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Sharing of Good Jokes

Byteslurve

By Byteslurve,
in Lite & EZ

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Still2016

Still2016

Twincharged

ROYAL EAVESDROP

 

Camilla, the Duchess of Cornwall, bought new shoes fr her wedding but they were a size too small.....

On that big day, they became un-comfortably tight. When the festivities were  over, and they had retired to their room, she sunk into bed, absolutely relieved, "Charles darling, please remove my shoes, my feet are killing me !

 

Her ever obedient Prince ofWales attended to her right foot with vi-gour, but it would not budge.

 

"Harder ! Harder !"yelled Camilla

 

Charles yelled back, "I'm trying, darling ! But it's just so bloody tight !"

 

"Come on! Give it all you've got!"

The shoe finally came off !!!

"There !  God, that felt so good!"

 

In their bedroom next door, the Queen said to Prince Phillip, "See ! I told you , with a face like hers, she had to be a virgin !"

 

When Charles tried to remove the left shoe, he cried, "Darling This one's even tighter !"

 

At which time, Prince Phillip chip-ped in to the Queen, "That's my boy ! He served in the Navy ,,,,, once a Rear Admiral, always a Rear Admiral !"

 

 

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QQ2017

QQ2017

6th Gear

Last night, after dinner, I was taking a walk on the road. When I walked past a convenient store I thought of going in to buy something. Then I realised that I didn't have money with me. So I phoned my family to bring some money to me.

 

While waiting for my money, I saw an old man burning joss paper by the road side. I went to have a chat with him.

 

"What are you doing here ? " I asked him

"I m sending money to my family " he said.

Then he asked me, " What are you doing here ?"

" I m waiting for my family to send money to me. "

 

On hearing this, his face turned pale and he ran away quickly.

 

I shouted to him, " Hey, don't run ! I m just waiting for my family to send money to me !"

 

Suddenly, all the people burning joss paper nearby also ran away.

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QQ2017

QQ2017

6th Gear

Reporter: "Excuse me, may I interview you?"

Man: "Yes!"

Reporter: "Name?"

Man: "Abdul Al-Rhazim."

Reporter: "Sex?"

Man: "Three to five times a week."

Reporter: "No no! I mean male or female?"

Man: "Yes, male, female... sometimes camel."

Reporter: "Holy cow!"

Man: "Yes, cow, sheep... animals in general."

Reporter: "But isn't that hostile?"

Man: "Yes, horse style, dog style, any style."

Reporter: "Oh dear!"

Man: "No, no deer. Deer run too fast. Hard to catch."

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QQ2017

QQ2017

6th Gear

Q. A man noticed that his credit card had been stolen but didn't report it. Why?

 

A. The thief was spending less then his wife.

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cashcow

cashcow

Turbocharged

Given the spate of recent train breakdowns on the North-South Line, frustrated netizens have been spreading around this image that seems to depict Uber making fun of SMRT’s constant breakdowns — in an advertisement for its services. One that’s placed at a station platform, even.

 

post-160605-0-52771200-1503658978_thumb.jpg

 

Read on....

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DACH

DACH

Supersonic

Can you imagine working for a

 

Can you imagine working for a company that has a little more than 500 employees and has the followingstatistics:

*29 have been accused of spousal abuse

* 7 have been arrested for fraud

* 19 have been accused of writing bad checks

* 117 have directly or indirectly bankrupted at least 2 businesses

* 3 have done time for assault

* 71 cannot get a credit card due to bad credit

* 14 have been arrested on drug-related charges

* 8 have been arrested for shoplifting

* 21 are currently defendants in lawsuits

* 84 have been arrested for drunk driving in the last year

* 1 one ran a stop sign and killed a man on a motorcycle

Can you guess which organization this is?

Give up yet?

It's the 535 members of the United States Congress. The same group of idiots elected by us that crank out hundreds of new laws each year designed to keep the rest of us in line.

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Enye

Enye

Hypersonic

“为什么历史上没有潮州籍太监？”

 

答案是：历史上有100多个皇帝，只用过1个潮州籍太监，但他第一天进宫当差，就被斩首了，从此潮州人摆脱了当太监的悲惨命运。斩首的原因是：派他伺候皇帝用膳，他准备妥当之后用潮州话高声跪喊---

皇上～驾崩了（吃饭了）

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