Need advice..

[Baphomet]

I have a dilemma here..

 

I'm 28 yrs old. Married with a daughter 5 years old.

 

I'm earning around 3K per month and my wife ard 3.5k.

 

As Im nearing 30...i realised we do not have much savings..

 

Unacceptable...

 

Thus began moderating our expenses trying to save a portion of our pay.

 

Slowly seeing some progress..

 

Recently my In-laws' kept asking us to move over to their place and rent out our current flat..as they have 2 empty rooms

 

... then we can apply for BTO and collect rent in the mean time.

 

Now face this dilemma... in one end its a good way to save up for future as evey month can save up ard 2k more.

 

in the other end..don't know whats troubling me that feel that its not good idea..some how like lost of privacy.., freedom and

 

the feeling of losing a shelter which is my own..

 

I have no problems with my In-Laws..in fact they treat me better then my own parents treat me..(i used to stay with them for

 

2 years before I married my wife)..just have this feeling of unease in my heart...

 

Any bros can give me advice?

 

[Freestylers09]

u have to gif up something to fulfil something

 

a balance i will say

 

the choice of u can lead u to be what u want in future

 

so u choose privacy or better lifestyle?

 

i feel staying with elder is okay, at least home got more pple and more lively

 

unless u tell me everyday fighting kind,then different la

[Little_prince]

it's an easy solution to your problems....

 

go for it.

 

swollow your pride.

 

you'd be much better off in the long run

[Mazdaowner]

A King, giving up his castle..will never feel the same in another.

 

In local context, it would be seen as you, not being able to provide a

comfortable abroad for your family, thus needing to seek shelter.

You cannot control what people think in their minds, and also what you

will feel otherwise, if you're not bothered with it, then by all means, do the needful

and save the money, then again, uneasiness would stem from your

inner worries of the house being made into a mess by the tenants.

There is always worries compounding worries.

 

When I was your age, I, too was like you, and I already had 3 boys...

my simplicity was..."Don't think of how to cross the bridge, till you come to it"

 

Youth comes but once.

 

 

I have a dilemma here..

 

I'm 28 yrs old. Married with a daughter 5 years old.

 

I'm earning around 3K per month and my wife ard 3.5k.

 

As Im nearing 30...i realised we do not have much savings..

 

Unacceptable...

 

Thus began moderating our expenses trying to save a portion of our pay.

 

Slowly seeing some progress..

 

Recently my In-laws' kept asking us to move over to their place and rent out our current flat..as they have 2 empty rooms

 

... then we can apply for BTO and collect rent in the mean time.

 

Now face this dilemma... in one end its a good way to save up for future as evey month can save up ard 2k more.

 

in the other end..don't know whats troubling me that feel that its not good idea..some how like lost of privacy.., freedom and

 

the feeling of losing a shelter which is my own..

 

I have no problems with my In-Laws..in fact they treat me better then my own parents treat me..(i used to stay with them for

 

2 years before I married my wife)..just have this feeling of unease in my heart...

 

Any bros can give me advice?

 

[Baphomet]

u have to gif up something to fulfil something

 

a balance i will say

 

the choice of u can lead u to be what u want in future

 

so u choose privacy or better lifestyle?

 

i feel staying with elder is okay, at least home got more pple and more lively

 

unless u tell me everyday fighting kind,then different la

 

 

The problem is that at the moment..the pros and cons seems to balance out each other..

 

So still considering. Asked my wife she says up to me, what i decide she will follow..

[Baphomet]

A King, giving up his castle..will never feel the same in another.

 

In local context, it would be seen as you, not being able to provide a

comfortable abroad for your family, thus needing to seek shelter.

You cannot control what people think in their minds, and also what you

will feel otherwise, if you're not bothered with it, then by all means, do the needful

and save the money, then again, uneasiness would stem from your

inner worries of the house being made into a mess by the tenants.

There is always worries compounding worries.

 

When I was your age, I, too was like you, and I already had 3 boys...

my simplicity was..."Don't think of how to cross the bridge, till you come to it"

 

Youth comes but once.

 

amazing...you are bulls eye on what im feeling right now.

[Dafansu]

best way to save is not to own a car. even you apply for new flat you need to stay inside the flat and can only rent out one room

[Vextan]

A King, giving up his castle..will never feel the same in another.

 

In local context, it would be seen as you, not being able to provide a

comfortable abroad for your family, thus needing to seek shelter.

You cannot control what people think in their minds, and also what you

will feel otherwise, if you're not bothered with it, then by all means, do the needful

and save the money, then again, uneasiness would stem from your

inner worries of the house being made into a mess by the tenants.

There is always worries compounding worries.

 

When I was your age, I, too was like you, and I already had 3 boys...

my simplicity was..."Don't think of how to cross the bridge, till you come to it"

 

Youth comes but once.

very well said indeed.

 

for me, i will think what is more important , money or privacy\comfort ? then the decision is clear. but dont forget you stay with your in laws you more or less have toc ontribute some money to cover the expenses\rental to them.

Edited November 19, 2010 by Vextan

[Berncsp76]

yeah TS just tahan for a few years, save up the $$ for your child's future education and perhaps can save another portion for upgrading to private housing.

 

Since you mentioned that your in-laws treats your family well I dun see any problem living with them, as they can also help look after your child and also housekeeping, and you still save a substantial portion.

 

Except that they needed you to pay rental of the rooms as well as other household expenses then is another issue...but if chip in a little should be ok coz the utilities will be going up too...

 

My 2 cents.

[Solar]

and importantly, you have to continue to have your own house (renting it out, not selling it away).one day should things turn ugly, you still have your place to move to.

a friend, got married, moved into her house with her parents. paid for their morgage, utility & stuffs.bliss for a few years then things started to turn ugly...got separated and moved out with nothing in return. its like renting from someone else.

now 40++, have nothing much in savings, asset or house..u can imagine what it is like for him..

[Jman888]

i think it is a blessing in some ways and you should not concern about what other think.... or it matter to you living under the roof of your in-law.

 

if you are the control type, then perhaps not a good idea as there will be conflict.

 

if you are the easy type and appreciate the care giving to your kids, hot meals when you return home, work hard even away from home and your family has some support when you are away.

 

the financial aspect will pay off in future.......

[Kangadrool]

TS has a happy problem.

[Baphomet]

best way to save is not to own a car. even you apply for new flat you need to stay inside the flat and can only rent out one room

 

haiz...i bought a car because me and my wife working hours very hard to send kid to childcare and yet make it to work in time...

 

 

actually the plan was to rent out till im able to get a new flat. then I will just stay there..dun intend to rent out anymore from

 

then on..

 

This est 5 years of rental should be able to cover my kid's future studies.

[Baphomet]

very well said indeed.

 

for me, i will think what is more important , money or privacy\comfort ? then the decision is clear. but dont forget you stay with your in laws you more or less have toc ontribute some money to cover the expenses\rental to them.

 

altough my In-Laws said that no need to pay rental or anything.. I will still contribute to pay all the household fees bah. Thats the least i can do..

[Actan72]

I have a dilemma here..

 

I'm 28 yrs old. Married with a daughter 5 years old.

 

I'm earning around 3K per month and my wife ard 3.5k.

 

As Im nearing 30...i realised we do not have much savings..

 

Unacceptable...

 

Thus began moderating our expenses trying to save a portion of our pay.

 

Slowly seeing some progress..

 

Recently my In-laws' kept asking us to move over to their place and rent out our current flat..as they have 2 empty rooms

 

... then we can apply for BTO and collect rent in the mean time.

 

Now face this dilemma... in one end its a good way to save up for future as evey month can save up ard 2k more.

 

in the other end..don't know whats troubling me that feel that its not good idea..some how like lost of privacy.., freedom and

 

the feeling of losing a shelter which is my own..

 

I have no problems with my In-Laws..in fact they treat me better then my own parents treat me..(i used to stay with them for

 

2 years before I married my wife)..just have this feeling of unease in my heart...

 

Any bros can give me advice?

 

Seeing each other & staying together are different ball game...

There maybe conflicts and argument.. Just be prepare for this

Edited November 19, 2010 by Actan72

[Baphomet]

and importantly, you have to continue to have your own house (renting it out, not selling it away).one day should things turn ugly, you still have your place to move to.

a friend, got married, moved into her house with her parents. paid for their morgage, utility & stuffs.bliss for a few years then things started to turn ugly...got separated and moved out with nothing in return. its like renting from someone else.

now 40++, have nothing much in savings, asset or house..u can imagine what it is like for him..

 

thats why selling the house was never an option.. also don't know able to get a bto flat or not as second timer(received grant when i bought current resale flat).

Edited November 19, 2010 by Baphomet

[Baphomet]

i think it is a blessing in some ways and you should not concern about what other think.... or it matter to you living under the roof of your in-law.

 

if you are the control type, then perhaps not a good idea as there will be conflict.

 

if you are the easy type and appreciate the care giving to your kids, hot meals when you return home, work hard even away from home and your family has some support when you are away.

 

the financial aspect will pay off in future.......

 

 

actually how others think was never an issue to me..(I used to stay there for 2 years before marrying my wife)

 

[Pcslim]

I have no problems with my In-Laws..in fact they treat me better then my own parents treat me..(i used to stay with them for

 

2 years before I married my wife)..just have this feeling of unease in my heart...

 

Any bros can give me advice?

Think twice. That was many years ago b4 married with kid.

 

In any case, wish u luck.