Dad got mistress outside(help)

[David]

My most sincere apologies first because I am going to ask 1)how old are you and 2)do you have a family of your own?

 

What Relagsingh said here make sense; "just speak out your mind about what you think and see what he has to say too.

 

maintain respect but save the tact. just go straight to the point. what he did is wrong anyway. but he's still your dad."

 

But I was thinking if you are still young and have not a family yet, then maybe you should approach one of your uncles or aunties from your father's side to talk sense into him. Afterall he has given you a life and education.

 

If you talk straight to him, it might affect your future relationship with him, whether he has or has not a mistress. The key thing is maintain a father-son relationship.

[Renegade777]

CPF take already,he said part of the $$ went to pay debts and borrow friend

 

This part should raise the red flag oready.

 

Too many cases of these reported in the evening chinese newspapers.

 

Sekali money part already nebermind but worst is nothing has been done.

[Gendut]

Let me give you another perspective to view this from.

 

1) What your father is spending and lavishing and giving, it may be money, condo, car jewelry, whatever, is what YOU would be receiving if she wasn't in the picture.

 

2) Another way to look at it is that your father is NOT in love, its LUST.

 

Not to say that you should follow my opinion but I will get rid of that leeching bitch...PRONTO

[Scion]

maybe it's only for fun...

 

warn ur dad... outside drink milk can, but dun bring the whole cow back home...

but then, if the milk is too exp, also not good... worse, if it's tainted...

[Nullifi3d]

hi all,need you guys advises,i recently found out that my father had a mistress outside.As a son wat should i do? should i break this news to my mum?i dun want to have a broken family...

stress,help...

thanks

 

Before confronting its always best to have proof of their affair. No proof means you've just made yourself look like a fool.

 

And no, don't tell your mum. Let him tell your mum himself.

[Silver_blade]

Like what most people have said. I also feel you should have a talk with him, speak your mind and take it from there on the next step.

 

I have come across quite a few cases (friends' dad) before. Most of the time, it's almost a no turning back for the old man (until they are cheated or the relationship just ended). Most of them are too involved in the new relationship to think straight. Need a lot of time for the rest of the family to work out how best to deal with the situation. In all, a very trying time for the rest of the family.

[Silver_blade]

To add: Most importantly is to keep your cool when talking to him. Best is to sort out your thoughts before talking to him and go straight to the point..don't beat around the bush...cos it can be an already a complicated issue.

[Iliketodrive]

now u talk to him or get whoever talk to him also no use lah, now every nite got young lady help him lick lolipop...the kukubird life coming to an end soon, 50+ yr old liao, he will not listen to anything lah, nothing is more important than kukubird, got so much $ also not use, next time cant hard liao... take a knife and cut it off & u will get ur dad back. u will not go to jail also, u are his son. he will not report u!

[Silver_blade]

What you said make sense...but you should be more sensitive in the way you put it. It's not easy for TS to deal with this.

[Gantan88]

hi all,need you guys advises,i recently found out that my father had a mistress outside.As a son wat should i do? should i break this news to my mum?i dun want to have a broken family...

stress,help...

thanks

Show yr dad similar examples how old man got cheated. News articles, magazines etc. Coz by just talking to him, he can't think straight now.

 

It is hard to convince now immediately. Maybe what u can do is slow things down. Persuade yr dad to wait a little longer and suggest ways to 'test' the china girl. Drag things a little bit to allow you have more time to think how to proceed.

[En0203]

Hi,

 

sorry to hear about your story. Does your father have any close brothers or sisters? You may want to start with one of your auntie/uncle first and let them talk to your father if you relationship with your father is not very close. Just some suggestion, hope it helps.

[Turbonetics]

my dad ard 50plus,yes from china think the girl quite young,can become daugther

 

jia lat.

he must have been "possessed".

i think it will be very hard for him to turn back.

[Route88]

hi all,need you guys advises,i recently found out that my father had a mistress outside.As a son wat should i do? should i break this news to my mum?i dun want to have a broken family...

stress,help...

thanks

 

Go and take her as 2nd wife. Its legal and safe

[Mage]

2nd wife legal meh?

[Circuit]

dun wait and see look..

i seen a real life case.

 

a china lady, came over.. married a guy, gave birth to his child.

then house is together put name buy one.

 

then posb account with lotsa money oso both names...

 

BUT... end of the day !!!

 

all the account money withdrawn .

left a letter to say i leaving home for good. dun need to find me.

the child i give u ... as a parting gift.

 

the house will engage a lawyer file divorce and arrange to claim half the house , sell then money to her account.

 

--- thats wat i seen before.

China gals... be very careful !!!!

[Kennylwp]

Most men who had mistress will not leave wife...esp those who had children, whether old or young kids. They jus wan the best of Both worlds, to hav e wife n mistress at e same time. So maybe u dun worry abt ur dad leaving ur mum. But to worry abt ur dad's $$ n oso to make ur dad leave tat Slut.

 

My dad had several affairs in his whole life. Most of the time was ended by my mum cos she went befriend e other lady n make them leave my dad...it's oso cos they din know tt my dad is married wif 3 kids. My mum was clever enuff to show them our family photo.

 

N abt 6yrs bk, my dad found his old flame, another affair, went late wif her, stay overnite, went overseas....We as his children r all in our mid 20s n he still eat out...He told my mum," I wan both of u...I dun care." We quarrelled countless times..went to tt slut's house...she oso refused to let go.

 

I rem e day he repent is when I got married n my bb coming out...then my mum n dad had to child care my son tt he was so busy n ended e affair...N tt my 2nd son is oso v handful, he dun even had e urge to eat out...

 

It's based on case by case...My dad had "tao hua yun" which many fortune teller told us...maybe we r mentally prepared...But I can tell u we will nvr respect him as a father liao...Treat him transparent...hated him to core...sometimes we jus vent our anger n scolded him for nothing...tink he deserve it...old n lonely now.

[Ngck]

hi all,need you guys advises,i recently found out that my father had a mistress outside.As a son wat should i do? should i break this news to my mum?i dun want to have a broken family...

stress,help...

thanks

 

talk to him calmly... ask him what do he really wants.

 

he is a adult and free to make his own choice. you can only try to wake up his idea. get close friends and relative to convince him.

 

most of the time they will not listen and come back without a cent finally. know of 2-3 real life cases before.

 

talking and convincing him is about the only thing you can do. sorry to say that

[Kb27]

It is quite obvious that the China "mistress" is looking for your dad's money.

Your dad at his age is probably looking for some attention and along comes one..

 

You need to sit down and talk to him calmly about the potential problem if he goes on this way.

He may lose all his cpf money if not restrained or come to his senses....besides a broken marriage.