How To Avoid Dementia.

[Heartlander]

On 5/12/2025 at 10:37 AM, Atonchia said:

Talking about dementia.... 

So for Careshield life, the monthly payout is $612. 

Nursing home need at least $3000 per month before subsidy... 

Meaning even with Careshield life, without additional insurance coverage, the children of dementia sufferers need to minimally spend that amount each month for nursing home. 

https://www.cpf.gov.sg/member/infohub/educational-resources/why-you-should-consider-careshield-life-over-eldershield

I know domestic helper might not be the best care giver, but could it be an alternative of last resort? Just fork out abit more only. 

[Lala81]

On 5/12/2025 at 12:49 PM, Atonchia said:

Then it's spouse take care until one pass away, then the surviving spouse likely be appearing on the dying alone thread. 

I mean its very real. Even for myself I see the future of just staying with wife when children grown up. Then it's more of who is the lone surviving one in the future, children probably meet up once a week if still living in SG. Then also have chances of popping on the dying alone thread. 

Unless kids call daily to check.

Or really cannot take care oneself, need to be in nursing home. Then kids will receive phone call when time comes.

Thats why need to take care of ones own health. Need to have some hobbies or some social component. 

Also just need to be more bloody open minded lah. This mentality have to learn when you can still learn. 

So many old folks, just cannot accept changes. 

 

My mum die die insist she don't want helper to jaga her. Literally said she will jump down in her rants. 

Applied and tried to get her to go to the St lukes eldercare. She went one morning and refused to go anymore. Even tell the other old folks there that its a waste of time. Granted that I feel it's not very useful for her. Its not engaging enough for those who can take care of themselves. 

She knows she's has bad memory but is absolutely delusional. Tell us she can go back to working anytime. Argue with her until blood boil also no point. 

Just Gave up. 

Either she reaches the point when she can't self care and I dunno when is my dad's breaking point. 

Hire helper is easy? I can afford but also cannot. 

家家有本难念的经

Edited May 12 by Lala81

[Playtime]

On 5/12/2025 at 4:51 PM, Lala81 said:

Thats why need to take care of ones own health. Need to have some hobbies or some social component. 

Also just need to be more bloody open minded lah. This mentality have to learn when you can still learn. 

So many old folks, just cannot accept changes. 

 

My mum die die insist she don't want helper to jaga her. Literally said she will jump down in her rants. 

Applied and tried to get her to go to the St lukes eldercare. She went one morning and refused to go anymore. Even tell the other old folks there that its a waste of time. Granted that I feel it's not very useful for her. Its not engaging enough for those who can take care of themselves. 

She knows she's has bad memory but is absolutely delusional. Tell us she can go back to working anytime. Argue with her until blood boil also no point. 

Just Gave up. 

Either she reaches the point when she can't self care and I dunno when is my dad's breaking point. 

Hire helper is easy? I can afford but also cannot. 

家家有本难念的经

Sounds like she just hasn't reached that stage yet.

In time, even you want to argue she also cannot. 

[Lala81]

On 5/12/2025 at 4:59 PM, Playtime said:

Sounds like she just hasn't reached that stage yet.

In time, even you want to argue she also cannot. 

Just a matter of time. The decline year on year is very distinct. 

But she's going to just learn it the hard way. And she probably can never learn it. 

It's like got easier way and crash and burn way. But she chose to do it the hard way. 

Edited May 12 by Lala81

[Playtime]

On 5/12/2025 at 5:20 PM, Lala81 said:

Just a matter of time. The decline year on year is very distinct. 

But she's going to just learn it the hard way. And she probably can never learn it. 

It's like got easier way and crash and burn way. But she chose to do it the hard way. 

It seems she has a very strong character. Sound like she's really still in early stage. The "self" still strong.

Be prepared for the next part when the hard disk bad sectors and fragmentation becomes substantial and effects reality... but the "self" is still strong enough to act based on the altered reality. 

Example... insist on going out looking for non existant houses, places, people, bank accounts etc. 🤦‍♂️🤷‍♂️😵... or worse, even rejecting family members. 😮‍💨.... 

Then it kinda gets "easier"... cos the person's self and character slowly disappears  ... though calling that stage "easier" could be subjective. 😑

[Lala81]

On 5/12/2025 at 6:23 PM, Playtime said:

It seems she has a very strong character. Sound like she's really still in early stage. The "self" still strong.

Be prepared for the next part when the hard disk bad sectors and fragmentation becomes substantial and effects reality... but the "self" is still strong enough to act based on the altered reality. 

Example... insist on going out looking for non existant houses, places, people, bank accounts etc. 🤦‍♂️🤷‍♂️😵... or worse, even rejecting family members. 😮‍💨.... 

Then it kinda gets "easier"... cos the person's self and character slowly disappears  ... though calling that stage "easier" could be subjective. 😑

She already some early stage of this liao. She also getting more paranoid. Say we plotting against her. Well to some degree, 90% of the things she still can do. 

[Atonchia]

On 5/12/2025 at 4:51 PM, Lala81 said:

Thats why need to take care of ones own health. Need to have some hobbies or some social component. 

Also just need to be more bloody open minded lah. This mentality have to learn when you can still learn. 

So many old folks, just cannot accept changes. 

 

My mum die die insist she don't want helper to jaga her. Literally said she will jump down in her rants. 

Applied and tried to get her to go to the St lukes eldercare. She went one morning and refused to go anymore. Even tell the other old folks there that its a waste of time. Granted that I feel it's not very useful for her. Its not engaging enough for those who can take care of themselves. 

She knows she's has bad memory but is absolutely delusional. Tell us she can go back to working anytime. Argue with her until blood boil also no point. 

Just Gave up. 

Either she reaches the point when she can't self care and I dunno when is my dad's breaking point. 

Hire helper is easy? I can afford but also cannot. 

家家有本难念的经

I think my personality cannot go elderly home if I am still mobile. 

Sure have book-in timing, lights off timing, sound nice to say like military camp.... Sound awful to say like in jail... Can feel too regimental to some... for me, if still have mobility will want to move around a bit. 

[Atonchia]

On 5/12/2025 at 3:07 PM, Heartlander said:

I know domestic helper might not be the best care giver, but could it be an alternative of last resort? Just fork out abit more only. 

That's provided the elderly still have some form of mobility, then helper still can help to take care.

If totally immobile and almost vegetative state like my late grandma, need to send her to nursing home, the nurse caring for her, every few hours need to turn her to one side of body, at some stage need to be fed through tube. 

[Lala81]

On 5/12/2025 at 8:01 PM, Atonchia said:

I think my personality cannot go elderly home if I am still mobile. 

Sure have book-in timing, lights off timing, sound nice to say like military camp.... Sound awful to say like in jail... Can feel too regimental to some... for me, if still have mobility will want to move around a bit. 

谁想要？

Of course best is age at home. 

Problem is we have less and less multi gerational living and a communal small community anymore. 

 

[Atonchia]

On 5/12/2025 at 8:51 PM, Lala81 said:

谁想要？

Of course best is age at home. 

Problem is we have less and less multi gerational living and a communal small community anymore. 

 

True and I agree. 

Come to a point if I reach a state that cannot care for myself, will want my kids or spouse to send me to either palliative care or nursing home, depending on type of ailments.

[Playtime]

On 5/12/2025 at 9:21 PM, Atonchia said:

True and I agree. 

Come to a point if I reach a state that cannot care for myself, will want my kids or spouse to send me to either palliative care or nursing home, depending on type of ailments.

 

I belive there is a difference between living, and mere existing.

for myself... i dont want to just exist as a piece of lab meat or potted plant. itll only cause pain and suffering to everyone.... esp myself if my mind still even exist. If my mind is gone, why the hell still hang on?

it may offend people...but im a huge proponent of people having a choice to get euthanasia. The problem with dementia is by the time you reach there.... you probably no longer able to decide. but nobody looks at a dementia patient and goes :"Id like some of that. Its ok"

[RadX]

On 5/13/2025 at 8:04 AM, Playtime said:

 

I belive there is a difference between living, and mere existing.

for myself... i dont want to just exist as a piece of lab meat or potted plant. itll only cause pain and suffering to everyone.... esp myself if my mind still even exist. If my mind is gone, why the hell still hang on?

it may offend people...but im a huge proponent of people having a choice to get euthanasia. The problem with dementia is by the time you reach there.... you probably no longer able to decide. but nobody looks at a dementia patient and goes :"Id like some of that. Its ok"

Same!

[Lala81]

On 5/13/2025 at 8:04 AM, Playtime said:

 

I belive there is a difference between living, and mere existing.

for myself... i dont want to just exist as a piece of lab meat or potted plant. itll only cause pain and suffering to everyone.... esp myself if my mind still even exist. If my mind is gone, why the hell still hang on?

it may offend people...but im a huge proponent of people having a choice to get euthanasia. The problem with dementia is by the time you reach there.... you probably no longer able to decide. but nobody looks at a dementia patient and goes :"Id like some of that. Its ok"

I'm just waiting for some country to offer it as a proper service. 

Unfortunately hard to do it cross-border as the legality part is grey. 

 

Edited May 13 by Lala81

[Playtime]

 

Not dementia per se..  but ALS. Brain disease too.

You can see how fast deterioration happens ... life is short, you can lose it all very quickly.

So... I guess, just remember to enjoy, be thankful, be happy.... let the little unhappy stuff past you by.😔

 

Edited May 23 by Playtime

[Lala81]

My mum deteriorating. 

She's been trying to leave home for the last few weeks. Increasingly convinced this isn't her home. Convinced that we are forcing her to stay in her not home. Argue with her over phone. Don't believe any of us. Siblings over phone. Neighbour etc. Very nasty to my dad. 

2 days ago she just went downstairs for a while. Then returned home. 

Today she brought all kind of plastic bags full of stuff to go "home". Cannot convince her over phone. She managed to get on a bus to Central without an ez link card.

Meanwhile I was already driving down from yishun. Reached clementi but she took mrt, reached Redhill and no update from tracker for like twenty mins. Drove on AYE in slow traffic. Thought she wandering around. I drove until lower delta then my sis say update at aljunied. I drove to ECP. At between MCE and ECP found out she back tracked. Stopped for pee break and pump petrol. Drove back to clementi mrt via PIE. Reached the mrt since I was exiting anyway. But she reached home. 

Says she lost her luggage etc. 

Now waiting for her to eat finish dinner (a chicken chop that I overbought when I left my kids and wife at yishun). 

Surely will happen again. 

 

[mersaylee]

On 10/10/2025 at 8:57 PM, Lala81 said:

My mum deteriorating. 

She's been trying to leave home for the last few weeks. Increasingly convinced this isn't her home. Convinced that we are forcing her to stay in her not home. Argue with her over phone. Don't believe any of us. Siblings over phone. Neighbour etc. Very nasty to my dad. 

2 days ago she just went downstairs for a while. Then returned home. 

Today she brought all kind of plastic bags full of stuff to go "home". Cannot convince her over phone. She managed to get on a bus to Central without an ez link card.

Meanwhile I was already driving down from yishun. Reached clementi but she took mrt, reached Redhill and no update from tracker for like twenty mins. Drove on AYE in slow traffic. Thought she wandering around. I drove until lower delta then my sis say update at aljunied. I drove to ECP. At between MCE and ECP found out she back tracked. Stopped for pee break and pump petrol. Drove back to clementi mrt via PIE. Reached the mrt since I was exiting anyway. But she reached home. 

Says she lost her luggage etc. 

Now waiting for her to eat finish dinner (a chicken chop that I overbought when I left my kids and wife at yishun). 

Surely will happen again. 

 

Sorry to hear...one aunt also liddat since years ago...ended up in mata chu many times liao...once in lokun chu...she's still around...and wanders around...🙏😂

[Playtime]

On 10/10/2025 at 10:30 PM, mersaylee said:

Sorry to hear...one aunt also liddat since years ago...ended up in mata chu many times liao...once in lokun chu...she's still around...and wanders around...🙏😂

Also dementia?

If it is, it's amazing that she still retains cognitive ability to move around. 

[Jamesc]

Reading MCF prevents dementia.