An interesting question for married men

[Nzy]

nope. I've visited them before. Well the singapore ones are really for the bedbound ones, so yeah it's more depressing than the usual nursing homes that u see in the UK or australia whereby the elders are more mobile.

There are some better elderly but they only at most make up less than half of the nursing home occupants.

 

Cos in SG, if u belong in that category, u usually go to daycare (at most) or stone at home with a maid to jaga.

So our nursing homes are the equivalent of LTCC (long term chronic care) overseas.

 

Oh. I think got another type right? Old folks home is it? I visited my grandfather there. All there like normal old folks. Not sick or bedridden kind. But that was more than 10 years ago already.

But if you are mobile and active, why would you wanna be in a nursing home if you don't need long term medical care?

 

More friends? My grandfather seemed happier when he was living at the nursing home. When he was staying alone he need maid and always not happy with the maid. 

[Ktglfc]

An interesting topic popped up over lunch among my buddies today so I was hoping to get a feel of the general population with regards to it.

 

Here goes,

 

For a married man with your own family, do you

 

1) Give your own parents money on a regular basis for survival?

2) Give your own parents money on a regular basis for kopi?

3) Give your wife's parents money on a regular basis for survival?

4) Give your wife's parents money on a regular basis for Kopi?

5) Give your own parents and wife's parents money on a regular basis for survival?

6) Give your own parents and wife's parents money on a regular basis for Kopi?

7) Spend all the money on your own family i.e. wife, kids

8) Give your wife money on a regular basis?

9) Keep all the money to yourself and manage your own individual finances between spouse?

 

Feel free to add anything missing from the above 

 

I give $ to my parents, wife and kids... but not to in-laws ... cos $ not enough

[Celicar]

While there is valid reason to ask in the context of marriage (since that comes with additional obligations) and for married MEN (since we are talking about in-laws), at the more fundamental level, all men whether married or not (and for that matter women) should give back to parents and that should not stop after marriage.

 

The debt to our parents cannot be repaid in this lifetime. 

[Windwaver]

I give $ to my parents, wife and kids... but not to in-laws ... cos $ not enough

 

Looking at how people spend these days, $10K a month also not enough 

Edited January 8, 2016 by Windwaver

[Lala81]

While there is valid reason to ask in the context of marriage (since that comes with additional obligations) and for married MEN (since we are talking about in-laws), at the more fundamental level, all men whether married or not (and for that matter women) should give back to parents and that should not stop after marriage.

 

The debt to our parents cannot be repaid in this lifetime. 

 

haha western society is different.

[Pinobii]

Are nursing homes really bad? My family got tradition of sending parents to nursing homes. Lol. My grandparents suggested they go nursing home and my parents also told me next time when they old, just put them in nursing home.

 

nursing home are really bad, they are expensive and dont expect the fws to take care of the elderly well

 

i dont think in ur context means nursing home ba

 

usually due to medical conditions, no choice coz no one can take care then go nursing home

[Roh96]

It's not just anecdotal. My senior once told me every daughter u have means a 25 percent less chance that u will die in a nursing home

 

Wah..then I am lucky bcos I have 2 daughters. So my chance is lesser by 50%

[Icemaiden]

I can tell you give your parents a lot. Do they have their own savings and financial means? I only give my parents kopi money and share some of my bonuses with them. Reason being they don't like to take money from me and prefer to be financially independent. In future, I would also like to save for my own retirement too - that is a value they taught me. There are times I feel by giving too much to the parents, it also creates a dependency that is not healthy - some parents start having a spendthrift lifestyle. I know of people who gave so much to the parents that the parents have a luxurious life while they suffer and can't even afford to buy a house. 

 

 

Give my parents $600 each per month, plus my brother's share, so each of them gets $1,200 per month.

 

I "bao" their SP services, Starhub TV, Singtel broadband, both their handphones, town council fees. (total about $350/month).

 

Lunar New Year give $2K "ang-pow" each, birthday $1K "ang-pow".

 

Three years ago, bought a new VW Golf VII for my dad; I "bao" instalments, insurance, maintenance, HDB parking, etc..

 

I "pok" liao, but I am very happy to be able to provide for them in their golden years.

 

 

P.S.  Oops, just realized I don't qualify to reply to this thread, since I already divorced liao.

 

Don't mind my sharing ah.

 

[Dfx16]

If can give, just give to whoever u think deserve to

 

My uncle pass away in Dec, i can see the regret in all my cousin face

They only give and spend all of their time with my uncle in his last 3 days when doctor told them he only got few days left 

 

Likewise my another close friend in his late 30's was diagnosed cancer 2nd stage yesterday, he and family was devastated now 

[Doppel]

I can tell you give your parents a lot. Do they have their own savings and financial means? I only give my parents kopi money and share some of my bonuses with them. Reason being they don't like to take money from me and prefer to be financially independent. In future, I would also like to save for my own retirement too - that is a value they taught me. There are times I feel by giving too much to the parents, it also creates a dependency that is not healthy - some parents start having a spendthrift lifestyle. I know of people who gave so much to the parents that the parents have a luxurious life while they suffer and can't even afford to buy a house.

My parents also live a frugal lifestyle.

 

They also have their own retirement savings but without additional income streams, it would be stressful for them to entirely depend on their savings.

 

With our regular monthly contribution, hopefully they don't have to worry too much about money and live out their golden years peacefully.

[Fcw75]

Give to those mentioned no problem.

 

Just don't give to those at massage parlors/spa/etc.

 

 

Edited January 8, 2016 by Fcw75