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Sharing of Good Jokes

Byteslurve

By Byteslurve,
in Lite & EZ

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Maxus-MIFA9

Maxus-MIFA9

Supersonic

Fight between husband & wife

 

Instead of resorting to shouting, abusing or physical force, they write poems to each other .......... :sick:

 

 

Wife :

 

I wrote your name on the sand it got washed away...

I wrote your name in air, it was blown away

Then I wrote your name on my heart & I got Heart Attack 

 

Husband :

 

God saw me hungry, he created pizza

He saw me thirsty, he created Pepsi

He saw me in the dark, he created light

He saw me without problems, he created YOU

 

 

Wife :

 

Twinkle twinkle little star

You should know what you are

And once you know what you are

Mental Hospital is not so far

 

 

Husband :

 

The rain makes all things beautiful

The grass and flowers too

If rain makes all things beautiful

Why doesn't it rain on YOU

 

 

Wife :

 

Roses are red, Violets are blue

Monkeys like u should be kept in zoo

Don't feel so angry cos you will find me there too

Not in then cage but laughing at YOU !!!!    :slow: 

 

 

:a-happy:     :a-happy:     :a-happy:   

 

 

 

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Jeffc

Jeffc

5th Gear

Conversation Between 2 Ghosts

 

Ghost 1 : Hey

Ghost 2 : Hey

 

Ghost 1 : How did you Die?

Ghost 2 : I was mistakenly locked up in a refrigerator. At first, I was chilling, then I started freezing, and then I couldn't breathe again... I died of suffocation.

 

Ghost 1 : Wow! What a sad way to die.

Ghost 2 : Yeah! And how did you die?

 

Ghost 1 : My wife cheated on me. I came back home and saw a pair of shoes. Then I rushed to the bedroom and met only my wife there. She was naked. I knew there was a man inside the house because my neighbour told me the man is still inside the house as my wife scared stiff. So I started running and searching the whole house. I searched in the kid's room, kitchen, toilet, bathroom, wardrobe and dinning hall. But I couldn't find him and I was frantically tired of all that running, so I got a heart attack.

Ghost 2 : IDIOT!!!!

If you would have checked the fridge, we would both have been alive by now!!!

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Uncle2

Uncle2

Hypersonic

Why Chinese Shouldn't Have English Name:

 

Caller: *Hello, can I speak to Annie Wan (anyone)?*

Operator: *Yes, you can speak to me.*

 

Caller: *No, I want to speak to Annie Wan (anyone)!*

Operator: *you are talking to someone? Who is this?*

 

Caller: *I'm Sam Wan (someone). And I need to talk to Annie Wan (anyone)! It's urgent*.

Operator: *I know you are someone and you want to talk to anyone! But what's this Urgent matter about?*

 

Caller: *Well... just tell my sister Annie Wan (anyone) that our brother Noel Wan (no one) has been involved in an accident. Noel Wan (no one) got Injured and now Noel Wan (no one) has been sent to the hospital. Right now, Avery Wan (everyone) is on his way to the hospital*.

Operator: *Look! If no one was injured and no one was sent to the hospital, then the accident isn't an urgent matter! You may find this hilarious but I don't have time for this!*

 

Caller: *You are so rude! Who are you?*

Operator: *I'm Saw Lee (sorry)*.

 

Caller: *Yes! You should be sorry. Now give me your name!!!*

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Jman888

Jman888

Moderator

Isn't there a thread already for jokes?

 

In before merge.

 

:D

 

 

you very bad but i agree, it should be under the jokes thread  [laugh]

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Ingenius

Ingenius

Turbocharged

⚠

Question: Why is the "69" position also called the "smokers' position?" 

Answer: Because while she is smoking the cigar, he is cleaning the ashtray.

⚠

Question: Why is sperm donation more expensive than blood donation? 

Answer: Because it's HANDMADE!

⚠

Question: What is the smallest hotel in the world? 

Answer: It's Vagina Inn.

Because it can only accommodate 1 standing occupant and 2 pieces of baggage outside!

⚠

2 call girls were in a taxi, on their way home after "work". 

Callgirl 1: I smell sperm! 

Callgirl 2: Sorry, I burped!

⚠

Love is a complicated piece of machinery. 

Sometimes, all you need is a good screw to fix it.

⚠

What's the difference between biology and sociology? 

When the baby looks like his dad or mom, then it is biology. 

When the baby looks like the neighbor, then it is sociology.

⚠

Whoever first said that "A dog is man's best friend" has never seen a pussy before.

⚠

Dracula asked God, "May I be reincarnated as a white angel with wings and still suck blood?" 

God said, "Okay" and Poof!

Dracula turned into a sanitary pad!

⚠

What is the speed limit in sex?

70 - because at 69 you have to turn around.

⚠

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2BDriver

2BDriver

Hypersonic

â 

Question: Why is the "69" position also called the "smokers' position?"

Answer: Because while she is smoking the cigar, he is cleaning the ashtray.

â 

Question: Why is sperm donation more expensive than blood donation?

Answer: Because it's HANDMADE!

â 

Question: What is the smallest hotel in the world?

Answer: It's Vagina Inn.

Because it can only accommodate 1 standing occupant and 2 pieces of baggage outside!

â 

2 call girls were in a taxi, on their way home after "work".

Callgirl 1: I smell sperm!

Callgirl 2: Sorry, I burped!

â 

Love is a complicated piece of machinery.

Sometimes, all you need is a good screw to fix it.

â 

What's the difference between biology and sociology?

When the baby looks like his dad or mom, then it is biology.

When the baby looks like the neighbor, then it is sociology.

â 

Whoever first said that "A dog is man's best friend" has never seen a pussy before.

â 

Dracula asked God, "May I be reincarnated as a white angel with wings and still suck blood?"

God said, "Okay" and Poof!

Dracula turned into a sanitary pad!

â 

What is the speed limit in sex?

70 - because at 69 you have to turn around.

â 

Only genius can think about and writes these non stoppable laughing jokes, well scripts, we want more...
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Atrecord

Atrecord

Supersonic

Got this today. Hope not shared before...

 

solly to those bros/sis's who dun read Chinese. This one got to do with Chinese poems so it's bit hard to un-tiong... But for those who can understand, it's si bey funny  :XD:

 

Bro @2BDriver, 请多指教！

 

post-17508-0-87483200-1491891017_thumb.jpeg

 

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2BDriver

2BDriver

Hypersonic

Got this today. Hope not shared before...

 

solly to those bros/sis's who dun read Chinese. This one got to do with Chinese poems so it's bit hard to un-tiong... But for those who can understand, it's si bey funny :XD:

 

Bro @2BDriver, 请å¤ææï¼

 

WhatsApp Image 2017-04-11 at 08.23.19.jpeg

这就是我多年来的老毛病, 的决改不了 !
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Carbon82

Carbon82

Moderator
(edited)

This photo defy the old dialect saying "want to drink milk also don't need to bring the whole cow home" (hokkien: Ai lim gu ni mah bian gui jia gu kang teng chu).

 

C9Byy2dUMAQOqr2.jpg

 

Move aside UberEat, Food Panda, Deliveroo... I am going to start my own fresh milk delivery company.

 

Please call 1800-OHMYMILK... Thank you very much for your support. [:)]

Edited by Carbon82
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