take care of all her brother..

 

Their family logic is the sister must take care of all the family member including the bigger brother even through they are only 1 yr different in age..

 

Now i am in very big fking bad mood cos my m-inlaw is coming to stay with us for 1month next month, which meant all his brother in singapore will move in as well.. and her 1st brother request to stay in our home for 1.5month from Nov to Jan 11 because he is having holiday as teacher in m'sia... reason for staying in our hse.. cause he got no money to eat ...FKing.....

 

I knw my wife are in most diffiult position that the reason i allow them to stay for time being..

 

But.. i only request for some repect and resposible from her family..

 

How long can this last......

 

 

 

 

 

[Galantspeedz]

when you marry her.. you marry the family.... has been and always will be... though some other peoples opinions 'may differ.

 

i guess your wife from MY... mine is too... to a certain extent.. mine is abit similar too yours, as my wife would hope i can take care of her bros and sis... the difference is lucky they are very independent.... the reason we bought a flat initially was so her bros and sis can save on rental... which i am fine with it... but lucky they dun want to stay...

 

i think you should speak to your wife.. lay down some ground rules with her... and enforce them if need be. EG: her bro hp.. just tell her if her bro dun pay.. she has to pay... and let her pay.. neither should you feel angry about it..., who eat thing must throw away.. if dun throw next time dun eat... and dun let them stay for free... let them pay... not rental but pay enough to cover PUB...so they will not take it for granted

[Ladykillerz]

sorry to hear that.

i am not trying to give selfish opinion here.

here is SG, follow the culture.

the whatsoever, elders must take care of the younger siblings are all bullsh|t.

you married your wife leh, not the whole family hor.

 

if i were you, i will just talk to my wife.

worst comes to worst, change the door lock. =x

 

... useless bunch of sh|t..............

[Silver_blade]

I agree with the others here. Try talking to your wife 1st and see how she feel about it. You and wife can then work from there.

[Kensk]

maybe suggest them go malaysia tour instead of staying in sg for full 1 - 1.5 months. So many things to see here meh ? So boring place.

[Quickfusion]

for the sake of your wife, in order to not put her in a difficult position, you gotta talk to her.

probably you can list down a set of rules in black and white and let your wife enforce it to those that are staying at your house?

[Chewbacca]

Well......for what it's worth: Try to compromise a bit. Because if you go head to head against them, well, it's only your wife that suffers.

 

[Booboon]

Me same case. In law n her bro come stay a us. Eat our food n smoke in my house. My house got young child too. Ccb.

[Joemit7850]

when you marry her.. you marry the family.... has been and always will be... though some other peoples opinions 'may differ.

 

i guess your wife from MY... mine is too... to a certain extent.. mine is abit similar too yours, as my wife would hope i can take care of her bros and sis... the difference is lucky they are very independent.... the reason we bought a flat initially was so her bros and sis can save on rental... which i am fine with it... but lucky they dun want to stay...

 

i think you should speak to your wife.. lay down some ground rules with her... and enforce them if need be. EG: her bro hp.. just tell her if her bro dun pay.. she has to pay... and let her pay.. neither should you feel angry about it..., who eat thing must throw away.. if dun throw next time dun eat... and dun let them stay for free... let them pay... not rental but pay enough to cover PUB...so they will not take it for granted

ur rite, she is from malaysia... the reason i said a BIG no to them for staying in my hse for time being is because she have too many of bro and sis which none of them can take up the responsibity of taking care of the family.. once i agreed to one.. the rest of her family will follow and bring the luggage....

 

actually she had already said she will pay up the phone bill for me.. but i rejected.. cos this is her brother responsibity.. but now i have 2nd thought.. cos i heard that the lawyer letter will be much more than the 170..

[Kopites]

Try not to put your wife into a difficult situation. Share your plea with her. If she do understand than probably you can arrange a "business trip" during your inlaw stay in singapore. Less conflict...less argument. I am sure your wifel will appreciate.

 

 

Side track....Singapore guy always got one lucky and valid avenue to "run away". ICT !!!!!

[Silver_blade]

I feel it is better to deal with the problem as a couple and don't be too calculative in who should foot the bill, clear the mess, etc... Talk to her and see how she feel and both of you can work out how to solve the problems. Work as a team.

[Joemit7850]

sorry to hear that.

i am not trying to give selfish opinion here.

here is SG, follow the culture.

the whatsoever, elders must take care of the younger siblings are all bullsh|t.

you married your wife leh, not the whole family hor.

 

if i were you, i will just talk to my wife.

worst comes to worst, change the door lock. =x

 

... useless bunch of sh|t..............

i agree with you.. with some respect to her family.. i do not want to stop her from helping her brother in any case.. or even some money issue which she already did for many time..

but not to the extend of she got to settle all the family problem even to the extend of paying the money herself for their family van repair after her 5th brother accident.......

 

den when can we start our own saving??? with all her money sent back every month....

 

 

[Joemit7850]

I agree with the others here. Try talking to your wife 1st and see how she feel about it. You and wife can then work from there.

no use . talk to her many many time... her hand are tight..

i don't blame her.. cos she cannot bo chup her family also..

 

but i did told her not to involve too much when the problem are none of her business..

 

[Ladykillerz]

i agree with you.. with some respect to her family.. i do not want to stop her from helping her brother in any case.. or even some money issue which she already did for many time..

but not to the extend of she got to settle all the family problem even to the extend of paying the money herself for their family van repair after her 5th brother accident.......

 

den when can we start our own saving??? with all her money sent back every month....

 

bro, i am not here to spoil the happy family here.

just feel kinda turn off with those cannot-make-it brothers..

yes, move on.

stop all the finance help and start saving up for the good of you and your wife.

 

think about it lah.

siblings are to help one another, not depending on ONE.

screw them lah!~

[Joemit7850]

maybe suggest them go malaysia tour instead of staying in sg for full 1 - 1.5 months. So many things to see here meh ? So boring place.

cannot lah.. her mother will need someone to company her to msia as well..my wife got to work as well. i ok with the mother coming here.. except the 1st brother who

thinking of coming to our hse for 1.5month for free lodging and food...... i am not so petty about this until i remember the way he treat his sister before leaving to m'sia for his own good... and to think my wife are helping paying all his expense ....

 

[Silver_blade]

Agree that her hands are tight and not possible for her not to care for her family. But you can at least work out with here on issues such as unpaid phone bills (and how to prevent such thing happening in future, etc...) and like you said, how to be less proactive when minor problems arise in her family. That would be a good start.

[Joemit7850]

for the sake of your wife, in order to not put her in a difficult position, you gotta talk to her.

probably you can list down a set of rules in black and white and let your wife enforce it to those that are staying at your house?

i know.. she is in most difficult position.. not me..

that's why i have some talk this few day with her.. i will not stop her from letting them stay for that few month...

but is only matter of time before i explode if their attitude remained....

[Joemit7850]

Me same case. In law n her bro come stay a us. Eat our food n smoke in my house. My house got young child too. Ccb.

but is it for only temporary or they intend to stay for goods?