How to solve this problem?

[WTF]

Have seen 2 cases for me.

 

Case 1 : My SIL before marriage living with us for almost 5 yrs, Mum not happy with her 'cos don't know she exist before she moved in with us. After got married, my bro bought a flat and they moved out. Relationship between my Mum and SIL improved a lot.

 

Case 2 : My colleague got along very well with her MIL before marriage and even better after marriage and lving under the same roof.

 

Guess that both have to get along well first then the chance of getting along with each other is higher, else.....

 

Now my gf who's a foreigner said that we should stay with my parents after marriage so that we can take care of them. I hope that I will not end up as the same as my bro.....

[Tianmo]

sori to the ladies here........................

 

but i must say, women are very funny creatures, fight father with mother, fight husband with MIL, fight son with DIL, at every stage they do the same thing to different ppl.

 

women are also very protective to their "HOME", they will not allow anyone else to come into and share their home with their family. and they will stand very firm on this issue.

 

because of the F#@king issue that girls are to be marry off, so women take their "HOME" very seriously. please take note.

 

mothers will fight with DIL over son, over anything and everything, food, cloth, house.....................anything!

 

the more they love the son, the more they will hang on to him, but the fellow is no boy anymore.............................mothers must see the point.

 

the moment the guy agrees to the moving in, ceiling and floor will change place, believe me,.

 

It is a hidden battle between the two women, started by the mother, to gain control over everything and not to lost the son to the DIL, again the F@$king issue of marry a DIL die a son thing.

 

I assume that the mother is in good health, the Father is around and he is the only son.

 

 

[Piyopico]

Mum wants to move in with son after marriage

Wife-to-be says NO!

 

Both woman have the single mindedness of a stampeding rhino.

 

 

Who do you love more?

 

Is your mom the kind from hell that your future wife cannot stand? If she is, then your future wife has good grounds. Even if you change another girlfren, your mom will still create this problem for your new future wife. Tell your mom to be reasonable and just say no if this is the case.

 

If your future wife is the unreasonable one, then just change lor. Maybe she is just very particular about having a family/home with just her hubby and future kids. I for one would prefer to stay separately from my mom.

 

The last thing you want is to have a fighting wife and mom.....................

 

 

 

 

[Quickfusion]

let mum move in... if wife sae no...

 

 

divorce

 

 

alittle extreme or ppl would say if the real situation no 1 will divorce cause of this... but i will... after all its my mum tat brought mi to tis world... they are hard enough to raise us up... tis is little of wat we can do...

 

 

 

Exactly the same thing I would do.

 

[Mivec9]

hard lei....maybe throw a dice to decide.

 

 

seriously can communicate well together does not mean can live together under same roof. esp ladies....bound to have

 

best is live close in same area better. good for everyone lah!

[Aimnfire]

i think the wife says no is because

 

1. want privacy, can run around the house, playing police and thief naked

 

2. wants to be independant

 

3. dont want to have head on especially if at work got problem

 

the problem of new generation, i think it start with the last breed of generation x is that they are not family oriented. they envy friends that have their own nest with no outside interference therefore they die die want to have their own nest.

 

realise that more and more old forks are being dump by their kids as most of them consider themas nuisance. of course parents are no angels themselves. they insist they are right since they bring us into the world.

 

to TS i wish you luck as i went through the same thing.

[Jamesc]

Choose a wife that gets along wt yr mum.

 

More importantly choose a MIL that gets along wt u.

 

So next time u fight wt yr wife n she complains to her mum,

 

her mum will side wt u n say to yr wife she must listen to u.

 

If u dun get along wt yr MIL, she will tell ye wife, see I told

 

u not to marry that idiot.

 

Yr life, yr choice, choose wisely.

 

 

[Ehchang8]

Mum wants to move in with son after marriage

Wife-to-be says NO!

 

Both woman have the single mindedness of a stampeding rhino.

 

for your case, my opinion is never let mum move in because gf already indicated her choice. chances are things will get worst if they stay together.

 

some people like to have the romance of owning a house with their love one. if mum move in, spoil the feelings.

[Good-Carbuyer]

Who do you love more?

 

Is your mom the kind from hell that your future wife cannot stand? If she is, then your future wife has good grounds. Even if you change another girlfren, your mom will still create this problem for your new future wife. Tell your mom to be reasonable and just say no if this is the case.

 

If your future wife is the unreasonable one, then just change lor. Maybe she is just very particular about having a family/home with just her hubby and future kids. I for one would prefer to stay separately from my mom.

 

The last thing you want is to have a fighting wife and mom.....................

 

 

You poor man, both are ladies who believe and demand for the sole ownership of the man in their lives (many/most families have this problem)

 

The first consolation is both ladies love you (some husbands had to exiled himself from home after marriage (so the two ladies do not quarrel when he is absent). Example husband turned workaholic or went flitting with other woman

 

Next, you lucky man, I, an orphan, do not even have a girl friend not to mention a mother

[Scion]

伤脑筋 ah

 

[Kezg1]

Bro, no offence for my 2 cents tot.

 

maybe i belong to the older gen... if my wife cannot live with my parent... i will not marry her in the 1st place...

 

just imagine, our parent spend at least 18 yrs b4 we could stand on our own feet... the amount of money, sweat, tears spend on us... its something that we owe them for life.... WHOLE LIFE!!!! now, father/mother want to stay together, it is too much to ask for???!!!!

 

go back and fu*k the bloody women who think she is greater than your mother!

 

 

 

Ditto here.....mum have all the keys to our hse (siblings) and just need to call...no approval needed.

[Jay1980]

Mum wants to move in with son after marriage

Wife-to-be says NO!

 

Both woman have the single mindedness of a stampeding rhino.

 

you should convince ur future wife that staying with parents is so great.

Firstly, there always someone to help out when nxt time you have kids.

There always someone to help you monitor the maid when bothof you at work.

I more traditional, I only trust my parent on the trust of looking over my kids.

I believe only kins will be very careful when taking care of ur kid.

 

Although i know it kind of difficult to have two women in the same flat but I believe can be done. At least I,m trying. And currently it's stil working out fine at least until now. It's being a few years.

 

Now the question is whether your future wife willing to try out anot?

If no then you can threaten to say byebye to her liao

 

just my opinion

 

 

[Jay1980]

Mum wants to move in with son after marriage

Wife-to-be says NO!

 

Both woman have the single mindedness of a stampeding rhino.

 

you should convince ur future wife that staying with parents is so great.

Firstly, there always someone to help out when nxt time you have kids.

There always someone to help you monitor the maid when bothof you at work.

I more traditional, I only trust my parent on the trust of looking over my kids.

I believe only kins will be very careful when taking care of ur kid.

 

Although i know it kind of difficult to have two women in the same flat but I believe can be done. At least I,m trying. And currently it's stil working out fine at least until now. It's being a few years.

 

Now the question is whether your future wife willing to try out anot?

If no then you can threaten to say byebye to her liao

 

just my opinion

 

 

[Flykite]

Choose a wife that gets along wt yr mum.

 

More importantly choose a MIL that gets along wt u.

 

So next time u fight wt yr wife n she complains to her mum,

 

her mum will side wt u n say to yr wife she must listen to u.

 

If u dun get along wt yr MIL, she will tell ye wife, see I told

 

u not to marry that idiot.

 

Yr life, yr choice, choose wisely.

 

yes yes fully agree

[Gobbler]

if you insist your wife stays with your parents. prolly, things will get nasty along the way.

two of my friends had this problem. one end up divorced, the other wife packed and moved back to her parents place. she complained my friend spent too much time with his family, not enough time on her.

 

 

[6821]

you should convince ur future wife that staying with parents is so great.

Firstly, there always someone to help out when nxt time you have kids.

There always someone to help you monitor the maid when bothof you at work.

I more traditional, I only trust my parent on the trust of looking over my kids.

I believe only kins will be very careful when taking care of ur kid.

 

Although i know it kind of difficult to have two women in the same flat but I believe can be done. At least I,m trying. And currently it's stil working out fine at least until now. It's being a few years.

 

Now the question is whether your future wife willing to try out anot?

If no then you can threaten to say byebye to her liao

 

just my opinion

 

its a great test for wife to be, see her reaction aft u convince tt staying with mom is great. SEE her true colors!

[Ehchang8]

 

why should mother stay with son ? to help out ? to save cost ? i don't understand. people just married, u want to go in already...if they already got baby, i can understand, but still they can bring the baby to u .

your son should be able to run the family without any help from parents. put him there and he will grow ....

 

i myself won't want to stay with my children when they form their own family. any decisions they make for their family is between husband and wife, why should i be in-between ? it's because i don't want to be in between them, that's why i don't want to stay with them.

[TortoiseRacer]

why should mother stay with son ? to help out ? to save cost ? i don't understand. people just married, u want to go in already...if they already got baby, i can understand, but still they can bring the baby to u .

your son should be able to run the family without any help from parents. put him there and he will grow ....

 

i myself won't want to stay with my children when they form their own family. any decisions they make for their family is between husband and wife, why should i be in-between ? it's because i don't want to be in between them, that's why i don't want to stay with them.

 

Totally agreed dude! Mother already stayed with son for pretty much most of his life, it's time he ventured out of the nest on his own.